Bad Joke Friday

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it
above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?” he yelled forcefully.
No one answered.
“All right, I’m going to have another beer, and if my horse isn’t back
outside by the time I finish, I’m going to do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t
want to have to do what I dun in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another
beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post.
He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of
the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed
to break wind. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of
the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I remembered I was listening to my iPod.

One day, a man notices that his next door neighbor is erecting a tightrope in the backyard. The neighbor goes out to practice every day. He uses balancing bars, carries weights, and even pedals a unicycle across.
Then he starts focusing his practice on the tightrope with a wheel barrow. Every day, he puts more and more weight in the wheel barrow and goes back and forth on the tight rope.
One day, the man chats with his neighbor. “I’ve been watching you practicing on the tightrope for weeks now, and have to say, you’re amazing. But, what’s it all for?” the neighbor asks.
“I’m glad you’ve noticed. As a matter of fact, tomorrow, I’m going to cross over Niagra Falls on my tightrope. Why don’t you come out and see?” the man replies.
The next day, the neighbor is there watching the man get ready for his big show.
“Do you believe I can make it?”
“Oh yes, I’ve seen you practice. You can do it – easy!”
“Great – get in the wheel barrow.”

Last Sunday in Flathead County

April 22 was another rough day in Flathead County. Per the Flathead Beacon Police Blotter:

Injured Duck

Flathead County Sheriff's and Kalispell Police Reports

By Christie Burns, 04-26-12

Sunday 4/22

10:05 a.m. A woman on Parliament Drive reported that someone egged her vehicle. Additionally, she stated that her friend called her a mean name and is most likely the perpetrator.

11:46 a.m. A resident on Fourth Avenue West reported that the screen has been removed from their basement window twice in the past two weeks.

11:51 a.m. Someone found a cash register lying in a field off of Big Horn Drive.

12:00 p.m. Reportedly, a 15-year-old was kicked out of his Grandma’s house for the eighth time after threatening and frightening her.

12:37 p.m. A woman on Shady Lane reported that her ex-boyfriend attacked her with a shampoo bottle and hit her with his shoes.

1:18 p.m. Someone on Liberty Street complained that a stray black lab got into the garbage.

1:43 p.m. Reportedly, a man at a Kalispell park became combative after someone asked him to put his dog on a leash.

1:44 p.m. Reportedly, an injured duck was being picked on by other ducks at Woodland Park.

2:43 p.m. A Whitefish woman called 911 to report that a dog attacked her cat.

8:04 p.m. A Whitefish resident complained that the neighbor was blowing something up. She said her windows were shaking and thought it sounded as though he were using dynamite. Apparently, the neighbor was shooting his .22 rifle at exploding targets.

First Timothy 5:17-6:2 Elders, Accusations, Appointments and Slaverys

First Timothy 5:17-24 from the New International Version of the Bible:

The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, "Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain." Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that others may take warning.

I charge you in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism.

Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure.

Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because your of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

The sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgement ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them. In the same way, good deeds are obvious, and even those that are not cannot be hidden.

Commentary

So now Paul changes the subject from widows to church elders. He wants to be sure that both Timothy and the church are treating the church elders in the manner they deserve. The work of a church elder, if done well, is worth much. And those elders that teach and preach are invaluable to the spiritual health of the congregation.  Paul says they are worthy of double honor, implying both that a high respect and perhaps even a financial incentive are due. In support of this last item, Paul quotes Moses from Deuteronomy 25:4.

Paul then goes on to say that church elders should not be subject to unjust or false accusations. Only factual assertions brought by at least two or three witnesses should be considered. If the assertions are proven, then the elder must be rebuked publicly before the whole congregation as a warning to others.

Next Paul charges Timothy to keep to these guidelines he has set down, showing no sign of partiality. Just because an elder may be a close friend, he should be treated no differently than others among his peers. These rules were to apply to every elder without exception. To do less would make both Timothy and the church look bad.

Paul also advises Timothy not to be too quick in ordaining elders. It's important to know these men and their character, even when others sin by wanting to appoint unqualified people to the eldership. Timothy was to remain spiritually pure in this regard by appointing only qualified candidates.

Then, almost parenthetically, Paul adds that timothy should take care of his physical health as well as his spiritual purity. Water quality in those days was not always good. And it was obviously causing digestive problems (dysentery or some other intestinal ailment) for Timothy. For this reason, Paul advised that a bit of wine for medicinal purposes couldn't hurt. Though Timothy probably abstained for spiritual reasons, a sick pastor could not perform his duties adequately. A bit of wine might solve that problem.

Then, returning to the ordination issue, Paul suggests that careful observation of candidates for the eldership can yield good results. Sooner or later the character of the candidates for the eldership will reveal themselves. Both the good ones and the bad ones will ultimately reveal their character in their deeds.   

