The Cost of Leaving the United States

I'm not talking about going on a vacation abroad. I am talking about leaving the United States and making another country somewhere in the world my new home. Have you ever considered that? Renunciation of US citizenship is a big step. Most folks that go cite tax reasons or dissatisfaction with the political direction of the US or the cost of living in the US. And it's true that your US dollar will go farther in some other countries, at least right now.

So I was wondering how much it would cost to leave. I was just curious, so I did about 40 seconds of research and came up with an article in Forbes magazine about it. 

"Over the last two years, the U.S. has had a spike in expatriations. It isn’t exactly Ellis Island in reverse, but it’s more than a dribble. With global tax reporting and FATCA, the list of the individuals who renounced is up. For 2013, there was a 221% increase, with record numbers of Americans renouncing. The Treasury Department is required to publish a quarterly list, but these numbers are under-stated, some say considerably."

Apparently we are leaving in record numbers. Soon they will have to build walls to keep us in.

"To leave America, you generally must prove 5 years of U.S. tax compliance. If you have a net worth greater than $2 million or average annual net income tax for the 5 previous years of $157,000 or more for 2014 (that’s tax, not income), you pay an exit tax. It is a capital gain tax as if you sold your property when you left. At least there’s an exemption of $680,000 for 2014. Long-term residents giving up a Green Card can be required to pay the tax too.
Now, the State Department interim rule just raised the fee for renunciation of U.S. citizenship to $2,350 from $450. Critics note that it’s more than twenty times the average level in other high-income countries. The State Department says it’s about demand on their services and all the extra workload they have to process people who are on their way out."

So there is a fee of $2,350.00 just to renounce and if you are rich or close to it, there is an exit tax.

It seems to me that someone is trying to keep us from leaving and that makes me want to go before it becomes impossible. On the other hand, do I want to be an immigrant in another culture? Even a legal immigrant? Well maybe if they spoke English in my new country and there was a Walmart and a Hy Vee. What are the odds? I guess I could immigrate to Kansas, but that would defeat my purpose of getting away...unless Kansas secedes from the Union. Is there any hope of that?

I did hear that there is a danger of secession in California, New Mexico and Arizona and it's because of the huge number of immigrants there. Spanish is becoming the first language in those states and I suppose there is some poetic justice in Mexico maybe getting back what it lost back in the 1840's.

Whatever the case, it would seem that the manifest destiny of the white man is just about at an end. Europe is falling to immigration from the middle east. Muslims are taking over what was once Christian territory and why not? Christianity is all but dead there. They are almost post post Christian. Europe will soon change forever unless the nationalists there can get their immigration problem fixed. They better hurry. There are not a lot of white folks left.

Western Caucasians have had a death wish for most of the last century and into the 21st. The convenience of birth control and abortion along with the need for two income families has shrunk the size of white households considerably and even below replacement levels. Governments have been forced to open the flood gates to hordes of immigrants that are not melding into the once white culture of the west. Socialism requires taxes. Taxes come from workers. If workers are not produced in sufficient numbers, then they must be imported to support the social welfare system.  The reality though is that increases in immigration into the host countries also increases the size of it's welfare rolls. It is a burden that could bring down the entire west and fracture the nation status of the US and EU. I do believe that day is not far off.

ISIS is a minor threat by comparison.

And that is why I'm thinking about a place to escape to. I do not want to be here when the feces hit the oscillating wind device.

Can they build a wall around Kansas? Probably not. We are all doomed. What is a groundhog to do?

I Was Advised To Take A Day Off

....and on The First Day of The Week

 
It was a new day. It was early Sunday morning. Pilate slept. The high priests slumbered. Judas was dead. The Devil was in Hell and those in his prison had been released (1 Peter 3:19, 20). God's Chosen One, once again, walked the earth. He was ALIVE!

John 20:1-18

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. ² So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
³ So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ⁴ Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. ⁵ He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. ⁶ Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, ⁷ as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. ⁸ Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. ⁹ (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) ¹⁰ Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.
¹¹ Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb ¹² and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.
¹³ They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”
“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” ¹⁴ At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
¹⁵ He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”
¹⁶ Jesus said to her, “Mary.”
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).
¹⁷ Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”
¹⁸ Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

He defeated death and the power of sin. He can do the same for you. There is still time. He is waiting.

Another Perspective

Bad Moon Rising

Actually, it will be setting here in Iowa. There will be a total lunar eclipse at around 5:30 AM on the western horizon just before moon set in the morning. The actual eclipse will happen quickly, and will probably not last for more than 5 minutes. The shadow of the earth will cover the moon, blocking the rising sun's light and making the moon appear blood red, hence the name "blood moon". There are many religious types, among them the  fundie Christians and orthodox Jews, that are seeing this as some kind of sign from the Almighty since this is happening on Easter/Passover weekend. It is being interpreted as a sign of impending judgement or some other gloom or doom. For me, it's just a natural phenomenon and a thing of beauty. Somehow, I think if God wanted to tell us something, there would be frogs and locusts or maybe the death of the first born. God does not mess around with moon shadows when there is serious judging to be done.  Enjoy the light show.  

The Day Love Died

 

Mark 15:25-41

²⁵ It was nine in the morning when they crucified him. ²⁶ The written notice of the charge against him read: the king of the jews.
²⁷ They crucified two rebels with him, one on his right and one on his left. ^{[28] [a] 29} Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “So! You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, ³⁰ come down from the cross and save yourself!” ³¹ In the same way the chief priests and the teachers of the law mocked him among themselves. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! ³² Let this Messiah, this king of Israel, come down now from the cross, that we may see and believe.” Those crucified with him also heaped insults on him.
³³ At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. ³⁴ And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).^[b]
35 When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.”
³⁶ Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said.
³⁷ With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.
³⁸ The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. ³⁹ And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died,^[c] he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”
⁴⁰ Some women were watching from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph,^[d] and Salome. ⁴¹ In Galilee these women had followed him and cared for his needs. Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there.

It was not a Good Friday for Jesus, but it is what He was born to do. He became the lamb of God. He took on our sin and then became our sacrifice. He stood in our place, taking our punishment, suffering the worst form of execution devised by the hand of man - crucifixion. The hope of the whole world rested on His act of selflessness. His death became our gain. He made it possible for us to stand before God without fear, forgiven of sin as children of the living God. 

But it was not over. Sunday was coming and the hope that He gave in His death would translate to victory and life eternal on the first day of the new week. Sunday was coming...                     

