The Last Loser

Mitt Romney is making an allegedly important speech Thursday regarding the 2016 presidential race. This may become known as "Trumpus Interruptus" in the history books. We will see.

I cannot believe they are doing this. Establishment Republicans would rather see a loser lose again than see Donald Trump as President of the United States. It baffles me that they would rather have the Queen of Mean, the Whore of Babylon ascend the Capitol steps in January 2017. She, whose name must not be spoken, will ascend from the bowels of the ninth circle of Hell to rule the Empire.

Lord, you can stop them? Smite Mitt before he harms us all. Send him to wherever it is you are going to send Mormons after death. Make sure he gets a chain. Thanks

This should tell you exactly who these establishment GOP types are and where their real politics are located...to the left of center and in their pocket books.

Truth be told, Trump is probably as liberal as the Witch of Endor Arkansas. He may just be putting us all on for personal entertainment. Nevertheless, I have become convinced that he is the enema America needs. He has certainly increased interest in voting. It would be funny indeed if he managed to beat both of them.

Bring it Mitt. What have you got to lose?  

Resisting The Lord's Plans

As the Rolling Stones used to sing, "you can't always get what you want.." and another early Stones offering, "I can't get no satisfaction.." If I was going to have a couple of worldly songs at my funeral, it would probably be those two. They resonate with me in special ways, even as a child of God.

Many of us faith-centric individuals go through life in search of God's will and some elusive special purpose that we are certain matches what we are thinking we want to do for Him. For some reason, we have it in our minds that we are "more special" than a billion other Christians in pursuit of their obedience. God wants us to do what we want to do for Him. He would not ask us to do this or that thing that would be unpleasant or test us in ways in which we are weak. He would not want us to stay in a situation where, though we might bring Him glory, we would go crazy if we stayed. He would not put us in a place where seemingly nothing is happening.

And so we flee situations that make us uncomfortable or do not line up with the vision we believe God gave us. We run for the hills. We get ourselves thrown overboard. We flail about trying to escape the painful thing...whatever it is. We dread that feeling of a loss of momentum and we wonder what God is doing since it seems like we are spinning our wheels and going no where.

We do these things, even in the face of the uncomfortable truth that we are where we are because God put us there and He wants us to serve Him and each other from that place.

Read that last sentence again and tell me it does not ring true. What? Are you thinking it's true for other believers, but not you? Think again brother. Our purpose here has very little to do with what we want, how we feel or what we think. When we gave our lives to Jesus, they ceased to be our own. We are free from sin, but we are not free from our master. We must stay and obey and go when we are told. Our lives are not our own. Our purpose, generally speaking, is to bring glory to God and be obedient to His will no matter what circumstance we find ourselves in; and to find contentment in these things.

Some of us are like Jonah. We know what God wants, but we actively seek to escape doing it. Then when we finally submit to doing God's will and achieve the purpose He desired, we are still not content. We pout because it is still not what we wanted. Never mind God's glory and purpose.

Others are like Jeremiah who preached his message for 40+ years. No one listened or turned to the Lord. There was no repentance. I wonder how he felt about that? Did he feel like his life had been wasted? Still, the work he did had to be done by someone. He brought the Lord glory through his obedience and tenacity.

I would like to escape my current situation. I would like to walk away. I feel like my time is being wasted.

Then I think about the other lives that I affect in this place that I am in. If I give careful consideration to this, I discover that my influence has been much more pervasive that I thought. People I never think about have listened to the things I have said and read what I have written. These things have probably even brought God glory and honor in ways that I have not realized.

Therefore, I cannot run away. I am where I am because I AM THAT I AM put me here. Sometimes I wish He didn't love me so much....nah...I'm good with it.

Thanks Lord.

Dang It...I Am Just So Flippin' Angry I Could Cuss

Have you ever heard the word "euphemism"? Do you know what it means?

eu·phe·mism

ˈyo͞ofəˌmizəm/

noun

noun: euphemism; plural noun: euphemisms

a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

 

Christians like to use euphemisms. It's all the words we use when we want to cuss. "Cuss" itself is an interesting word. It's a shortened Bible-belt form of "curse". We Christians would never want to curse. That would be a sin, so we have come up with all these replacement words for the actual profanity. Here are a few of them with their actual equivalents.

 

Shucks, Shoot, Crap = Shit

Dang, Darn, Drat = Damn

Frigg, Flip, Shag = Fuck

Son of a Gun = Son of a Bitch

Stupid Idiot = Dickhead

Someone from Indiana = Bastard = i.e. Paul Ryan

 

That last one was sort of my own invention. The Hoosiers run around saying "Hoosier Momma, Hoosier Pappa"...but I digress.

 

The thing is, what we call swearing, cursing and profanity and what these things actually are - are very different from actual cursing or swearing. None of the words above have any relevance to what God said in Exodus 20:7.