Questions

1. What does Paul mean when he says that the elders that run the church are worthy of double honor?
2. Should church elders be paid?
3. Who does the church pay in our time? Are they elders? Should they be?
4. In light of what Paul says regarding the financial care of the church leadership, do you think we properly reimburse our pastors and elders? Give reasons.
5. Verses 19 and 20 advise about accusations against elders and pastors. Do you think people in church leadership positions are more vulnerable to false accusation? Why do you think this is true or untrue?
6. Do you think elders and pastors that fall into serious sin and are removed from their office should ever be restored to their ministry?
7. Verse 21 and 22 advise Timothy not to show partiality in his treatment and appointment of elders and not to be hasty. What do you think are some bad reasons for choosing church leaders?
8. In verse 23 Paul tells Timothy to care for his physical health in addition to his spiritual purity. He advises a bit of wine for medicinal purposes. What do you think about those that say taking any kind of medicine demonstrates a lack of faith in God's power to heal?
9. In verses 24 and 25, Paul suggests to Timothy that by careful observation he can determine who is fit for the eldership and who is not. Ultimately no one's deeds can be hidden, be they good or bad. What types of subtle sins manifest themselves over time? What types of subtle good works manifest themselves over time?

First Timothy 6:1,2 from the New International Version of the Bible:

All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God's name and our teaching may not be slandered. Those who have believing masters are not to show less respect for them because they are brothers. Instead, they are to serve them even better, because those who benefit from their service are believers, and dear to them. These are the things you are to teach and urge on them.

Commentary

It's interesting that the issue of slavery in the Bible is always dealt with as the social norm that it was at the time. Slavery is not condemned, but neither is it encouraged. Rather, it's always about the slaves attitude toward his or her enslavement and the one who owns them.

We think in modern times how abhorrent the notion of slavery is to us and some wonder why Paul and the other apostles did not condemn it and rail against it's evils. But really, who are we to judge them on this issue? We live in a world where all of us are employed in one way or another so we can support ourselves and our loved ones. Those that are not employed, must seek out the kindness of other for sustenance. No matter how you look at it we are all dependent on others for our livelihoods. We are very much like the slaves of Paul's time. Sure, we can quit our jobs, but we would have to work for someone else if we wanted to live in the manner to which we became accustomed.

Paul's whole point is that if you are a slave, be the very best slave you can be and show the world how your Christian faith drives your desire to serve, even when you serve without choice.

We are to have the same attitude today.

Questions

1. Verse one speaks of what the attitude of Christian slaves was to be toward their masters. What kinds of slander might pagans have spoken against the church if they knew that Christian slaves were disrespectful or disobedient to their masters?
2. How does this apply to us? Do we have to deal with the slavery issue today? Does this advice to Christian slaves have application for us?

Bad Joke Friday

“Well,” snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.”
“Not me, Sarge!” the private replied. “Once I get out of the Army, I’m never going to stand in line again!”


Barack Obama was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town he was visiting had named a sandwich after him.
He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it.
“Mostly baloney,” said the proprietor.


A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her sick Grandpa.
When they are there, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room.
“Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly. “As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!”
“What?” said her Grandpa.
“Make a noise like a frog, because Grandma said as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney World.”


An eight-year-old boy says to his dad, “When I grow up, I want to be a musician.”
The dad replies, “Sorry – can’t have it both ways.”

First Timothy 5:1 - 16: Widows

From the New International Version of the Bible, First Timothy 5:1-8:

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers. older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Commentary

Most of chapter 5 consists of Paul's instructions to Timothy on how to deal with the membership of the church in Ephesus. The way an evangelist shepherds his church is very important, and because of Timothy's youth and relative inexperience, it was especially vital that he know how to work his congregation.

Paul outlines some very general guidelines in the first two verses. Older men were to be treated with respect. Strong rebukes would not be in order here. Mild exhortations toward righteousness would be better. Treat them like a father. Younger men were to be treated like brothers, implying that stronger rebukes may not be out of order here. As for older women - treat them as mothers - again with great respect and mild exhortation. And finally, younger women were to be treated like sisters, with only the best motives on Timothy's part. Inappropriate behavior toward the younger women might bring cause for accusation against Timothy. This had to be avoided.

Next, Paul addresses the "widow problem". He spends the bulk of the chapter on this issue. Since the Church's early days (Acts 6) in Jerusalem, the care of widows had been a main concern of the Church. In those days, women whose husbands had died and left them childless had few places to turn for help. If the widow was very old, she might not even be able to work. These women had a special need. Paul opens his advice on the "widow issue" by saying that these women who have no place else to go for help, deserve special recognition from the church. Implied in this statement is an obligation on the church to help deserving widows in any way they can - even financially.

But Paul does draw a line on when this kind of assistance should be given. If the widow has children or grandchildren in the church capable of taking care of them, the duty falls to the widow's family. The care of an aging, widowed mother should be a natural concern of the Christian family and it also pleases God. However, for the widows that are alone and have a genuine need, assistance should be provided, but even this is conditioned on the widow's behavior.  She must put her hope in God and be devoted to prayer continually.

Paul then tells Timothy to remind the congregation of their obligations toward family members, so that they can remain blameless in this regard. Everyone must provide for their own without exception to minimize the burden on the whole church. For those that refuse to care for family members in need, Paul has a veiled warning. He says these kind of people have denied the faith and that they are worse than unbelievers. He stops short of saying that they should be put out of the church.