Good Company To Be In

I can relate to this...

2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am no Paul, but I understand this. My situation is not the same, but the thorn I have is every bit as perplexing and it certainly proves to me daily that I have nothing to be conceited about. I am not sure I am to the point of delighting in weakness, but I may be getting there. 

Paul, thanks for sharing. Someday I hope to tell you so in person.   

My Anger

From the age of about 14 to 19, I was a legalist. I subscribed to the Christian faith, but I was all about making others live in fear of losing their salvation if they did not do things the way I saw them in scripture. I was skilled from an early age at negatively motivating people and holding their feet to the doctrinal fire. It was also a very good way to keep people from looking at my life and holding me to the same standard. No one wants to challenge their inquisitor.

I also had a smoldering anger with God. I felt like He had set me up to fail because of certain issues in my personal life which I hoped I would grow out of as time went on. One of them I did grow out of, but the other one remained....to this day. I still take it to God with no result except maybe the will to resist. But getting back to my legalist persona... 

The problem with living like this is that no one could live up to the standards I set....including myself.  Like everyone else, I had character flaws as mentioned above. Like everyone else, my flesh was bent, and I had some pretty serious bends. I was setting up a conflict within myself that was going to make me lash out at God in anger and send me to the desert for 18 years.

I went to Bible college when I was 17 ready to receive my tassels so I could sit in the seat of judgement with the other Pharisees. This is not a good motivation for going to Bible college. I learned quickly that most of the Christians there were not like me. They were submitted people that realized they were sinners saved by grace and they wanted to help other people get there. That was not me.

Anyway, I took many classes, most of them from the Old Testament and I sharpened my rhetorical skills. In my personal life however, I undertook a study of Romans in the New Testament and this...this became the source of my irritation and anger with God. There were things in there that were completely out of line with my personal interpretation of the scriptures. At the same time, I was searching for answers regarding my personal spiritual issues that I could not harmonize with God's Word. 

I was in conflict. I had determined that God was unfair and unjust for many reasons. Then I got to Romans 9. Adding to what was God's utter rebuke to my approach to the faith, He sent me a very strange room mate. He was a Catholic charismatic from Cleveland. Looking back, I think God did that on purpose. Kind of rude Lord. Anyhow...

Being 18 years old (by that time), I was completely frustrated by the time I read this:

Romans 9:14-21

¹⁴ What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! ¹⁵ For he says to Moses,

“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
    and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”^[f]

¹⁶ It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. ¹⁷ For Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”^{[g] 18} Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

¹⁹ One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who is able to resist his will?” ²⁰ But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”^{[h] 21} Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?

These words, to my mind, were completely unfair. Who could stand against a God that treats His creations this way? Why would I want to submit to this? 

It turns out that submission was part of the problem. To that point in my life I had not submitted to much of anything. When you're right, you don't have to submit to anyone? So it became my will against God's Will. All of my personal standards that I had spent so much time developing fell to the ground like a shattered pane of glass. I was going to Hell because I could no longer justify myself, the junk in my personal life or the way I was living. On top of this, I had a Catholic Charismatic room mate that was trying to get me to lighten up, be more tolerant and enjoy my faith.

I was a walking tragedy. I gave up. I quit praying, left the school I was in and moved to Texas to pursue a liberal arts degree in political science. I went to a Christian college there, but I did not participate in the Christian life. I found a group of nere-do-wells and spent a lot of time doing drugs and drinking. I also fell in lust with someone that I had a relationship with for about 9 months. It was a strange and completely different life. I found that I liked these people. They seemed more normal and in touch with themselves than any Christians I knew. They were real. They were open and honest about their pain and their pleasures. They were not afraid to be who they were.

Having never lived that way, I found it refreshing and fun. I really pushed the envelope. It is a wonder I did not end up in jail. I did get suspended from school for a couple of weeks, but my grades were good and my life was uncomplicated by excessive rule keeping.

The problem with living like that is that it can shorten your life. It can also inhibit your ability to support yourself in the real world where what you do really matters. So at some point after graduation, I had to get my life back together, at least enough to work. I managed to do that. I have worked for a number for reputable companies without ever quitting my job. Lots of buyouts and mergers kept me employed.

I never did get back to the church in those early years. From age 24 to 37, I was unchurched and I did not really miss it.  I found I did not like Christians all that much; even the 'cool' ones. So I worked and did little else except go fishing and go home once and a while.

Home was a problem for me. I found that every time I went home, I would get depressed. I missed home, my parents, my grandparents and...yes...even the church I grew up in. It set up a longing in me to go home that did not stop until I actually got here. It was this longing for home that put me in touch with God again. I wanted to go home so badly that I prayed. It was like He was waiting by the phone. It all happened very quickly. I ended up back in the church after a time and I have not really looked back since that time.

I know the Lord in a different way now. The lens through which I view Romans 9 has been refocused. In my anger, I had completely missed the most important part of that passage in verse 16.

 ¹⁶ It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy.

It is by God's mercy and grace that we are saved. There is nothing I can do to earn it. I have nothing of value to offer in exchange for it. I can only accept it when He gives it. I am pleased to say I have accepted.

I still slip into Pharisee mode occasionally. I usually receive reminders when I do. As for my personal issues with God - we still discuss them. There may be some lingering anger, but I love Him too much to hold the bentness of my own flesh against Him. I still wish He would have fixed them, but I would have missed so many other learning experiences if He had done so.

Looking back, my own failure to submit my life to Him is what has been the real issue. I still cling to some things that I should not. I need to let them die. I think there is time for that to happen. I may be looking pretty good when I get to the Pearly Gates. 

What a long, strange trip its been 

News of Flathead County

From the Flathead Beacon Police Blotter

7:42 a.m. Someone driving down Highway 35 in Kalispell reported that a woman with “irregular leg movements” was standing next to her car on the side of the road.
12:50 p.m. An uncatchable cocker spaniel remains at large on Farm to Market Road.
1:28 p.m. Cigarettes and sunglasses were reported stolen from an unlocked vehicle on South Cedar Drive.
1:40 p.m. Reportedly, people have been stealing items out of a collection bin at a thrift store in Bigfork.
2:52 p.m. A woman was overheard laughing with a man and discussing the fit of someone’s tunic during an accidental call to 911.
6:37 p.m. A local man reported that someone stole money out of the wallet he left in his unlocked car. He called back later claiming that his money was never actually stolen.
6:50 p.m. A runaway dog adamantly refused to return to its home in Columbia Falls. The owners granted the dog’s request and it was taken to the animal shelter.
7:33 p.m. A Bigfork man reported that his ex-wife crept in through a window and stole his cat.