  
⁷ “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

 

The name of God was and is a sacred thing. It must not be misused, abused or casually spoken without the proper reverence. The ancient Hebrews and the Jews after them would go to ridiculous lengths to avoid this. They would not speak the actual name of the Lord, even in worship, and they would not write it or carve it on any surface from which it could be removed. They would substitute the word "adoni", which means "Lord" in Hebrew, even when reciting or copying scripture. They would use a euphemism for the name of God so as not to profane His divine and unspeakable, unpronounceable Name. You think I'm kidding (another euphemism)? I am not. There is even speculation that the actual name of God with it's proper spelling and pronunciation, has been lost, making it impossible to literally violate his command. If something goes unspoken and unwritten, it gets forgotten. Nevertheless, intention is 9/10's of the law. 

 

This is the purest definition of what it means to cuss. All the other stuff is fluff. There are things that many people, particularly in the Christian world, the Church world, are uncomfortable talking about. They have to do with sex, defecation, urination and expectoration. These are perfectly ordinary human bodily functions that seem to make Christians squeamish. Yet we seem to have all these other words we use to talk about those things. Poop, Pee and Whoopee have been popularly used in the Christian community, they are not as clinical sounding as the actual terms and they are not considered profane. Slang maybe, but not profanity. There is nothing wrong with this, but there is nothing wrong with saying 'shit' or 'piss' or or or. As long as you do not take the Lord's name in vain, your use of other language will not offend me.

 

But what about 'damn'? Well really, we should not be damning people or animals of inanimate objects. This is like judging them. Seriously. Yet we do not seem to have a problem with 'darning' or 'danging' them. These words carry the same meaning as 'damning', but we Christians do not seem to have an issue with using them. We are less offended if our brethren say 'dang'. Again, intention is 9/10's of the law.

 

What we intend with the language we use is what determines if it's profane. You cannot just say that certain words are off limits to prevent abuse of God's name. To do that is to build a hedge about God's law. We find a way to violate the intent of God's law without actually doing it. This is not good. 

 

So the next time you hear someone using some salty language, consider their intent before making judgements about their character. 

 

Dang. I write some good shit sometimes. (;^))))    

Disconnected Thoughts

Someone asked me why I blog. It's a fair question because the process can be time consuming, but there was an underlying accusation in their question. Really, what they wanted to know was, "why do you think anyone would possibly care to read about you or your life or your random disconnected thoughts about what is going on in the world?" This is what I derived from the whole conversation; it was never stated in those words.

I was being accused of narcissism in the kindest way possible; maybe only egomania, a show off at the very least. I have to confess to being a bit of a show off. I like attention. There are places where I get quite a bit of attention. I teach at church. This is where I have my most fun with people. I also participate heavily in a class that I attend as a student and I'm sure the teacher wishes I would just shut up, but I cannot resist going for a laugh while making a valid underlying point. I have also been known to bury personal digs in my veiled attempts at conversation in order to engender discussion.

I will grant you that this bothers people when they figure out what I am doing, but it does work in terms of producing an open discussion about things that people would otherwise remain silent about. And that brings me to this.

I blog because it's my way of thinking out loud, of organizing my thoughts on a subject, even of giving people another way to look at things. The common memes about the issues of the day are seldom correct and tend to be overly simplistic. There is usually more under the surface of things that needs to be looked at. We have to turn over the rocks in the yard and look at what lies beneath if we are going to attempt to understand what's really going on in our yards. Avoiding unpleasantness is not my life goal. People need to see the mess and deal with it - whatever the mess is. If writing or saying shocking things will do that, then I am up for it.

I confess to being tired of the PollyAnnas in church, at work and elsewhere that are always saying, "God is in control" or "they will figure out a way to make it work". This is a way of passing responsibility for whatever it is to someone else. God gave us brains for a reason. At work we even get paid to use them to a greater or lesser extent. Why don't we?

I am not saying that there is no ego involved in putting my thoughts on the internet for others to read. I do think I have valid things to say that others would do well to understand. Perhaps that is too much for me. Maybe it's not my place. I have never been very good at keeping my mouth shut.

So, the bottom line is this. If you don't like what I say, what I write or who I am, that's OK. Don't listen to me or read what I write or complain about it unless...you want to talk. Know this though. You will not shut me up.
-----------------------
 Now for other things. Saturday night was an adventure in parent rearing. It was about 10:15 PM. I had just finished prep for Sunday's lesson. I came upstairs from my lair and was thinking about sleep when Dad grabbed the dog's leash, hooked him up and headed to the garage. Following close behind, I asked him, as he was putting the dog in the Highlander, what he was doing. He said he was going to take the dog for a ride. Really? 10:15 PM? A ride? He also had two containers of Blu Emu and his flashlight. 'Always be prepared' I guess.

Alzheimer's is a strange disease. When I told him that he needed to come into the house and get some sleep because we had to go to church the next day, his answer was that he would be back before morning. I did eventually get him and the dog back in the house. It took some cajoling, but I got it done. I fully expect to come home from work one night to discover that he and the dog have gone on an adventure. My life is so interesting.

People that have never been in my situation tend to be critical of my approach. They think that I am in control of this man and I should do a better job of caring for him. To this I would say Dad still has a mind and a will, albeit diminished. It is difficult to force him to do anything that he is set against doing. Even so, my thought has always been to allow him the maximum amount of independence and to let him do things as he is able. I firmly believe that a sense of usefulness does much to fight the brain atrophy he is experiencing. I think he has lived longer because of it. I also know that Alzheimer's 100% fatal and there will come a point of diminishing returns with this regimen. I believe now that we may be there. I now have to find the time to get him evaluated and start looking for places where he can live out the rest of his life.