Questions

1) In verses 1 and 2 Paul advises Timothy on how to deal with people of different age groups within the church. How does he say to treat them? What is the common theme here? What does it tell you about the nature of the church? See Matthew 12:46-49. What is Jesus saying here and how does it apply to family and church issues?
2) In verses 3-6 Paul said that widows with a genuine need should receive help from the church. Besides financial needs, what other ways can the church help needy widows and others?
3) Paul made it clear in verses 7 and 8 that Christians have an obligation to care for family members in need. Is it a violation of this command to put an aging parent in a nursing home?
4) Suppose you chaired a benevolence committee at your church and your group had $1000.00 to share with needy members of the congregation. Among those petitioning for help are:
          A single mom with 3 kids
          A two parent family on public assistance
          an older couple with large medical bills
          And a healthy college grad that quit his job so he could concentrate          
          his guitar lessons.
What kind of questions would you ask these people? How would you distribute the money?

First Timothy 5:9-16, from the New International Version:

No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgement on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help widows who are really in need.

Commentary

So now Paul gets more specific about the "widow issue" and he makes mention of a list. Apparently the Ephesian church had a list of widows to whom they provided assistance. Paul wanted to ensure that only widows with a genuine need were on this list so there was not an undue burden on the church. His first condition for this list was that the widow be at least 60 years old and that she was faithful to her husband while he lived and that she was known for her good works. Younger widows were to be excluded from this list for a number of reasons. His advice to them was that they should marry again and, if possible, have children, busying themselves with family work. This would help them avoid the distractions of the single life and enable them to focus on god and family rather than meddling in the affairs of others and becoming a burden on the church.

Questions

1) Paul put conditions on the charity that the church was to offer widows. They had to be 60 years or older. They had to have been faithful to their husbands. and they had to show evidence of their faith by their good works. Why does the church have to be selective about its benevolence?

2) Younger widows were not to be eligible for the widows list at the church in Ephesus because they still had the option to marry and were young enough to have children and care for a family. Why do you think Paul advise them to marry?

3) What happens when people that are capable of supporting themselves refuse to work and live off of the charity of others?

4) What do you think about the statement, "idleness is the devil's workshop"?

5) Paul said that the Christian women in the church should help the widows in their families so they would not be a burden on the church. What are some ways families can take burdens off the church today?

More Trouble in Flathead County

 

 

Flathead County Sheriff's and Kalispell Police Reports

By Christie Burns, 04-19-12

Monday 4/16

7:41 a.m. Two horses busted through a Caroline Road resident’s fence and stood on their property. They were rounded up and taken home.

7:52 a.m. Someone reported an intoxicated man, who at the time of the call was rummaging through a tackle box, might want to get in his vehicle and drive. He did and was arrested.

8:30 a.m. A parent on Smokey Bear Line reported that their son rode his bike to the end of the road yesterday and left it there. It is no longer there.

10:27 a.m. Two poodle-type dogs were abandoned on Airport Road.

11:22 a.m. Reportedly, a pit bull that lives in a camper at the old Wal-Mart bit someone.

4:41 p.m. A four-wheeler that was described as “small” was stolen from a Eid Lane location.

7:10 p.m. A man in Pleasant Valley claimed that an acquaintance of his refused to return his boom ladder.

8:36 p.m. Reportedly, someone was smoking meth as they drove their maroon Subaru through Evergreen.

11:10 p.m. A Bigfork man complained that his wife went crazy and threw things around the house. He decided he would go to a nearby bar and leave her alone for the night.

Bad Joke Friday...Late Night Edition

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted they head out together in search of her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick bush and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the husband, “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
“It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said.
“Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.”
Surprised, the visitor asked, “Was Joshua Hemingway also a writer?”
“Yes, indeed,” said his guide, “He wrote a check.”

Cannibals capture three men.
The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes.
Then they are each given a final request.
The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
His request is granted, and they poison him.
The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes.
Now it is the third man’s turn. He asks for a fork.
The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork.
As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, “To hell with your canoes!”

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager.
“Here, give me the broom, I’ll show you how to do it.”

Artificial Meat

Pink Slime and meat glue were just the start. All that will be unnecessary when we have artificial meat. Yes, that's what I said. It will no longer be necessary to execute barnyard fowl or the prize Angus because just a few scrapings from the muscle tissue of the creature will soon grow the meat of your choice right in the lab. So can your kitchen be far behind? That remains to be seen. This article from the Financial Times by William Little explores the possibilities.

You wouldn’t normally expect to find a thick red steak quietly pulsating in an oversized Petri dish inside a laboratory. But such is the hype around the team scheduled to produce the world’s first lab-grown cut of meat this October that I can’t help but imagine it. The research being done by bioengineer Dr Mark Post at Maastricht University in the Netherlands has provoked global headlines about “test tube meat” and fierce ethical and scientific debate. Getting access to his laboratory is about as exciting as it gets in the world of food engineering.

