STRATEGIES FOR
LIVING WITH AN ALZHEIMER’S VICTIM:
Being reasonable,
rational, and logical DOES NOT WORK!!! Neither does arguing, pleading or
manipulating, Keep communication simple and direct.
They don’t have to
be grounded in reality. There’s no need to re-live their pain.
Distraction works.
We don’t know what
they can or cannot do; all we can do is guess at their abilities. We can
let them try, but must be alert for frustration, agitation and anger.
Making deals
doesn’t work. THEY FORGET. Just do what needs to be done.
TELL, DON’T
ASK! All that choices do is confuse and agitate them.
We can’t do it all
by ourselves. It’s OK to ask for and receive help and support.
WE’RE NOT
PERFECT. Forgiving ourselves and them makes life much more serene.
Separate the PERSON
from the DISEASE! Be grateful for the good times; learn from the bad.
Therapeutic lying
may be necessary. It can prevent much stress.
Doctors don’t see
the whole picture. We have to tell it like it is. Then, they may
also have to lie.
REQUESTS FROM
AN ALZHEIMER’S PATIENT:
BE PATIENT
WITH ME: Remember I’m the helpless victim of an organic brain disease
which is out of my control.
TALK TO
ME: Even though I can’t always answer you, I can hear your voice, and
sometimes I can comprehend your words.
BE KIND TO
ME: For each day of my life’s a long and desperate struggle. Your
kindness may be the most special and important part of my day.
CONSIDER MY
FEELINGS: They are very much alive within me.
TREAT ME WITH
HUMAN DIGINITY AND RESPECT: As I’d treat you if you were the victim.
REMEMBER MY
PAST: For I was once a healthy, vibrant person full of life, love, and
laughter; with abilities and intelligence.
REMEMBER MY
PRESENT: I’m a loving person, a spouse, a parent, a grandparent, a relative,
or a dear friend. I very much miss my family, friends and home as I knew
them.
REMEMBER MY
FUTURE: Though it may seem bleak to you, I’m always filled with hope for
tomorrow.
PRAY FOR
ME: For I’m a person who lingers in the mist that drifts between time and
eternity. Your presence may do more for me than any other outreach or
compassion you could extend to me.
SMILE AND
HOLD MY HANDS: This gives me a feeling of well-being. Never
underestimate the power of a touch or a smile; for they pass on energy from
your heart to mine.
LOVE
ME: And the gift of love you give will be a blessing which fill both our
lives with light forever.