The crime wave continues unabated. How can a community live like this when miscreants run wild and unchecked.

Resurrection

Sunday is Easter.  I prefer to call it  Resurrection Sunday. It is celebrated by Christians around the world as the day on which Christ rose from the dead three days after His brutal execution on a Roman cross. It is the central miracle of the New Testament; that someone who is dead can live again. It is the driving force behind the Christian faith, that you too can enjoy resurrection to a better life after you have shuffled off the mortal coil. It is one reason why believers actually believe.

You find allusions to resurrection throughout the New Testament, but Paul does an excellent summary of 'resurrection knowledge' in 1 Corinthians 15. He writes first about the resurrection of Christ and the witnesses to the event that includes himself, having seen Jesus at a later date than the other witnesses. In shear numbers, there were over 500 witnesses. To me, this constitutes proof. Jesus Christ lives.

Paul also talks a bit about the resurrection of all the dead in general, but his focus is mostly on believers. The fate of the resurrected unbelievers is not discussed here to any extent, but we know their outcome is not good.

He ends the discussion with a description of the process of resurrection itself. The prospect is exciting. He says,

1 Corinthians 15:51-58

    ⁵¹ Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— ⁵² in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. ⁵³ For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. ⁵⁴ When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”^[h]

⁵⁵ “Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”^[i]

⁵⁶ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. ⁵⁷ But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁵⁸ Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Those of us that still live when Christ returns will not die in the classic sense, but we will be changed, we will be transformed. Our physical selves will become our everlasting selves in unity with our immortal spirits. From that point, we will live forever.

Those of us that are dead at His second advent, will receive new physical bodies and we too shall live forever with Christ. The universe will be renovated, renewed (not discussed here) and we shall rule and reign with Him forever. 

The future is bright. As the old creation, marred by the effects of sin and death winds down, it will give birth to the true new age and we will be there with life that will never end. The day is coming.

The nature of the resurrection body is a bit of a mystery, but we have clues. The record of Jesus' resurrection body can be found in the gospels. When he appeared to the disciples on the road to Emmaus  in Luke 24 and again to the apostles shortly after this, there was some confusion about the nature of His physical self. Initially some thought He was a ghost, but He proved to them He was not merely spiritual, but also physical. He was both body and spirit as a man should be. Humans are incomplete without both (and this is why death is an unnatural state for humans). Nevertheless, there were differences between Christ the man and Christ the resurrected man. 

As the resurrected Christ, Jesus was able to prevent people from recognizing Him until He desired to be known. He was able to pass through locked doors and just 'appear'. We know however, that He was a physical being. It was possible to touch Him. The wounds from His execution were apparent. He was able to eat and to drink and speak. It was as though He was existing on another plain of reality, but was still able to enter our reality. Truly a miracle man.

Will our resurrection bodies be like His? I believe so. 1 John 3:2 says this,
 
² Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

This is my hope, to be like Jesus, both spiritually and physically.  

Thank you Lord for the hope. Thank you for your willingness to come here and struggle with us and offer your life to save us. You have marked us with your Blood and your Word. You have joined your Spirit with our spirit. You have made us Yours for all time. I praise your precious name for this kindness and grace. You are Mighty God and Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the One True God and I do not know where I would be without you...wait...yes I do. Thank You for saving me from that fate. Praise and honor and glory to you Lord. In Your name I pray...Amen

Random Notes

This will probably be all over the place today, so bear with me. First of all, my friend Steve the preacher, put out an excellent sermon on the nature of righteousness. It managed to move even me, the tower of ice and self righteousness, to tears, so you know it was good. Steve is pictured below waiting for a deer to walk by.




I also wanted to add a comment to my Genesis 3 post.  When I teach, I always like to ask the class how they would react if they were in the situations we are studying. So I asked myself this morning, If I were Adam, would I have fared any better during the whole temptation process?

The short answer is no, but the whole scenario would also have gone down differently. If I had been Adam, I think that God and I would have had a long discussion immediately about this tree. I would have asked Him why he even put it there. I would have asked Him if He was setting me up to fail. I would have said, why the challenge? Do you not trust me? And I think all of this would have occurred long before Eve came along. Shortly after the discussion, I'm sure I would have ceased to exist and God would have started over if you know what I mean. So I guess it's good I was not there.

Please pray for my friend Nina. She is having medical issues. The prognosis is good, but it never hurts to pray about these things.

It was good to talk to my special friend, Eric on Saturday. He is the closest thing I have had to an accountability partner in my life besides Jesus. Eric, I appreciate the things you have to say to me. You are not as smart as Jesus, just so you know, but you make great back up. :^)))

Dad broke a tooth yesterday. He goes to the dentist tomorrow.     

I Am A Goat

In biblical terms, a goat is not a good thing to be. They are self willed and sometimes a real pain in the shepherd's backside, but they can serve a purpose in the herd if they make peace with the shepherd. I made peace with the Chief Shepherd some time ago, and looking back on it now, I think my training may end up being successful despite early prognostications to the contrary. I am still happily a goat and I still have a will of my own. I just struggle to keep it in alignment if you know what I mean.

If this mood continues, then tomorrow should be interesting. Look out Sunday School class. The Old Goat is coming.

Follow me. Never mind the associate shepherds. They think they know where they are going. We will have to show them other avenues of pasturage. Bring some sheep. They are clueless, but there is strength in numbers. We can make them aware. Making a sheep look up is fun. Forcing the shepherds to work is even more fun.

See you in the pasture.

The Passover

The Passover feast is a celebration of the time when God, by His Mighty Hand, forcibly removed His people, the nation of Israel, from involuntary servitude in Egypt. He eventually brought them into their own land and settled them there, but they were commanded to remember that Day annually when God acted on their behalf and saved them from bondage and servitude in Egypt.

The Passover celebration took prep time but it always ended with the eating of a meal that was symbolic of their hasty departure from the land of Egypt. At the first Passover, young lambs were slaughtered for the feast. The blood of these lambs was painted on the doorposts and lentils of all the houses where the Hebrew people lived. God was about to judge Egypt with the death of all her first born and the Destroyer (angel of death) would recognize the Hebrew houses by that blood and pass over it, saving it's first born inhabitants from God's wrath that was being poured out upon this nation. God did this for the Hebrew people because of the promises He had made to their ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He is a God that keeps His promises and He is also a gracious, forgiving God to those He calls. And such was the occasion on the first Passover.