But when I arrive, the home of in vitro meat is quiet – no research assistants racing to turn out joints of beef, chicken or lamb. Instead, Post slowly opens the door to what looks like a large fridge, or a bioreactor. Within lie row upon row of tiny Petri dishes in which float minute fibres of almost transparent meat. I find it rather deflating but Post is excited. “I’ll need about 3,000 pellets of meat to make a hamburger,” he says.

The idea of creating our own meat has a long history. In 1931, Winston Churchill wrote in the Strand Magazine that separate parts of an animal would be grown in a lab in the future to “escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing”. And when it started experiments in the 1990s, Nasa became preoccupied with producing a non-perishable meat for its astronauts – it managed to grow goldfish cells in 2002.

Well, I think I'll wait awhile to do a taste test. I want to see how it works out for everyone else. I'm also wondering if it will spawn a new meat industry or if they will come up with a small kitchen appliance that only requires a "starter" to begin  producing chops, fillets and tenderloins. The possibilities are endless. They could include a smoker to do hams and bacon. There could be corn fed and grass fed varieties. Every chicken breast could be free range.

This might be just the thing to make PETA shut the heck up too. No animal harvesting and so nothing to cry about. We can only hope.

Even so, will it be the same as eating something that was once a living, breathing creature? I'm thinking not. We will see.

Bad Joke Friday

The principal made it a habit to visit the classrooms one day a week. He walked into the 4th-grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name.
They came up with 40 names.
The principal boasted that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One boy snickered, “Yes, but in those days there were only 13.”
__________________


One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”
“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
____________________


As two women sat in a coffee shop, they started to discuss their home lives. One said, “It seems like all Robert and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset that I’ve lost fifteen pounds.”
“Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend.
“Oh, not yet,” the woman replied, “I’d like to lose another ten more pounds first!”
___________________


The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.
“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”
“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely.
“In fact, there are three doctors there already!”
___________________


Two men were walking through the woods and found this real deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and listened for the rock to hit bottom. Nothing.
He turned to the other guy and said, “That must be a deep hole … let’s throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom.” They found a bigger rock and both picked it up and dropped it in. They listened for some time and … nothing.
Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it. One man spotted a big log nearby. They picked it up, grunting and groaning, and threw it to the hole, listened intently … nothing.
All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like crazy, blew past the men and jumped into the hole. The men were astounded.
They walked on through the woods, and a little later met an old farmer who asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed … they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods, and run and leap into the big hole. He asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said “Naw, that can’t be my goat … he was chained to a big log.”

Mark Driscoll on Manhood

This is Mark Driscoll. He is one of the pastors at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Even though he identifies with evangelicals, he's received a lot of criticism because he spends a lot of his ministry time talking about sex. Even so, he seems to me to be a genuine follower of Jesus Christ and definitely has a clue about the truth. In this particular clip, he begins by talking about John the Baptist and how he went from boyhood to manhood without any intervening adolescence. He sees adolescence as a modern invention that keeps boys from becoming men and I think he's on to something. Please watch and listen. See if you don't find yourself agreeing with his message.

Another Edition of the Police Blotter From the Flathead Beacon

Once again, Flathead County Montana is the place to be. Where else can you get police reports like this:

Unhappy Horses

Flathead County Sheriff's and Kalispell Police Reports

By Christie Burns, 04-09-12

Wednesday 4/4

7:57 a.m. Someone called in worried about a young man who was sitting cross-legged next to a pile of vomit under the overpass in Evergreen.

8:32 a.m. A young man was arrested after stealing his mom’s friend’s vehicle.

9:14 a.m. A man on Valley View Court reported that a Lab was in his yard barking.

9:36 a.m. A Columbia Falls resident said that the trash in the neighbor's yard is blowing around in the wind.

12:56 p.m. A Marion resident called in to discuss the recent cat poisoning situation and new developments.

1:22 p.m. Someone called in to talk about a small herd of “unhappy” horses on East Reserve Drive.

3:54 p.m. Reportedly, a young girl was en route to burglarize a man’s home on Haywire Gulch. Apparently, this is an ongoing problem. But this time no such burglary took place.

4:04 p.m. A Kalispell resident claimed that his neighbor was “messing up” his sewer but declined to say how.

7:19 p.m. Someone on Eighth Street West reported that the neighbor threatened to shoot a stray dog with a pellet gun.

  

How the Dead Vote

This is the Attorney General of the United State - Eric Holder. On Thursday, April 3, an anonymous young man walked into "a Washington, DC polling place at 3401 Nebraska Avenue, NW, on primary day of this year--April 3, 2012--and giving Holder’s name and address. The poll worker promptly offers the young man Holder’s ballot to vote." He was not Eric Holder. This according to Breitbart News.

This should be enough to make even the most uninformed voter realize how important it is to have a voter ID law in place. But perhaps there's a reason why the politicians don't want to do this? Maybe, they know how to use it to their advantage? If an unscrupulous person had a list of recently deceased people on election day, he or she could spend that day voting in the name of the dead for the candidate of their choice. It could certainly explain why Chicago always goes Democrat on and election day. So when election day roles around in November, bring out your dead. Vote vicariously for them and for you candidate. Or as they say in Chicago, vote early and often.