Church members and family members will think this is terrible or irresponsible. I have another opinion. If this were my mate or life companion, it would be different. As it is, this is my aging father. He needs care that I cannot give him. I am gone a lot. I have a full time job. And as selfish as it sounds, I would like to have a life outside of work and Dad.

Some have said, "get elderly day care". This is an option, but not a good one. I still need to sleep. If he decides it's a good night to take the dog for a ride or a walk and wanders off, I will not be getting much of that.

"so get in home, round the clock care."

No. This won't work either. When he gets it in his head to do whatever, it's going to get to the point that it will take more than one person to stop him. He is old, but he is still strong and capable of wielding objects to strike people. Having been hit with his flash light, I understand this. Alzheimer's is a crazy disease that makes people crazy.

I really do not want to deal with this, but I am going to have to.

in flagrante delicto

According to Politico, there is a quiet move by the GOP powers that be to mount a 3rd party candidacy by someone more acceptable to them if Donald Trump is successful in his bid to capture the party's nomination for president. They have been caught in the act of plotting their own defeat and dooming us to four years of coughing fits, prevarication and criminal acts by HRC.

Conservative donors have engaged a major GOP consulting firm in Florida to research the feasibility of mounting a late, independent run for president amid growing fears that Donald Trump could win the Republican nomination.
A memo prepared for the group zeroes in on ballot access as a looming obstacle for any independent candidate, along with actually identifying a viable, widely known contender and coalescing financial support for that person. The two states with the earliest deadlines for independent candidates, Texas and North Carolina, also have some of the highest hurdles for independents to get on the ballot, according to the research.

These people just do not get it. In USA Today Glenn Reynolds sums up why it is that people are opting for a ballot box revolution rather than the status quo in both America and the United Kingdom (which is considering an exit from the European Union).

In America, Donald Trump — who many of the experts thought had no chance — is dominating the polls. In Britain, meanwhile, much of the public seems to be mobilizing in favor of exiting the troubled European Union — a British Exit, or Brexit.

Writing in The Spectator, Brendan O’Neill puts this down to a class revolt on both sides of the Atlantic. And he’s right as far as he goes, but I think there’s more than just a class revolt. I think there’s also a developing preference cascade. O’Neill writes: “In both Middle America and Middle England, among both rednecks and chavs, voters who have had more than they can stomach of being patronised, nudged, nagged and basically treated as diseased bodies to be corrected rather than lively minds to be engaged are now putting their hope into a different kind of politics. And the entitled Third Way brigade, schooled to rule, believing themselves possessed of a technocratic expertise that trumps the little people’s vulgar political convictions, are not happy. Not one bit.”

Well, that’s certainly true. Both America and Britain have developed a ruling class that is increasingly insular and removed from — and contemptuous of — the people it deigns to rule. The ruled are now returning the contempt.

Those that would rule need to know that we are sick to death of politicians that think they know better than we who elected them. We are sick to death of them catering to minorities and immigrants and the companies and businesses that hire them. We are tired of artificially low wages that are brought down by cheap labor. We want our jobs back that have been exported to China, India and Mexico. And we want America to be ours. Close the borders. Deport border jumpers. Allow only legal immigration. No amnesty please. No more anchor babies. No more religious extremists from the middle east. Bar them. Load up cattle cars and airplanes and send them back to where they came from. There is a legal process that millions have used to enter the US and eventually become citizens. This should be the only way anyone emigrates to our land.

Those who immigrated here legally are furious at the current situation. Donald Trump is collecting their votes along with millions of white Democrats and Republicans. It is time for a change. I am ready for a bit of craziness if it will make the powers that be sit up and take notice. We will not be controlled and if you try to mess this up, you will have the extremists pouring out of the woodwork to bring you down.

As a Libertarian, I really am not all that fond of any of the candidates. I had a passing fancy for Ted Cruz, but I got over it. I thought that Marco Rubio might upset the Trump apple cart, but that has not happened. I know it's early yet, but I have yet to see an obstacle that Donald Trump could not move out of his way.

I am willing to jump on this bandwagon just to see the feces hit the oscillating wind device.

Mr Trump is not a Ronald Reagan conservative. He is not a JFK type Democrat. He is, above all else, a pragmatic populist. Neither liberal or conservative, he wants to do what works for the most Americans possible. After all, we are the ones that pay the bills. If we can get him elected, then maybe we can get rid of the Paul Ryan's and Harry Reid's of this world too. Mitch Mc Connel and Nancy Pelosi also need to go home. I have had it with their imperial attitudes and their willingness to destroy our union to empower themselves. Let these technocrats move on to something productive or maybe...maybe, they should just retire.

Let the Trumpening begin.      

Another Day, Another Opossum

The Daddy Possum was in the trap this morning. I reunited him with his wife down at Yellow Banks. He was docile by the time we got there and he seemed grateful for his release. He was almost petlike in his demeanor. As he exited the trap, he turned to look at me as if to say thanks and then he smiled his possum smile and trotted off into the woods.