The people roasted the slaughtered lambs, ate it with bitter herbs and unleavened bread and drank some wine. The lamb provided a mark that set them a part with it's blood. The bitter herbs reminded them of their bitter bondage in Egypt. And the unleavened bread was the bread of haste. There was no time for a nice yeasty loaf. In the morning the Lord would call and they would have to depart quickly. It was a time of thanksgiving and it was a time of sadness. Many died in Egypt on that night. If the blood of the lamb was not on your doors and lentils, your firstborn would perish in God's judgement. But it also represented a new day for God's people.

Fast forward now almost 1500 years to Passover in Jerusalem. Jesus and His disciples have taken to the upper room. They are in the midst of the meal. Jesus knows His time is short. He has been trying to reveal as much as He can to his disciples so they will be prepared for the events that are about to unfold. Here is how it went down.

Luke 22:14-23

¹⁴ When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. ¹⁵ And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. ¹⁶ For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”
¹⁷ After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, “Take this and divide it among you. ¹⁸ For I tell you I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.”
¹⁹ And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”
²⁰ In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.^{[a] 21} But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. ²² The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!” ²³ They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.

At the beginning of Jesus' ministry, John the Baptist announced Jesus as "the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world". After three years of teaching and preaching, Jesus was now ready to become that lamb in the fullest sense. He was betrayed by one of His own, He was tried by the authorities, both Jewish and Gentile. And he was finally executed by the state. Prior to those events though, Jesus transformed the meaning of the elements of the Passover. The unleavened bread would represent His body and the fruit of the vine would represents His blood. From this point on, when His disciples ate this meal, they were to remember Him and offer thanksgiving for the grace and love of God that was made available to all humanity by His selfless act.

Brethren, Christ is our Passover lamb. It is His blood that is painted on the door posts and lentils of our hearts. It is His mark; a sign to His Father, that when judgement comes, He will pass over us. We will be saved by the blood of Christ and the grace and love of the Living God.

It is a powerful thing. He brings us out of the land of sin and selfishness and makes us new. We are His new nation as promised; a people called by His name. We are His light in a dark world.

In today's church, we celebrate what Christ did for us when we take communion. It is not the Passover meal of the Jews, but is to be a time of remembrance and thanksgiving. It is not to be a time of repentance or petition for forgiveness; the time for that was before you approached His table.

It is to be a time of celebration! The creator God of the universe loved us so much that He saved us in spite of our choices. We are forgiven. We are free. We will live and reign with Him forever. The cost was high, but Jesus turned our mourning to joy. We no longer need to fear the wrath of God.

We are saved. Remember that when you take the cup and the bread on Sunday. Praise God for His grace.

Frustrating People

Ya, I know. It's funny. I have been a frustrating person (turns out I'm pretty good at it) and I have also had to deal with people that frustrate me to no end. So I have experience at both ends of that spectrum.

For myself, I think I am an acquired taste. Some try and try, but they just can't find a way to be able to warm up to me. It's mostly because I do not cooperate. I do not trust easily and if I sense any trace in you of the manipulator or user, you just ain't gettin in my head. Sorry. But I am also very set in everything I do and that gets on peoples nerves. I refer to it as my 'Aspergers like demeanor'. I have purpose and intention. I do not need your interference. Just stand back as the feces hit the oscillating wind device.

The people that frustrate me are the ones that always want to help me or involve me in their plans or find a place for me in their big picture. Problem is that I do not usually want to play. Please do not try to make me play. You want to be my friend? Then let me be. Do not frustrate me. I have work to do.

Ya, but what about growth and working together and being involved with each other?

What about it? Why do things always have to be a group activity? Are you so unsuccessful on your own that you need me? Come on. I'm sorry, but a bunch of people pooling their ignorance on a subject does not promote growth.

There is much to be said for the solitary life. Frustrating huh?   

Work, A Job, An Occupation, A Career or A Calling

Which one of those do you have? I pretty much just have a job. It could have been a career had I chosen the path ever upward in the pyramid of authority, but I did not. I always thought it required too much personal compromise. This groundhog has principles. One of them is not to be a corporate shill for the sake of advancement and wealth.

I may have had a calling or callings at one time, but I managed to successfully ignore them. A calling is work that you have a potential to really be good at. It usually involves work that is not necessarily profitable, but serves the greater purpose of humanity or God or even self fulfillment. Callings are enjoyable for the most part, even though drudgery may be involved. People that have a calling to do a specific thing cannot see their way clear to do anything else. They fail at other things because other things do not work for them. There is no fulfillment or joy in the success at other things.

The callings that I denied in my life are at least two. If I had been on top of it when I was younger, I might have been able to write for a living. I also might have been able to teach. If the subject is right, you cannot shut me up about it. I do a bit of both of these in my job. I also teach at church, but it's far from enough to make me consider a switch at this late age which is 57. I dabble.

I know at least a couple of people that have callings and practice them. Their particular callings are frustrating to them. They both love it and hate it and consider walking away frequently. My advice to them is, do not do it. A calling is a sort of gift. For my money, it's a gift from God. You should not walk away from it, especially if the pull is strong despite the dissatisfaction. Serving a purpose greater than yourself, whether it be God or people, is not only noble, it is a privilege. Take hold of it and make it your own as best you can and let God sort out the details. He just needs you to do whatever it is. So what if you never see any fruit from it? It does not mean it is not serving the intended purpose.

Perseverance is the key. Think about Moses. Think about the first generations of Americans. Think about the work Paul did to keep the Church growing in it's infancy.

I will leave you with this:

Colossians 3:15-17  


¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
 

People Are Watching

Most of my life I have endeavored to keep my personal issues personal. Despite pressures of life, I have tried not to wear my troubles on my sleeve and burden others with my difficulties.

Recently however, I have had the need to talk about these things and I have used this blog for that purpose. To be sure, my blogging has not been limited to my personal issues, but by in large, what I am finding is that my blog posts with the personal stuff get the most hits.

Why do people like to hear about the suffering of others? Is it the same thing that makes people slow down at car accidents? Or is it that we do not like to see anyone escape this worldly existence unscathed? 