Religion Run Amok

The clip below if from a movie produced by the cast of Monty Python called "The Life of Brian". It's a humorous look at how faith and God's Word can be twisted to suit the purposes of others.

Some wield their faith as a weapon or an instrument of personal power. They feel empowered to act on God's behalf. They become righteous in themselves. They fail to understand that if we are righteous, it's only because of the grace shown to us by God in the first place. He would much rather we practice grace and mercy. Vengeance, if any is required, will be extracted by Him. People are free to choose God's will or their own and yes, there are consequences for each choice and sometimes it is necessary to put someone outside the fellowship for making the wrong choices. But if they choose restoration, people of faith are required to forgive when repentance is evidenced. Further, it is not our place to continually thump our brethren for past indiscretions that the Lord has forgiven. We along with them must move forward in faith and grow in the knowledge and wisdom given us by Jesus. I praise the Lord everyday for second chances. If He can give them, so can we.

Eternal Hope

On the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said. "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put Him!"

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there, but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.)

Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"

"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I do not know where they have put Him." At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize it was Jesus.

 "Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have put Him, and I will get Him."

Jesus said to her, "Mary."

She turned toward Him and cried out in Aramaic, Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).

Jesus said, "Do not hold onto Me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to My God and your God.'"

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!"  And she told them that He had said these things to her.

The competition between Peter and John to get to the tomb first is interesting. Even after all they been through, they manage to attach some importance to who will be first. More importantly though, it is the women that discover the empty tomb first and it is a woman that is first charged with spreading the news that the Lord has risen. 

Out of death the hope of life eternal was born. Jesus, the Son of God, rose from the dead after a cruel execution, destroying the twin enemies of humanity, sin and death. It is now possible, thanks to this ingenious plan, for all of us to have hope of eternal life.

Bad Joke Friday

Three buddies are sitting around a campfire discussing how they would like to be remembered at their funerals and what they would like to be said about them over their caskets.
The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man.”
The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say, “Look! He’s moving!”

An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.
After what seemed like a very long wait, the doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face.
Sadly, he said, “I’m afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.”
“Oh, dear God,” cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock.
“We’ve never had a liberal in the family before!”

One afternoon, a young man, who was an avid golfer, found himself with a couple of hours at his disposal. He quickly came to the conclusion that if he hurried and played very fast, he could squeeze in nine holes on the fairways before he had to attend a business dinner.
Just as he was about to tee off, an old-timer hobbled over and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not able to refuse the request, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise, the man played reasonably well. He didn’t hit the ball far, but he puttered along steadily and didn’t waste time.
They reached the ninth fairway, and the young man found himself with a tough shot.
There was a large oak tree right in front of him, directly between his ball and the green. He considered how to take the shot for a good long while. Then the young man heard the old man mutter, “You know, when I was your age, I’d hit the ball right over that tree.”
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard and hit the ball right smack into the top of the tree trunk, from where it thudded back on the ground, not an inch from where it had been originally.
The old man offered one more comment: “Of course, when I was your age, that oak tree was only three feet tall.”

Good Friday

Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, but the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father save me from this hour'?  No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again." The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said and angel had spoken to him.

Jesus said, "This voice was for your benefit, not mine. Now is the time for judgement on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out. But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself."  John 12:23-32

Pink Slime and Meat Glue - The Battle Rages On

Well, I hope you've had dinner, and if you live in Iowa, you already know what I'm going to talk about. A battle is raging here and in other states where beef cattle are raised and processed. It's over a filler product used in beef processing called "lean finely textured beef" (LFTB) or "pink slime". It's an interesting byproduct of the beef processing business that has been around for decades. It has been eaten by millions of Americans and has been declared safe by the USDA for human consumption. It is so safe that the USDA did not even see a reason to require labeling of beef products that contained the LFTB. Then in 2008 a documentary was released called "Food, Inc" that exposed the manufacturing processes involved in creating "pink slime". They also pointed out that 70% of all preformed hamburger patties sold in the US contained the "pink slime" aka LFTB. These patties are served in school cafeterias, fast food restaurants and sold grocery stores. We've been eating them by the ton and we been none the wiser or worse off for it...or have we? It is a realistic question to consider when you know something of the process in which "pink slime" is created.

It begins at the processing plant where the beef is rendered down to its constituent parts for packaging and sale to the public. What is left from this process is called the trimmings. It contains bits of fat, meat, gristle and whatever is left on the floor and cutting tables of the processing plants including e. coli bacteria and other micro-organisms. These are the same items that in the past got sold to pet food companies. Now though, these trimming are placed in large centrifuges and spun at high rates of speed, separating the meat from the fat and gristle. What you are left with is very heavily tenderized and lean bits of beef that are very much like a paste. This beef then has to be rendered fit for human consumption and so it is mixed with water and ammonia to kill the bugs that remain. The ammonia is then "washed out" and the "pink slime" is ready to be added to ground beef for the production of pre-formed patties and the hamburger you might buy at the grocery store meat counter.

