Do you know anyone with Alzheimer's or any kind of dementia? I do. It's a terrible thing to watch, particularly when it's a family member or loved one. My Dad has Alzheimer's. He was in the early stages before Mom died and I have been watching over him since her passing. It has not been pleasant, but there have been, strangely, blessings that have come from our increased interaction with each other over the past 4 years. We have had an opportunity to get to know each other again and even in his diminished capacity, Dad can be an interesting man to talk to. And since we were not close when I was a child and a teenager living in his house, this time in our lives has brought us back together. It was tough for both of us in the beginning.
After Mom died, I moved in with him to make sure he ate. I took over his financial affairs and I try to do for him what I can to make sure he remains comfortable and undisturbed by the realities of the world. I get him out to the doctor and try to manage his health care as best I can. He is in good condition for someone that has so many things wrong. He has afibrillation of the heart, which, in its current state, is uncorrectable. He has grand mal epilepsy, which he has had to deal with all his life. No seizures since 1968 thankfully. And now he has this insidious, gradually increasing dementia.
Until now, his chief difficulty and personal issue has been time. He never knows what time it is. He never knows what day it is. He does not even know what year it is, even though they shout it at him on television all the time.
There are also entire portions of his life and my childhood that he does not remember. This is probably a good thing. The sixties and seventies are a blank slate for him. I have trouble with the seventies too, but for different reasons...that was a joke. He also sometimes thinks that my uncle, his brother, is me. There is some family weirdness there because my grandparents would also sometimes refer to me by my uncle's name. The whole thing baffles me.
Then last Saturday a new symptom reared it's head. Dad told me that he didn't think the people on the television could see him, but they had been asking him questions and he had been answering. I actually witnessed this behavior last night. He would test it by standing behind the screen because he thought they might be reading his lips. He is convinced now that people on television are talking to him.
I believe we might be approaching the time when Dad has to make a move to a care facility. It's either that, or I quit my job and stay home with him. I could probably do that. It would just be a matter of finding some affordable health insurance for me and selling some property.
Anyhow, I would ask that you pray for me and for Dad while I consider our options. I do not want to accelerate his condition by taking him out of a familiar environment and I really hate to take him away from the dog. He loves Oliver (wheaton terrier) and in some respects, Oliver is a major help in keeping Dad active and thinking. They have adventures together like getting the mail, taking out the garbage and catching the possum that got into the basement. They are a team and great comedy relief for me. I love them both and I really do not want to separate them. But a decision looms nevertheless.
There are also my guilt issues, but that will have to be for another post...maybe. I should have been a Calvinist. I was born guilty.
Gots to go now.
No comments:
Post a Comment