I will reset the trap tonight. Transporting wildlife to a better place has become my new purpose. Possums do a great job of cleaning things up. They will eat most anything. Some think there are too many possums. This may be true. If so, competition will thin the herd. Whatever. It's fun and harmless.

I suppose I need a plan in case I get a skunk. This is a concern. If I smell funnier than usual the next time you see me, you will know what happened.

This had to be a hazard for the pioneers as they crossed the continent. I'm not sure what their solution was. I'm sure it gave the natives a good laugh.  I am told that hydrogen peroxide will remove the smell. I hope I never have to find out. I wonder what the pioneers used?

I can tell in my bones that spring is coming. There is stirring of desire within me. I thought I was passed this, but maybe not. You might send up a prayer for me. The armor has weakened in places, but I must stand. I am too close to my goal now to fail.

Maybe my new hobby of collecting wildlife will help with this. I'm hoping for a raccoon next or maybe some possum babies. Lord, please hold the skunks for more skilled hunters.

I'm just about ready to go to work. I've been sitting here at Caribou for awhile and one of the employees is on break. He is plugged into his phone listening to something. It's making him whistle...very funny. Gots to go...  

The Old Man, The Dog and The Opossum

There are few things in God's creation uglier than a possum.

I rest my case.

Anyway, I was made aware of a possum infestation under the east deck of the house by my Dad and a digging, barking wheaton terrier so I set the harmless trap and today I had my first possum. These are interesting critters even if they are ugly. They are marsupials. Like a kangaroo, the female carries her young in a pouch. The male possum has a bifurcated penis, which means it has two ends and this corresponds well to the female possum which has two vaginas. It sort of reminds me of Double Mint gum. Wrigley's had a commercial jingle that went something like, "double your pleasure and double your fun with Double Mint, Double Mint, Double Mint gum" and then they would show you video of twins chewing gum....but I digress.

So, finding my possum this morning, trapped and very crabby and with an excited wheaton terrier barking and running circles around it, I had to decide what to do with my prize. I considered calling my friend Steve. He likes to kill things. He probably would have skinned it and made me a hat. I was more concerned about him finding a way to eat it though. He is from Missouri. I think I will wait for a raccoon. Nicer hat.

My solution, in the end, was to take the possum for a ride. We went to Yellow Banks where I detrapped my toothy friend and she ambled out into the thicket toward the river where I am sure she will be happier than a pig in shit.

I then returned home and reset the trap. I think there's more possum to be had. This morning's was the female. Daddy possum is out there and it's my desire to reunite them at Yellow Banks. I'm sure his wife will be missing him and his bifurcation.  

The Zombie Apocalypse

I'm not talking about a John Carpenter film here, but I do think we are fast approaching a time when such a thing is possible. These Zombies will not be the flesh eating, half dead, decaying, near mechanical bodied people stumbling down the streets in search of victims. They will be controlled by other means and they will appear to be perfectly normal, but they will be dangerous nevertheless...much like the thoughtless, mindless Hillary supporters and Rush Limbaugh listeners of the present day (;^))))

Something like the picture above. The powers that be (TPTB) would like nothing better than a controlled, near hypnotized, dumbed down population that submits quietly to everything that they propose. Devices like smart phones and the tablet I am using right now represent platforms that can be used to achieve this. Everyone today seems to have a device. Poor people even have Obama phones. We have become accustomed to having, on our person at all times, these means of communication. Couple this with the effects of fluoride in the water and the large numbers of people on some type of anti depressant or mood inspiring drug and you end up with a population of docile people that are self absorbed and willing to submit to anything as long as they can keep their creature comforts.

Imagine cell towers used to emit frequencies that calm the collective human brain as well as provide phone service. Imagine that TPTB have decoded the human brain and are capable of using these towers to create and control human behavior.

This could be the plot line of a good science fiction novel or the ramblings of a paranoid schizo, but it is also the kind of thing that might actually happen.

Did I say "might"? I think it is happening. There are whole segments of society that seem to be under the control and domination of something evil and for the first time in history, it seems organized. Those involved see it as the new and moral normal. Unity of human thought has been desired for millennia.  It has been the long term goal of despots and messiahs throughout history, but control of thought has only been a goal of the spiritually evil ones that look to the long term and incremental changes to achieve control.

This slow, inevitable movement toward total thought control has been going on since the creation of the world. It has never been a secret. To call it conspiracy would be to minimize the truth of it. Controlling human thought is the key to real power. We must not submit to it. We must see it for what it is and expose it before it becomes too late.

My advice...turn off your TV's. Refuse to believe the collective meme promoted by CBSCNNFOXABCNBCMSNBC. The media is controlled. Use your brain to judiciously choose what you read on the net. Find other means of entertainment.

Explore your spirituality. You are body and spirit. You are not merely animated, physical matter with sentience. Ask yourselves where you come from and why it is you feel eternal even though death dogs you daily from birth. Do not submit to the social themes of your time. Examine what is and ask why. Think for yourself. Do not be afraid to be alone in your opinions. Despise 'group think' at home, at work and at church.  Above all, do not lose yourself in the materialism of our time. Getting caught up in "stuff" is easy. Talk to people. Relate to them. Build relationships with those in your family. Never use TV as a baby sitter and do not let other people raise your children.