The concern is the ammonia. Does it all get washed out? The answer is, apparently not. Traces have been found in many samples, but not in amounts that are believed dangerous to humans.

The other concern is an economic one on the other side of the table. Millions of people work in meat processing plants across the mid-west and south. Millions of dollars are invested by stock holders through 401k's and so forth. The industry leaders are telling us that if "pink slime" is banned or abandoned by the meat buying public, the meat processors will have to shut down production. Millions of dollars will be lost and millions more will be unemployed. So you can see, this has become quite a problem where none existed before. What to do, what to do.

What do you want to do about it?

The other item that has not been in the news as much is "meat glue". That got your attention didn't it? Yes, there is such a thing as "meat glue". What do they use it for you ask? They use it to glue meat together you silly rabbit. They will take bits and pieces of choice and prime cuts of meat left over from processing and sprinkle them with a chemical called Transglutaminase. It gets rubbed into the remainders, formed in to a steak sized roll and wrapped in plastic. After a period of time (overnight?), the "meat roll" is unwrapped and sliced into steaks for sale to the public. If the meat scraps were beef tenderloin, it is sold as beef tenderloin and so on. This is perfectly legal because Transglutaminase has also been deemed safe by the USDA. Please look at the meat below. It is at once delicious and also well glued.

Both of these meat processing practices have been going on for decades. They are just now getting publicity in the media. I have heard of no one dying from "pink slime" poisoning or "meat glue" overdoses and yet these practices bother me now that I know about them. How do these economically driven practices really effect us? We are a meat eating nation and the beef industry carries a lot of clout. Would they tell us if consuming these items was having a deleterious effect on us or our offspring? The money alone that is involved is enough to create silence of those that are suppose to be the watchdogs over these matters. Perhaps labeling is the answer. Let the public vote with their pocketbook. Even so, if these practices are halted, there will be many without jobs as plants close. This is unfortunate. What would you do? Cynically speaking, I tend to think that once government confirms that something is safe or dangerous or a health hazard, then the opposite must be true. 

Bad Joke Friday

-----------------------------------------
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney slumped in his chair.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and whispered:
‘”If either of you asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to prison.”
--------------------------------------------

 ---------------------------------------------
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, “I’ve got news for you. You’re going straight to hell!”
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts at the driver, “Stop! I’m on the wrong bus!”
--------------------------------------------

 ------------------------------------------
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, “Good morning Alex.”
“Good morning Pastor,” he replied, still focused on the plaque.
“Pastor, what is this?” he asked the pastor.
The pastor said, “Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked,
“Which service, the 8:30 or 11:00?
-----------------------------------------------

The Police Blotter from The Flathead Beacon in Kalispell, Montana

You really can't write comedy this good. What follows here is the Police Blotter page from the Flathead Beacon in Kalispell, MT

Thursday 3/22

7:36 a.m. A Kila resident discovered a dead cat on his porch.

9:08 a.m. Reportedly, someone in a Jeep has been “casing” the Columbia Falls neighborhood of Sunrise Creek Drive.

12:20 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that she was being harassed by someone she assaulted.

12:24 p.m. A Columbia Falls man complained that stray dogs have been congregating in his yard.

1:50 p.m. A Kalispell man found a suspicious post card in his mailbox and thinks he has a suspect.

2:35 p.m. A man called in and wanted to know if he could check his roommate’s girlfriend’s identification to make sure that she is of age.

3:30 p.m. A woman saw a gray horse standing on Farm to Market Road but was unable to say where exactly it could be found.

4:25 p.m. A young man on Fourth Avenue East threw a tantrum when his mom asked him to take out the garbage.

4:38 p.m. At least three dogs were at large in Hungry Horse.

5:23 p.m. A man on Western Drive claimed that a package was stolen from his doorstep.

5:37 p.m. Terriers were on the loose on Empire Loop.

What city would not trade their crime levels with these? This is great. It's like Andy and Barney in Mayberry. I think I would like to live there. It is what normal used to be. They still have the 'good old days' in Kalispell. Sounds like a good place for an old Ground Hog. I'll have to stay away from those Terriers on Empire Loop though.

 

The Very Latest in Beauty Treatment From Russia

A facial you'll never forget.

 "A client receives a medical-cosmetic massage by way of African snails at a beauty salon in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, on March 23, 2012. Salon owner Alyona Zlotnikova claims that the slime from the snails quickens skin regeneration, eliminates wrinkles, and removes discolorations and scars."

Escargot for the face.

This from the Hungaree website. 

First Timothy Chapter 4 - Personal Instructions For Timothy

From the New International Version of the Bible, First Timothy 4:1-5

The Spirit Clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

Commentary

In chapter 4 Paul begins to lay out a set of personal instructions and advice to Timothy about how he should carry out his ministry in Ephesus. Expanding on his earlier comments in chapter one about false teachers, Paul tells Timothy that the Holy Spirit made it quite clear to him that false teachers would come. They would abandon the faith to serve the doctrines taught by demons. He called them hypocritical liars with consciences that had become useless due to prolonged abuse. He particularly attacked those that taught various forms of asceticism as a means of salvation. Allegedly, abstention from marriage or certain foods would make you holier. The material world with it's various customs and diets were supposedly evil and had to be shunned. About this, Paul said nothing could be further from the truth.

