The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick bush and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the husband, “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
“It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said.
“Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.”
Surprised, the visitor asked, “Was Joshua Hemingway also a writer?”
“Yes, indeed,” said his guide, “He wrote a check.”
Cannibals capture three men.
The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes.
Then they are each given a final request.
The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.
His request is granted, and they poison him.
The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes.
Now it is the third man’s turn. He asks for a fork.
The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork.
As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, “To hell with your canoes!”
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager.
“Here, give me the broom, I’ll show you how to do it.”
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