Live in this world, but do not let the zombies know you are different from them. Instead plant thoughts that cause their programming to malfunction. Make them think. If you can break their death stare long enough to make that happen, it will create dissatisfaction and put them on the road to freedom from control.

You were created to be free. Find your Creator and give control to Him. He will insulate you from the palpable, organized evil of this time in history and you will live freer than you have ever lived before, no longer a slave to your appetites. Decouple from the Big Lie and embrace the truth.    

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jeb Bush Is Out

Ya, you knew that right? Well do not assume that he will be disappearing anytime soon. You may not see him on the campaign trail, but there are still Bush family operatives in the campaign. Who am I talking about?

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and John Kasich. Though they have played the part of Bush enemies on the campaign circuit, all of them have been in the thick of it with the Bush family. I know many that believe Ted is an outsider like the Donald, but this is not true. He is "establishment" at his core. He has worked in Bush administrations for years before he was a Texas senator. He's the kind of guy that can screw you with out you knowing it.  All you need to do is look at his credentials to see that he is an insider politically. His wife is even a big time banker. I think she is with Goldman Sachs. The worst part is that right now, he holds some major cards that could cause problems for Trump at the convention and he will soon have to make a decision. His delegates will be enough to put Trump over the top in delegate count. He needs to make a deal now if he really is the "outsider" that he would have us believe. Failure of Cruz to do so could result in a brokered convention that could give us Rubio or even a "draft Jeb" moment to keep the peace in the Grand Old Party.

Rubio has been firmly in the pocket of the Bush family for years. He is Jeb's Florida creation and this may be the hour of his establishment anointing. Together with Kasich, Cruz and Rubio could run enough interference to hand the nomination to Rubio or even a resurrected Bush.

Frankly, I am rooting for Donald Trump. I want anyone that is not one of the usual suspects. Hillary is an A-One nutjob and Jeb is from a crime family that makes the mafia seem like the Cleavers. I cannot stand to look at him. He is his mother in men's clothes. If you put a string of pearls on him and give him a permanent, it would be easy to mistake him for Babs.

America needs an enema. Donald Trump is the one to do it. I will complain about him when he is President. For now, "you Go Donald"!

Foreboding

I have a foreboding. Something is not right in my part of the universe and I cannot put my finger on it. My intuition tells me something negative is going to happen in my life and I am not liking it. I have no idea what it is other than a bad feeling. It could be something I ate or maybe I'm edging up on a depression. I guess I'm long overdue for that. I need winter to be over and I think I need a vacation from my life. There's too much going on for me to deal with it all. I am not like other men. I do not multitask well and there comes a point where the machinery begins to break down.

My blood pressure has been too high. My meds are just not cutting it. My doctor's answer to that is more of the same with a higher helping of statins to cure my cholesterol poisoning. I probably need to get some exercise and knock off some of the caffeine. I suppose I might be edging up on a heart attack, but I've been trying to put that off until after 60. I can't be dying now. There is too much left to do. Still there's the dull tingling in my arms, especially the left one. I would like to think it's the nerves in my neck getting ground together by my narrowing cervical vertebrae, but who knows; and as my doctor says, "there's nothing you can do about it".

Modern medicine is a wonderful thing. They can come up with a vaccine in a week for the Zika virus, but they cannot fix my neck or cure my cholesterol poisoning except with another poison. 

There have been several people in my family with hypertension. None of them have had a heart attack or a stroke. Is it possible that I am going to be the first one? Seems like I'm always the odd man out with this stuff. We will see.

I suppose I could get struck by a meteor. This too would be much like me. At the funeral people would say, "he would do anything for attention. Who gets hit by a meteor? Well Jeff, that's who".

It could be nothing...maybe my foreboding is due to something else or nothing at all.

We will see.

I Am Of Two Minds..Or Personalities...Or Something

I can probably chock this up to his Alzheimer's, but I think Dad believes I am two different people and I think this may be my fault.

When I get up in the morning, I usually feel pretty good despite my age and all the other things that are wrong with me. I am in a good mood. I'm ready to go squat at Caribou and crank something out for the blog before work. I think the whole morning mood thing has to do with being able to leave and go somewhere else. It's like I am a prisoner on work release and that might be a subject for another blog post.

Anyway, when I come back from work at night, I do not always feel so good and sometimes my mood just sucks. I am cranky, bitchy and whatever else you can think of because people have been yelling at me all day on the phone.  I get the impression that Dad believes that I am someone else. I even heard him mention this to the dog on Friday night. He said, "I wonder which one it will be", as I walked in the house from the garage.

I must seem like Jekyll and Hyde to him, even so, I should have the same appearance only with a few more wrinkles in my clothes. It's hard to believe I am so different that he actually thinks I am two people. Whatever.

I just wish it would warm up so he can get back to mowing lawn. He needs something to distract him besides me, my alter ego, the TV and the dog. 

Ha Kavod Adonai

The Glory of the Lord. Ya, that's what it means. It is why the Lord created humans. We were made to bring Him glory and honor. Some of us do that and some of us don't. Some of us believe and some of us don't. It's the fallen state of the human race. We have to come to know Him before we are able to honor and glorify Him.

