Monday, December 28, 2015

Reflections On a Snowstorm, Ditch Babies and Things That Will Kill You

We had a snowstorm today. It was snowing when I left for work this morning at 05:30 and it was still snowing when I left for home at 1800. I'm not sure how much we got but some of it was grainy ice pellets, fine as beach sand. It was hitting the metal roof at work and it sounded like a sandstorm. The nasty weather was good for one thing though. Customers either stayed home or closed early today. The result was that I got home earlier than anticipated. I suppose I will pay for it tomorrow.

The mayhem on the bypass was minimal. I only saw 6 ditch babies tonight as opposed to 16 during the last snow blitz prior to Thanksgiving. That must have been training day. If you are unfamiliar with the term "ditch baby", I am not talking about a Flemish pastry. That would be a "dutch baby". What I am talking about are those who do not know how to drive properly in winter weather conditions and put their vehicles into the medians and ditches of highways and roads and then cry about it.  For a better pictorial explanation, please see below. This was a particularly talented ditch baby.

 When I got home, the driveway was clogged with fresh ice snow. I was imagining it freezing solid over night and becoming impossible to move, so I broke out the snow blower and shifted the snow. I have a long driveway and a small snow blower so it took me about an hour and 20 minutes to giterdun. I briefly toyed with the idea of waiting for my cousin Joe to come and plow me out in the morning, but I kept picturing Dad wandering out into the driveway in the middle of the night in pursuit of the people on television and then falling down in the snow on the driveway. That thought and the thought of staying inside and listening to him while he watches the cleft palate kids infomercial was enough to propel me out into the cold to blow snow in the dark. Such is my life.

Once the driveway was blown, I came back in and fixed dinner. Dad had Stouffer's Mac and Cheese and I had Hot Links. Johnston's All Beef Hot Links are one of my favorite foods. I think they will probably kill me, but what a way to go. I prepare 4 of them in the microwave. They cook for 3 minutes and 30 seconds. I lay out 4 low carb Aztec tortilla on a paper towel. I lay a thin slice of Kraft habenero pepper cheese on each tortilla. Then I roll up a hot link in each one. Spicy, juicy, chewy, delicious. What else can I say? I love them. It's no wonder I have cholesterol poisoning. Then I chase it with some rainbow sherbet.  Stop laughing Eric. I love rainbow sherbet.

I think I need to go to bed now. Back to work at 0600 again tomorrow. Could be an interesting day.