The real facts were that God had created these things as gifts for us to accept from Him. They were to be received in thanks to Him and to be enjoyed in the way intended. They were most definitely not to be rejected as evil. Everything that God created is good. It's only our misuse, abuse or rejection of them that could make them evil.

Questions

1. In verse 1, how did Paul say he got this information about people abandoning the faith?
2. In verse 2 Paul talks about false teachers, calling them hypocritical liars with consciences seared as with a hot iron. What does this mean? Is it possible for a person to lose his or her conscience? How do you suppose they got into that state?
3. In verse 3 Paul talks about two specific false doctrines of a legalistic nature that Timothy had to deal with; they involved abstention from marriage and certain foods. When does abstention from something become dishonorable to God? What is the difference between these practices and taking part in certain spiritual disciplines like fasting, meditation and silence?
4. By saying that marriage and certain foods were intrinsically evil, what were the false teachers saying about God?
5. Instead, how should these things be accepted by a Christian?
6. Does this mean that evil cannot come from these good things?
7. What are some things that you consider to be gifts from God and for which you are thankful?   

From the New International Version of the Bible, First Timothy 4:6-10

If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and the good teaching that you have followed. Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales; rather train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance (and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe.

Commentary

So now Paul tells Timothy how to address the false teacher issue with the church in Ephesus and also how to prove himself as a worthy pastor. The process would be simple. Timothy would point out to the congregation the things that Paul just mentioned in a calm, but firm way. He would reaffirm the truth first taught by Paul in Ephesus years ago, and thus prove his worth as God's minister. Further, neither Timothy or the church should have anything to do with the myths and old wives tales that were being promoted by these false teachers. It was far more important to simply train yourself to be godly. Self discipline to focus on God's purposes is far more valuable than self denial. And while physical training has some value, spiritual training has worth that goes beyond this life and into the next. Spiritual health requires spiritual exercise like regular Bible reading and prayer. The more a Christian knows about God's word and the more a Christian prays, the better off he will be spiritually. He will be a lot less likely to fall under the sway of a false teacher and much less likely to accept their myths and superstitions. The true spiritual athlete puts his hope and trust in God, thus assuring himself of his own salvation.

Questions

1. Paul told Timothy to point out the facts about these false teachers to the Ephesian church. How do you think he did that without offending or upsetting some people?
2. How can we point out scriptural truths to our worldly friends and errant Christians without becoming defensive or making them mad?
3. Paul advised Timothy to avoid myths and old wives tales and instead focus on godliness. Can you think of any superstitions or old wives tales that are popular today?
4. Why should Christians avoid superstitions entirely?
5. How do you train spiritually?
6. How is it different from what the false teachers were advocating in Ephesus?
7. Do you know people that call themselves Christians, but reject parts of God's word? Offer some examples of what they reject and what their reasons are?

First Timothy 4:11-16 from the New International Version of the Bible 

Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Commentary

Paul now gives specific and precise instruction for Timothy to stand his ground against the false teachers, all the while maintaining his Christian walk as a leader and as a man. A show of confidence backed by the scriptures and his way of life should be enough to do this. He should not let them use his youth against him and he should not feel obliged to yield to them simply because they are older. Even older people can be wrong. No church agenda should be allowed that is not in line with God's word. Paul tells him it would also be wise to immerse himself in Christian study and practice and not to neglect the gifts given him by God.

Questions

1. Timothy was commanded to pass on the information Paul was giving him, even in the face of opposition and objections from those that thought he was too young and inexperienced to be doing so. Should a preacher's age ever be an issue?
2. Timothy was to set an example for the church in speech, life, love, faith and purity. Does this mean there is a higher standard of behavior for preachers?
3. What do you think Timothy's gift was?
4. How does watching your life and doctrine save you?

An Appetite for Drones???

Hungry? There's  a new app for your smart phone that allows you to have your tacos flown directly to your location. The Huffington Post says Tacocopter  will deliver your tacos via an unmanned helicopter by merely pushing an icon on your mobil phone.

Indeed, the concept behind Tacocopter is very simple, and very American: You order tacos on your smartphone and also beam in your GPS location information. Your order -- and your location -- are transmitted to an unmanned drone helicopter (grounded, near the kitchen where the tacos are made), and the tacocopter is then sent out with your food to find you and deliver your tacos to wherever you're standing.
You pay online, so the tacos are simply dropped off at your feet by the drone helicopter, which then flies back to the restaurant to pick up its next order.

I wonder how they will do with pizza?