As I said, there are those that do and those that don't honor and glorify God. Some fail to honor God because they do not believe He exists. Others begrudgingly acknowledge Him, but they are angry with Him. They think He stacked the deck against them. I understand this. I felt this way for much of my life.

So, what if I told you that He does stack the deck? Further, that He does this so we can achieve the purpose for which we were designed - to bring Him glory.

I have only recently considered this. It came up in a sermon (thanks Steve) I heard last Sunday and in a conversation again yesterday. The question is, does God put us in miserable situations or bad circumstances for His own purposes, stacking the deck against us, so that we bring Him glory by the way we deal with it?

For years I was angry with God because I'm gay and I thought He should do something about it, but He did not. Praying never changed that situation. Prayer enabled me to resist, but it did not cure my unnatural desires. It was a wedge that I could not remove in our relationship. I held Him responsible. My anger continued for years.

At one point, I came to the conclusion that God was not responsible for my misplaced sexual desire. It had to be something else. I have held that position for quite awhile now. The flesh is broken after all. Only He can heal it...but the questions still remains, then why doesn't He?

Then someone said, "Jeff, you are what you are because God made you that way." Thanks Karla for helping to change my mind.

Really? Why would God make me gay and then forbid me to have that kind of life? Is that not the definition of a cruel god?

Well, no...not really. In the bigger picture of things, what could bring more glory to the Lord than a man who, against all odds, withstands the slings and arrows of  his own desires and lives in spiritual victory because the Lord enabled him to do so?

Ya I know, maybe that's the deal. God takes something as broken and bent as me and makes me a lens to magnify His glorious light. Now we're talking.

I'm gay and even so, I bring glory to God. His power is an amazing thing.

Lord, thanks for Loving me and making me as you wanted me to be. Please continue to use me as a testimony of your power and help me ever to point to your glory. I love you. Amen      

Tax Time

April 15 is fast approaching. Federal income tax filing must be done on or prior to that date, I suppose you already knew that unless you're a scoff law, tax protester or something called a "sovereign citizen". Most of these will end up in prison due to their special status as non-contributors, but I digress.

The fact is that we have to pay our taxes. It's the price of civilization, limited liberty, public sanitation and studies concerning the endangered red wing butt biter and gobi headed dung teaser; both so important to our continuing survival on earth. 

Jesus was asked about paying tax to Rome in His day. He was all for it, even though many had issues with supporting the Roman Empire. Never mind that the Romans brought running water, sewers and paved roads to Palestine. They were stepping on other things considered absolute by many Judeans and so they would look for ways and people that would support them and lead them to victory over those that wanted clean water and safe travel, but again I digress. The Romans were a mixed bag of tyrannies and freedoms that worked well for centuries, much like the modern American empire of today.

Anyhow, Jesus was approached by some close to the political and spiritual leadership of His day to ask Him about paying tax to Rome. The conversation went something like this.

Matthew 22:15-22
 
¹⁵ Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. ¹⁶ They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. ¹⁷ Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax^[a] to Caesar or not?”
¹⁸ But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? ¹⁹ Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, ²⁰ and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”
²¹ “Caesar’s,” they replied.
Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
²² When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

Ya, it was supposed to be a trap. The Jews of the time were trying to manipulate him into saying subversive things that would force the Romans to deal with Him. It did not work. We give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's. That certainly makes sense. That which is Caesar's is stamped with his image. 

So what is stamped with God's image? What is it that we give to God?

Genesis 1:26, 27

²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,^[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

²⁷ So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.
Genesis 2:7
 
⁷ Then the Lord God formed a man^[c] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

So it is us. We are to give to God that which is stamped with His image - ourselves.

How do we do this? We give of our time, our talent and our treasure in service to Him as our Creator. He is the one that endowed us the ability to create and to love and to choose in our own fashion, much as He has always done. We are like our Father before us, so we should conform ourselves to His image and give back to Him as our Creator.

Your Wedding Clothes

I have been to weddings. Even today, people tend to upgrade their normal apparel prior to attendance. I guess it's suppose to be a sign of respect or maybe competition. I confess to not fully grasping the whole wedding tradition thing and I know it varies by culture as to what one wears, but generally speaking, since it's supposed to be a joyous occasion, a social event and a place to be seen, people will try to look their best.

Some among the younger set that are obsessed with love and the idea of being in love will bring their prospective partner to show them how it is done and what the process looks like. Others merely attend out of familial or friendly obligation, bringing the expected gift. Our culture's idea of what a wedding should be however, falls drastically short of what it was in Jesus' day.

In ancient times, the Jews would arrange marriages for their children. It was as much a financial transaction between families as it was a rite of passage into the final stages of adulthood. I am lead to believe that the betrothed couple would live together for a year prior to the wedding and later marital bliss. This was not a living together that involved sexual activity. This was forbidden. It was, rather, preparation for life together that measured compatibility in all other areas of real life. It was a test drive of everything accept the actual equipment, if I might be so bold.