I think it's - plain and simple - exhibitionism. If you leave the windows of your life open, people will look. Some want to help. Others need a good laugh. And still others just want to feel relief that it is not them enduring those circumstances.

We humans are a fine bunch.

Genesis 3 - Why Do We Always Believe the Lie?

Consider this; the most important chapter in the Bible.

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

² The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, ³ but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
⁴ “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Interesting. Who is this serpent? Moses tells us that he is more crafty than any of the animals God created. I am thinking that it is a cunning creature that has been possessed by a dark, malignant spirit that stands constantly in opposition to the Lord God and tries to destroy everything He creates. This spirit is none other than the adversary himself, Satan, Lucifer and Belial. This serpent is the material face of evil in a garden that is otherwise perfect.

What is the first thing this serpent does? He speaks to the woman (who has not yet been named Eve). His first words to her are that her creator is a liar. He questions what God has told them about eating from the trees of the garden. Eve immediately spills what she has learned, probably from her husband, that they must not eat from the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then the serpent lays out the lie in full. Eating the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden will not cause death and will give godlike qualities.

This is the point where it would have been good for Adam to speak up or barring that, they both could have called on God to settle the issue. What happened though was that Adam just stood there while Eve considered the statements of this wise reptile and looked over this fruit. This forbidden fruit looked delicious. It was beautiful  and it might, it just might impart knowledge. What is wrong with that? Why would God want us to remain uninformed and simple? Why is He holding out on us? What is He afraid of? So she ate and she also shared with her husband. Neither one of them questioned the information they received. They simply believed it. 

Adam and Eve had one rule, one command given them by God to obey, but they could not do it. They did not think to discuss the issue with Him. They simply did what they wanted to do and ignored their creator.

Is this not what we have all been doing in some form since that time? I truly believe that most sins are committed in full knowledge of the fact that they are wrong. We do them, commit them, because we want too. We deliberately defy God.

The fact is that Adam and Eve already knew the difference between good and evil. God had told them about the tree and it's fruit. He said 'do not eat'. They knew eating the fruit of the tree was wrong. But they did it anyway. They knew what was and was not God's will. They knew the difference. They had knowledge of good and evil.

What they did not understand was the consequences of sin; fear of punishment and guilt.

⁸ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
¹⁰ He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
¹¹ And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
¹² The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Now there's a smart idea. Hide. Can you hide from God? No. Apparently the fruit was not as effective as promised. And when God finally catches up to them - finds them - they start the blame game. Adam blames God for giving him Eve. Eve blames the serpent and the serpent...well, he says nothing, but is most likely laughing quietly to himself and thinking, "game on". No one takes responsibility. No one tries to repent or begs for mercy. There is just a lot of stone faced buck passing. Denial is the rule of the day.

So in the face of all this hard heartedness, God does the only thing He can do. He renders judgement.

¹⁴ So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,

“Cursed are you above all livestock
    and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
    and you will eat dust
    all the days of your life.
¹⁵ And I will put enmity
    between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring^[a] and hers;
he will crush^[b] your head,
    and you will strike his heel.”

¹⁶ To the woman he said,

“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
    with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
    and he will rule over you.”

¹⁷ To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’

“Cursed is the ground because of you;
    through painful toil you will eat food from it
    all the days of your life.
¹⁸ It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
    and you will eat the plants of the field.
¹⁹ By the sweat of your brow
    you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
    since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
    and to dust you will return.”

²⁰ Adam^[c] named his wife Eve,^[d] because she would become the mother of all the living.

²¹ The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. ²² And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” ²³ So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. ²⁴ After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side^[e] of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

God curses the serpent, the woman and the man. They all receive punishment and ultimately a death sentence for their unrepentant disobedience. But in the midst of this judgement, there is a twinkle of hope. God offers it as a future solution to the problems caused by the serpent and the defiance of God by His creations. It's in verse 15.

¹⁵ And I will put enmity
    between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring^[a] and hers;
he will crush^[b] your head,
    and you will strike his heel.”

The day will come when the progeny of the woman will yield the One that will crush the serpent (the adversary, Satan, Lucifer). In that day, the evil events of Genesis 3 will be undone and God's enemies will be put in submission, and those that wish to join with God for eternity will be able to approach Him. This progeny is Jesus and the time is now. He can help you get right with God. Right now, you stand before Him naked. Your sin is exposed and it cries out from the earth to Him demanding His justice. Wouldn't it be nice to avoid that justice? Jesus can make it happen.

Beyond that, I said in the previous blog post that this was the most important chapter in the Bible. I still believe that.

If the events of Genesis 3 had not happened, none of the rest of what happens in the Bible would have been relevant. Genesis 3 is the pivot point for the human race. Jesus is the One that returns the balance to our favor.      

Genesis 3

In the 19th century, certain Bible scholars in Europe tried to take the Bible apart and treat it like any other collection of ancient literature. This is not unusual. It has been happening for centuries, but these men did their best to destroy the central message of the Scriptures as they took it apart. It started in Germany and moved west. The men became what has been called the "School of Higher Criticism" even though they were not all in one place or one university.

They could not accept, for instance, that Moses wrote or at least dictated the first five books of the Old Testament, aka, the Torah or Pentateuch for us Christians. They chopped up those books and credited the different parts to different writers according to the way they referred to God. It's a ridiculous idea on it's face because there are whole chapters and even single verses where different names for God are used. This did not stop them however.

They also decided that the first eleven chapters of Genesis should be relegated to myth; stories that were passed down orally through the ages that are not literally true, but are symbolic of what really happened in those times. They had many reasons for this. One of them was that these stories are similar to stories told or recorded in the ancient history of cultures all over the world. To me, this is a testimony to the truth of it rather than any alleged myth status of these chapters. But none of this is really the point.

My personal opinion is that the most important chapter in the Bible is Genesis 3. Yes...the most important.

It records the fall of humanity from God's grace and the fall of God's creation with them. Without Genesis 3, the entire concept of humanity's need for God's redemption falls to the ground. If those events did not happen, then there is no need for all the other stuff in the Bible. It becomes an irrelevant record of the ancient history of the Jews and nothing more. It renders Jesus to the status of a slightly mad prophet with delusions of grandeur. It makes Paul and the Apostles savvy street preachers;  manipulators that work crowds for their own purposes and not the salvation that can only come from God.