They Are Resigning And The Ground Hog Digresses

Since September 1, 2011, there has been a wave of resignations in the banking community worldwide. I do not know if this is normal turnover, but most of these people were high ranking individuals in their respective institutions. There are similar high ranking resignations taking place in the insurance industry, health care and governments all around the world. In the banking industry alone, there have been 358 resignations in major institutions worldwide. A list of these along with the reference site can be found by clicking this link to American Kabuki.  I can't believe that this is normal. My gut tells me that something is up. People of this stature do not simply leave the gravy train unless they sense that the gravy is about gone.

Another individual named Gabriel has been tracking resignations of high ranking individuals in private industry, insurance, health care and government. Click on this link to read his insights. 

The question is, where did the gravy go? Is my little thimble of gravy safe? How can I safeguard it?

Since 2008 and the collapse of the real estate market and the derivatives debacle, banks throughout the world have been constantly on the edge of collapse. So far and since before it began, the answer has been to create more currency and bail out those banks in trouble. Can we continue to do this forever or are those in resignation mode aware that we cannot? Are they making provision now to prepare for the day the feces hit the oscillating wind device? If this is the case, should we be making similar provision?

The problem here is not us that use banks and banking products. The problem is the way in which banks make their money with compound interest and creation of previously non-existing and unbacked cash reserves. If you or I set up a business to do what modern banks do, we would be arrested for loan sharking among other things.

Perhaps there is a better answer for dealing with the fumbling of the international bankers; one which would take care of the problem for good and smash the useless banking cartels worldwide forever. We could do what they are trying to do in Egypt - Repudiate The Debt owed to these monsters. Why not? And after that, we can reform the banking system and make it impossible for these things to happen again. We might consider sending the people responsible for this mess to jail too. The image of Ben Bernake behind bars is somehow pleasing to me. So, rather than an actual revolution, why not a financial revolution that makes central banking, baseless currency and compound interest illegal? Make banks local and do not ever let them acquire international power again.

It has to start some time. Why not now?

It's Friday....I'm Late...Here Ya Go

A guy walks into a post office one day and sees a middle-aged man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and sprays perfume all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the man and asks what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
a group of 6-year-olds.
After explaining the Commandment to “Honor
thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a Commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.
“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die,” whispered the priest.
“I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.” Nancy couldn’t help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Nancy’s hand in his right hand and Harry’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face. Finally Nancy spoke.
“Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”
The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
The old priest continued, “He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.”

Can't You See I'm On the Phone

This story from the Mail On Line in the UK came with a picture worth a few thousand words. I gotta get me one of these for my phone...

Ingenious. Who needs Blue Tooth? And the best part has got to be the red halo he's going to have on his head and face. That's one snappy looking cell phone gadget.

The 188 Day Major Earthquake Cycle Theory Update

It's a little early (by two days) but Reuters is reporting a major earthquake in Oaxaca, Mexico today of magnitude 7.4 on the Richter scale. This confirms a general pattern close to the 188 day cycle discussed on 3/17. Dave Graham of Reuters says,

A major earthquake struck Mexico on Tuesday, damaging buildings and forcing evacuations in the capital and reportedly knocking down some homes in rural areas.
Office buildings shook and office employees fled into the street when the 7.4-magnitude quake rattled Mexico City. Cell phone lines went down and traffic snarled in the capital moments after the quake, which lasted for more than a minute.
The governor of the southwestern state of Guerrero, Angel Aguirre, said he had received reports of 500 homes damaged, with some of them knocked down, but he gave no more details.
In the Pacific coast beach resort of Acapulco, tourists ran out of cafes and restaurants, a local resident said.
"I swear I never felt one so strong, I thought the building was going to collapse," said Sebastian Herrera, 42, a businessman from a Mexico City neighborhood hit hard in a devastating 1985 earthquake that killed thousands of people.

I'm thankful this was not on the New Madrid fault in the US, but there's still time. It will be 188 days on Thursday, the 22rd. I'm thinking this Mexico city shaker was it though. We will see.

 Please the USGS quake map and Here is the USGS quake detail sheet

Earthquake Details

• This event has been reviewed by a seismologist.

Magnitude	7.4
Date-Time	Tuesday, March 20, 2012 at 18:02:48 UTC Tuesday, March 20, 2012 at 12:02:48 PM at epicenter Time of Earthquake in other Time Zones
Location	16.662°N, 98.188°W
Depth	20 km (12.4 miles)
Region	OAXACA, MEXICO
Distances	136 km (84 miles) SSW of Huajuapan de Leon, Oaxaca, Mexico 162 km (100 miles) WSW of Oaxaca, Oaxaca, Mexico 170 km (105 miles) SE of Chilpancingo, Guerrero, Mexico 322 km (200 miles) SSE of MEXICO CITY, D.F., Mexico
Location Uncertainty	horizontal +/- 15.8 km (9.8 miles); depth +/- 6.5 km (4.0 miles)
Parameters	NST=438, Nph=440, Dmin=312.8 km, Rmss=0.88 sec, Gp= 79°, M-type=teleseismic moment magnitude (Mw), Version=9
Source	Magnitude: USGS NEIC (WDCS-D) Location: USGS NEIC (WDCS-D)
Event ID	usc0008m6h