When the wedding actually took place, it would be a major social event. The parents would invite friends and family and then announce when everything had been prepared. It was a literal feast and people would stay in your house during the entire event. The celebration would go on for days, maybe even a week. Both the ceremony and the consummation of the marriage would take place during the event. The consummation would take place in a room off the main wedding hall. Sometimes it was private. At other times there were a small number of witnesses, usually older women. The prospect of marriage is intimidating for many men, but I cannot imagine my first time around the block with a room full of old ladies behind a screen. Their purpose in being there was to confirm consummation. When the act was complete, they would check the sheets for blood. I would think such traditions would be enough to drive any man from the culture, but apparently it did not. But I digress. I'm here to talk a about Jesus' parable of the wedding banquet in Matthew 22.

    Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: ² “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. ³ He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come.
⁴ “Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’
⁵ “But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business. ⁶ The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. ⁷ The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city.
⁸ “Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. ⁹ So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’ ¹⁰ So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, the bad as well as the good, and the wedding hall was filled with guests.
¹¹ “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. ¹² He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.
¹³ “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’
¹⁴ “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”

Now if you have read what is above, you are aware that the king's initial invitees refused his invitation. The result was that the king decided to bring in people off the streets - people that had no real preparation for such a feast - people that were not initially good friends of the king. These people, being street people, were probably not wealthy and were ill prepared for such a formal event. It has been suggested that the king and his servants had to provide these people with wedding clothes, since they probably had none of their own or even the time to go home and change. And this is why the king is shocked by the presence of a man that is not properly dressed and has him thrown out.

The point of the parable is that those with wedding clothes (salvation and citizenship in the Kingdom) refused to attend (the Jews) and so the King (God) invited the impoverished people from the streets (the Gentiles) to His feast, going so far as to supply the means for attendance. 

We are saved because God provided the means for our salvation. We just have to choose to put on our wedding clothes.

Are you wearing them? Do you just get them out on Sundays? The wedding feast is in full swing. You do not want to be seen by the king without your wedding clothes. Put them on. You will look great. Trust me.

Perseverance

"Perseverance" is an interesting word. What I notice immediately is that it has the word, "severe", in the middle. This kind of puts me off. When I think about something "severe", I think of it as being dangerous or painful or strict in that disciplinarian sort of way. I want to run away from it, avoid it and hide. Who wants this kind of trouble? Not me.

But James, the Lord's brother says that if our faith is real, it will develop in us perseverance to withstand trials and temptations. I am a man of faith, therefore I must, in the spiritual scheme of my life, develop perseverance. 

James 1:2-4
 
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Is he nuts? Am I really supposed to consider it a pure joy? I have a problem with that. I want perseverance as part of my spiritual character, but is there not an easier way to develop it? Trials and temptation involve discipline, self denial and sometimes outright pain. These things are not joyful to me. They bring anguish and second thoughts.

Really?

If I have faith as I claim, why should this be? Why would I fear the development of perseverance in my life? My faith should lead me to visualize what I could be as opposed to what I am and so be willing to tolerate the severity of the moment in pursuit of perseverance which will last me a lifetime.

He also says, 

James1:12-15
 
¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
¹³ When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴ but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James makes the choice clear. If we learn perseverance with all its severity, we will receive a crown of life. Who does not want that? A little severity for awhile and then a crown of eternal life - is that not a joyful thing? It will also require some patience and long suffering, and since I am shopping for spiritual items today, I may as well get the 3-pack. It will cost me some severity, but it's worth the investment and it will also be better than the alternative.

James says that if we fail to develop perseverance, then we will have to deal with the consequences. If we fail to persevere against the trials and temptations in our lives, the result will be death. Is he talking about spiritual or physical death? I'm thinking maybe both.

I do not consider that a pure joy. Nope.

So Lord, Please teach me to persevere. Help me to get to the place where I can enjoy it. Renew me daily from the inside out. Walk in front of me so I can see and watch my back so I do not become a victim. Please help to finish the work You started all those years ago. Thanks much. I love You. My crown size is 8 by the way.    

Philippians 4:13
 
¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

The Cruelest Cut of All

This is something that I have never understood. I have heard about it, read about it and even had a friend that did it, but I never understood what drives it.

Did you know there people that cut themselves?

Ya, they do it on purpose. My first thought is that it's a cry for attention, since large numbers of these people are teenagers experiencing the usual adolescent angst. I have to say that I was no stranger to seeking out ways to get attention when I was that age. My motto was that even negative attention was good attention.  There was, however, no attention worth the pain of slicing an arm open with a good old Gillette Super Blue.

I have also been advised that there are adults do this. I do not know if it's a hold over habit from the teen years, but I know it occurs.

The literature on the subject indicates that self mutilation and cutting is not an attention seeking device, but when it happens repeatedly and is brought to the attention of counselors by the self identified victim, one has to wonder. My thought is that there is a real pathology to this and their are the copycat attention seekers.

Let me offer this advice to the attention seekers. Find another way. Create something. Build something. Involve yourself in a relationship. Explore your talents. Try just showing off. It works for me. I'm really good at it and in a self effacing way. Adventures in self butchery will eventually wear thin with those whose attention you are seeking. Try something else. Crying wolf once or twice with new cuts is not the way to go. Any counselor worth their credentials would report you in a minute. Don't end up on the 6th floor at Lutheran Hospital just because you wanted a bit of attention. Just knock it off OK?