In short, the 'plan' to discredit the biblical record and show it as false or manufactured or ancient myth worked to a certain extent. Western Christian culture no longer had to respect the Bible as the inspired Word of God if they chose not to. It became entirely acceptable to reject it's authority and view it as a collection ancient stories. As you might expect, the intelligentsia of the time and even now laugh at the veracity of the Scriptures. Others continued on in their faith and have formed churches, schools and colleges dedicated to the preservation and integrity of the Bible and the one true faith.

Those of us that believe in the inspiration of the Scriptures, hold fast to a literal interpretation of the events of Genesis 3. They are central to both orthodox Judaism and evangelical Christianity.

The message of that chapter is this. We need God and His saving grace because we make bad choices without Him in our lives and many times we make bad choices when He is right there with us.

There have been and are secret societies throughout history who also call themselves Christian that believe what happened in the Garden of Eden was the great turning point for humanity and that, in fact, we did become like God as the serpent suggested to Eve. We are allegedly on the rode to replacing God with ourselves. These people were the Gnostics of old that later became the Cathars, the Templars, the Rosicrucians, the Illuminati and the Masons. All of these groups trace their philosophical history back to Nimrod, a post deluge descendant of Noah and also Solomon, the third King of Israel. And it's my personal opinion that Solomon is symbolic Nimrod in these secret societies.

These people are delusional along with the 19th century scholars that try to disarm the Scripture of all its salvific power. All of these people have one common purpose. They do not want to surrender to the power of the living God and repent. Their god is themselves and their only interest is to create their own morality and live in their own reality. They, like Adam and Eve before them, are choosing to deny the will of God and believe the lies of the adversary. This is why Paul says in Romans 1 that God turned them over to their own desires for their own destruction. In my next post, I will write a bit about my view of Genesis 3.

I Think This Is Me

From  http://www.dudeimanaspie.com/2009/11/dude-im-aspie.html

Weirdness With the Blog

I have mentioned in the past that I get reports on sources that check out TDGH. I know what operating systems and internet browsers are used to access the blog and I also know what country in the world the blog is accessed from. Other than the United States, the countries that most often come to TDGH are Norway and Russia. I am not sure what that's about, but it's nice to have them stop by. Recently there has been an uptick in visits from browsers in the Ukraine.

I also had another Linux attack the other day. I got a spike of 70 hits all at once. This has to be a governmental or corporate entity since no one that I know of has a Linux operating system on their device. Why these entities would bother with TDGH is a mystery to me. It does tell me that all personal and public speech is being monitored by these entities. I suppose they have their reasons and I find myself wondering how long it will be before it will become impossible to find TDGH in a GOOGLE search, because one of these entities does not like what I may have to say. It worries me that free speech incites this kind of reaction in high places. I am small potatoes. But even so, they seem to be running a scan regularly. Key words set them off. I could list them for you and get a blog visit again this week. Next time this happens, I think I will.     

My Talent

I really don't have one. Ya, I know. Some of you have heard me teach. I am moderately skilled at that. I am no Plato or Paul, but I do all right. I do not consider it a gift. It is something I have sharpened with practice and if I am not studied or prepared the result can be disastrous. I am not a natural teacher. It's just not who I am. People sometimes think that because you know stuff, you should be able to help someone or teach. Not true.

What is within my skill set is to deliver a lesson from scripture and be as prepared as possible to field questions that may come up. What I like to do is ask questions and guide people to the correct answers. My method is a modified Socratic method. It works for the group I teach at church. Another thing that makes me successful at teaching this class is that everyone in my class has known me for decades. If I did not have that advantage, I probably would have failed as a teacher some time ago. These people tolerate me because they know me and love me and I am very grateful for that advantage. They are also patient with me and more than willing to correct their teacher when they think he is wrong. Another reason why I love these people. They are gentle, but firm. Not easily mislead.

I was asked today if I would advise someone on a particular subject. That is not really something I do. I am not a tutor or mentor. My personality quirks alone would be enough to mess someone up unless they really understood me and knew I did not intend harm.

I thought about this for a while and actually considered doing it and then said no. I know who this person is. She has attended my class in the past with her father. I did not figure that out until just now, but I believe that's true. She will do just fine without me. She has a strong faith and a desire to make that faith work. She does not need the advice of this old codger whose real life experience is very limited.

So I think I will stick to my little group at 0800 and teach them until we are all dead and then move on to the next stage. My skill set is limited. The time I have left is limited. I have enough responsibilities to keep me busy until that time is up. My usefulness to the body ends there. I haven't got anything else to give that is worth anyone's time. But thanks for asking.

Love Your neighbor...The Post Script

I thought it might be useful, if not instructive, to revisit the second greatest commandment which is "Love your neighbor as yourself". This commandment laid down by Jesus in the gospel of Matthew 22:40 is also the second half of a commandment of God in Leviticus 19:18. The full verse in context reads like this, "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as your self. I am the Lord."

When Jesus said what He said in Matthew, was He changing the intent of the command from Leviticus or was He merely expanding it and in the broader context of the Christian faith and the Church, what does it really mean?

It's obvious to me that the Leviticus passage is intended to apply to the Hebrew people of Israel and how they related to each other on a daily basis. The intention is that instead of trying to avenge every wrong committed against you; you should leave room for a bit of forgiveness and grace. You see to your neighbor's needs as they arise and you treat them in the same way you would like to be treated in all of life's situations.

Does this mean that you actually have to like your neighbor or spend time with them beyond what is needed to achieve love's purpose? I don't really think so. As a matter of fact, it might mean just the opposite. It might mean giving them their space or leaving them alone or simply making yourself available if there is a need. The best neighbors are considerate of all needs. They are not always up in your bidniss as the expression goes.

I do not think that it was Jesus' intention to change this meaning. I do believe He intended to expand it beyond just the Jewish people however, because he knew the age of the gentile church was coming.

So how does this second greatest commandment apply in the church age. The book of Acts tells us a lot about how the Church lived and existed early on. What we see there almost communal living. Acts 2:42-47 indicates that the new church members held everything in common, they shared everything, they ate together and they sold their possessions as needed to give the proceeds to those in need.

The question is, were they applying the principles of the second greatest commandment or was their behavior merely an act of survival? I am voting for survival here. The early church was persecuted and it was mostly poor Jewish and Greek Jewish people. There were many widows that were uncared for. They were seeing to each others needs in very simple and unique ways. They did these things because they had to, otherwise the whole of it would have fallen apart. To be sure, they were loving their neighbors through these actions and it was needed in that environment, but their survival also depended on it.

And that brings me to today. Should the Church be living in the same fashion today as the early church did? Do we need to be living communally and sharing everything? Is that degree of togetherness really necessary here in North America?

As the Church, we have many responsibilities to each other and we should be helping each other as needed, treating each other as we would like to be treated, but I reject the idea that we need to be in each others houses all the time, eating together and being together. As a wise Chinese philosopher once said, "company, like fish, begins to stink after three days." Even the early church evolved to the point that they were meeting once a week.

There is a strain of thought in the church today that suggests, if your church is not the church of Acts 2, then it's not New Testament. I reject this categorically. Nothing could be further from the truth (in my opinion). If members of your church are calling you in the middle of the week and wanting to come over to your house to "pray" and you are not up to house guests because you have worked all day, you should not have to concede to their self invitation. If, on the other hand, they are calling you because they want you to participate in helping someone from church with a meal or a place to stay, that's entirely different and well within the realm of the second greatest command. And so is taking them out to eat and putting them up in a hotel, if you are not up to house guests.

After a hard day at work, I want to be alone. I want to relax and unwind. I do not want to entertain Christians that for whatever the reason cannot not stand to be alone. If you need my help in some tangible way, I will try to help within the scope of my financial ability and my skill set, but just because we are all part of the same Body, it does not mean you can invite yourself over or pressure me into inviting you. If I want you to come over, I will ask.  And for the record...it's OK to say 'no' when I do. It doesn't mean I don't love you. It does mean I want you to respect the boundaries I have in place...and I will respect yours...I am treating you as I would want you to treat me. Please love me enough to do the same.       

Personal Notes

I'm sure you are just about fed up with my personal issues. I know that I am.  Even so, I feel the need to talk about them. If this is too much of a burden, you can turn back now. It is not too late to seek a place of safety.

Yesterday, I think I was as tired as I have ever been at any one time in my life. I reached full zombification around 1930. At that point, I was on full automatic, not being really sure what I was doing or if I was doing it right. I was at work from 0600 until about 2140. There were a few breaks in there that amounted to about an hour for the day, but it was tiring nevertheless.

I was customer service. I was sales. I was the manager and I was the data entry clerk. I did it all. It is amazing what I know how to do at work and how long that I can stand to be there. I keep telling myself how much I hate it, but would I really spend that much time there if I hated it? I wonder if maybe I am finding reasons to stay at work because I no longer want to go home? This is a possibility that probably requires some analysis. I also use work and my Dad to avoid spending time with people from church and other places. There are many activities at church that I could be involved in, but I am not, mostly because I detest all the interaction with people.

This is not to say that there is anything wrong with the folks from church. They are fine Christians and fine people. I like them, but I do not seem to want to get to know them in any significant way. I think it all goes back to my views on friendship and what it means to be someone's friend.

I detest the shallowness of most relationships in this day and age. The facebook friend mentality is a menace. People that barely know each other call themselves friends. For me, friendship takes time. It develops. You become invested in the person that you are friends with and you feel a sense of responsibility to them.

And that is where I always want to get off the boat. I don't want the responsibility that I believe comes with the relationship.

It's at that point that I begin to feel trapped. I do not want to deal with my friend's issues, mostly because I cannot deal with my own, and I just want to run away to a safe place to be alone.  I really do not want to burden potential friends with my baggage either which is considerable. I am kind of a burden and a liability as a friend myself.

I see this contradiction in my life between my principles and my behavior here and it does not seem to bother me all that much. If it did, I guess I might try to fix it. My point here is that I think work has become my hiding place. If I could not go to work, what would I do? The answer to that question is probably too scary to contemplate. If I quit my job, what would I do? It might be worth trying. What's the worse thing that could happen? It might kill me. Some people lose their sense of purpose when they quit work. Somehow, I do not think that would happen to me. I have always been able to entertain myself, with or without others. In the past, some of that entertainment has been destructive, but I do not think that would be the case now. It might be worth a try. I just have to find a way to make it work.

On my way to and from the grocery store today, I saw a lot of open, ice free water. Local ponds in subdivisions and on farms are open and waiting. I mention that because it prompted an ancient longing that used to hit me every spring. It is the need to go fishing. I have not been fishing in four years. Life has been getting in the way. I think this is the year I will break the drought. I need to go fishing. I miss the solitude of my lone fishing expeditions. I wish I could go to the Wapsipinicon River and fish below the dams at Central City and Anamosa. I miss those times. I also miss the fishing below the 3 in 1 dam on the Cedar River in Cedar Rapids. There was some fine smallmouth bass and walleye fishing in all three of those places.

And before you ask, let me advise you not to. I am sure you would be fine company, but I do not really want to go fishing with you whoever you may be. Fishing is a solitary thing for me. This is not to say that I always go alone. I have been fishing with many people including one very special former friend, but right now I need space. Granted, I require much more personal space than most, but it does not mean that I don't really need it. Thanks for thinking about asking though. It really is the thought that counts for me.

So, if I wasn't working, I could go fishing a lot. I could garden. I could do church stuff when I wanted to be with people and maybe if I wasn't at work all the time, I would want to be with people more than I do now. Who knows?

Then again, God might decide to recall me because I ceased to be useful. These unknowns make me hesitate, but what's the downside of going home to God? I suppose there are a lot of people there and that might be annoying, but my attitude might be different in Paradise. Who knows? I surely do not. 

Well, it's time to get ready for Sunday. I have an adult class to teach at church at 0800 in the morning. It's time to put the finishing touches on an unstudied lesson. This is the thing I enjoy most in my life right now. I love to teach my teach my class and, despite earlier comments, I enjoy the people, many of whom I have known all my life. We are a wide variety of white folks from different backgrounds, but we enjoy our study together and we enjoy worshiping together. I find myself wondering if they would really like me all that much if they really knew me, but that is a bridge better left uncrossed. They do not need to be burdened with my junk. I wish I wasn't. (:^))

I'm quite funny, don't you think?   

I stepped away for a bit to put a load of clothes in the dryer and that gave me just enough time to reconsider this post. There is a 'theme' here I think. I am sick of being responsible. The last time that happened (age 20 to 24), I spent 4 years living like the Devil's best friend. Let's hope it goes better this time around. If I ever live like that again, it will probably kill me. Strangely, I have never really felt the need to repent of that time in my life. Lord, I hope that does not bother you. I had more fun then, than a man ought to be allowed. I truly enjoyed it. I have very few regrets about it Lord other than the fact that I ignored you the whole time. Thanks for being patient through that time. I hope you are still patient. I may need it :^)

Like I said, I am just hilarious.

Conclusion

Oh stop. If you think that means I'm going away now, well you can just forget it.

As the post title indicates, I have arrived at a conclusion. Going to work makes my head hurt. It never used to do that. I used to like going to work. But I do not like it anymore. There are reasons for that which I could go on and on about, but now is not the time.

Yesterday when I arrived I was fine. As I sat here dealing with the daily issues, I gradually felt this dull ache creeping up the back of my head from my neck. After that, it went straight to the frontal lobe and throbbed for the remainder of the day. After my exit last night, I noticed on the drive home that my symptoms were disappearing. Leaving the work place was making me feel better. The headache was going away.

Now I suppose it could be environmental. We do work in close quarters in kind of a mini cube farm. Or it could be some pollutant in the air that I am unaware of. We are at an airport after all. And it could even be an issue with my neck. I do have a narrowing between the neck vertebrae and some arthritis. It's probably something an ergonomically correct chair could fix.

But the fact is that I am also sick of it. I really hate it. This is unfortunate since retirement is still a few years away. I need the health insurance until the nurturing hand of our government takes it over for me. Work has just become a stress inducing activity that I really no longer care about. Maybe I should just get out now before it kills me. There has to be a way to do that, maintain my healthcare insurance and move to something that will engage me in more positive ways.

I guess I can look for another job, but no one ever seems to want to hire a 50 something guy that knows a lot, but will be gone in a few years.

I do not know what the answer is. If I get it figured out, I will let you know. Right now I need some aspirin. I feel a headache coming on.

Intensity

I was emailing an old friend last night (very, very old) who was concerned about my current mental status. She thought that I might be depressed, because of the tone and topics of my blog. (And we are talking the clinical variety of depression here I think if I understand her correctly.) I will admit to having a tough time in November and December. Actually it was awful, but I think I'm pretty much over it. I probably should consider that I may have gotten used to it and that it has continued, but I don't think it's something you get used to really. I'm pretty good at knowing where my head is and I don't think it's there anymore.

What I do think is that I have become more intense since January. I am not sure why this is. I just cannot seem to quiet my mind. It's like there is a fire in my head. I need to write things down. I have been using this blog for that purpose. Surprisingly, I always feel much better after offloading my excess thoughts to the internet. I'm not sure anyone would want to hear or read my excess thoughts, but strangely, I do not care. If you don't like it, don't read it. It's basically therapy for me anyway. That's why I closed the comments section. I would put it back if I thought someone would use it, but there appears to be a lack of interest there. No one (except the usual suspect) will engage. I put it down to fear. Taking issue with me is a fairly useless endeavor for the most part. I guess that's why I  can't even get a good troll. (:^0

If I really am mentally ill, I suppose you would call all this typing I do 'note taking behavior'. It could be a symptom of schizophrenia. Maybe I will look into lithium treatments or electro-convulsive therapy. That should drive every last thought right out of my head and then I can be "normal" like everyone else. Now that would be totally boring.

I am so funny...

Intuitions

I am sometimes 'intuitive'. It is usually based on physical evidence of some sort and I am sometimes wrong in my intuitions, but for the most part my intuitions tend to be accurate. I have made some spectacular errors. I once completely misinterpreted someone's body language and manner of speech and ended up apologizing. I did it in email. Even though I knew I was wrong, I did not want to talk to him, so I sent an email apology. I do not know if he ever received it or forgave me because he never responded. It's entirely possible he did not really want to talk to me either, which is fine and it kind of makes me laugh now. Not sure why.

The most baffling of my intuitions though are the ones for which I have no physical evidence. For example, once during prayer and while praying for the health of my parents, I received an insight, almost a voice in my head, that it would become my job to take care of my Dad. This was 5 years before my Mom died. On another occasion, I was drifting between sleep and wakefulness and this intuition came more as a thought that I should already know. It was very sobering as the full brunt of it hit my frontal lobe. Suddenly I knew that in only a very short time after my Dad passes, I will die. As before, there was no indication of when those events would come to pass, but you can bet that I am doing my best to keep Dad healthy and motating! The process is getting more and more difficult though as time goes on. This is the way of all life.

If events do not unfold this way, I am, of course, good with that. But if they do, be sure to tell everyone I predicted it. I suppose I could check out first. This would create some problems for Dad I think. If the Lord does it that way, I hope he will have willing people on hand to take charge of the situation. What am I saying? I have control freaks on both sides of the family that would be more than willing to step in. What am I worried about? Heaven awaits either way for both of us. Good times are ahead.   

The Sun, The Moon and the Spring

 


On March 20th, Northern Europe will enjoy a three way celestial event that has not happened in 100,000 years, which to my mind means, it has never happened before. There will be a total eclipse, a super moon and the vernal equinox all on the same day. It should be a spectacular day astronomically speaking.

I'm sure that there will be crowds of would be Druids at Stonehenge and other pagan sites and in other places there will be dispensationalist and premillennial Christians hunkered down in anticipation of the parousia.  

Me? I will be at work. I don't think anything other than a spectacular light show will be underway and since I am in North America, I won't get to see the eclipse, except on TV. Hope to sleep through the super moon too.

It's common thought among many Christians that these are signs in the heavens that portend God's coming judgement or some other major historical event. While I'm good with that if it's what you want to believe, there is nothing I can do about the cosmic activities of God except wait. Since waiting is unproductive, I think I'll work or sleep or eat or something. If He makes an appearance, I will be ready and if He does not, I will talk to Him the next morning.

The older I get, the more useless I think the study of eschatology is. It is very interesting, but so is the study of UFO's. My philosophy at present is that I am saved, I am ready, let 'er rip if you like. Otherwise, I think I'll go fishing. It's gonna be Spring ya know.

Lord, I hope what I just wrote does not offend you. I just like the element of surprise. Personally, I can't wait to see your smiling face, but it's going to be a terrible day for many people and I would just as soon you give them every chance possible to come to you in faith. I can wait. Death is not that far off for me. I can wait. Lord, it's good to be in Your family even when you're away. See you soon. Love you.

Ghog