You may have real issues. I understand that. Try talking about them with someone you trust. That will get you some attention and you might actually develop a friendship or relationship that does not require the drama of self mutilation. Now if you like the drama, maybe this is the issue? Life is not a television show. Frankly, it is boring most of the time. I have grown to appreciate that in ways you cannot imagine. Boring is good. It's the absence of tragedy.

Go for a walk. Think. Pray. Throw away the razor blades and the anger with mommy and daddy.

If you are a Christian, remember that your body does not belong to you. You gave it to Jesus. Don't abuse it okay? You were bought with a price. You are an expensive and highly valuable human being - even if you're an idiot that cuts themselves for attention - so just knock it off. I think I said that already.

Breaking News From The Onion

There's breaking news from The Onion. Apparently President Obama has already compiled his short list to fill the SCOTUS vacancy left by the death of Antonin Scalia.

WASHINGTON—Moving quickly to begin the process of filling the unexpected vacancy on the Supreme Court bench, President Obama spent much of the weekend compiling a shortlist of gay, transsexual abortion doctors to replace the late Antonin Scalia, White House sources confirmed Monday. “These are all exemplary candidates with strong homosexual values and proven records of performing partial-birth abortions, but am I missing anyone?” Obama reportedly asked himself while reviewing his list of queer, gender-nonconforming, feminist Planned Parenthood employees, all of whom were also said to be black immigrants. “I definitely have enough post-op transsexuals on the list, but it is a little light on pre-op candidates. And I should probably add a cop killer or two on here just to round out my options.” Sources later confirmed that Obama was attempting to rapidly narrow the list down to the single best nominee to submit to the Senate in hopes of wrapping up confirmation hearings before his choice had to leave to attend the Hajj pilgrimage.

Satire is a wonderful thing, but one must wonder how close this is to the mark and how quickly senate Republicans will cave to executive pressure to confirm whoever the happy homo will be. Mitch McConnell lacks the firmness of a tower of gelatin even with the bananas. The other Quisling Republicans in the senate are not much better and will bow to the pressure of their leadership. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz will fly back to Washington to feign opposition prior to folding like a deck of cards.

We live in interesting times.   

If there is anything wrong with the constitution of the United States, it is the section regulating the  US courts. SCOTUS members should not serve life terms and they should not be allowed to create law where none existed before. Still, they do this with great regularity and they go unchallenged. The legislative branch could reign them in. There are several ways in which they could counterbalance the extremism in the judiciary, but they do not do it. They could also reign in executive overreach, but again, they are a lazy bunch, refusing to serve the function for which they were elected. We are living in a functional dictatorship that's being operated by appointees and bureaucrats and rubber stamped by legislators that live in luxury while they entertain unelected influence peddlers, accepting their favors. 

Rome in the 21st Century.

This Body of Sin

I trot out this old chestnut every time I sin or think about sinning. I think it's the way I justify my own thought life and behavior so that in some way my guilt is mollified in my own mind.  I mean, if even Paul had issues (see below), then me too. It's kind of a miserable attitude eh?

Romans 7:14-25a

¹⁴ We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

That last sentence sums up what it is that I am always looking for - deliverance. The questions then arises, "but have we not already been delivered and if so, what's wrong with our conversion?"

The fact is that we sin. The flesh is broken and we sin. It's why we need a Savior in the first place. The difference "should" be that as Christians, we now have a power to resist sin that we did not have prior to our conversion. This power is given by God. He actually gives us part of Himself - it's The Holy Spirit. This is why Paul says in,

Romans 8:5-13
 
⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life^[d] because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of^[e] his Spirit who lives in you.
¹² Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

So the challenge for us Christians is to live by The Spirit. How do we do that to such a degree that we are free of the things of the flesh that still plague our mortal bodies? Paul also discusses this in,

Galatians 5: 13-18.

¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[b] 15} If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

So how do we walk by The Spirit; how do we follow His lead? 

That's a fair question that I always end up answering with more questions. How much do you love Jesus? How much do I love Him? I ask these things because the answer is pivotal to our success in the battle against sin in our mortal bodies. How so? What does our love for Jesus have to do with our fight against our own sin? 

If you love someone, do you not find yourself submitting to them in ways that you would not submit to someone else? Think about it. It's true right? Love is motivational in that it moves us to act selflessly toward the one we love. If we love Jesus, we will join Him in the fight to eradicate sin. After all, He suffered to set us free from the bondage of our own desires. Some like to say that He died for our sins. I prefer to think that He gave His life to set me free from the power of sin which is death. If we truly love Him, is it not incumbent on us to yield all our desires and urges to sin to His will?

So, again, how do we walk by The Spirit? 

It's not magic. There will be no mighty, rushing wind every time the desire to sin stirs. Instead you have to listen. There will be a voice. Sometimes it's a whisper. Other times its a loud scream to flee or get the heck out of whatever situation you have gotten yourself into, but He is there. He is trying to guide us. We have to listen. Some become deaf to His voice and that is unfortunate. Don't let that happen. Do not ignore those inner promptings and so become callous to His call to God's righteousness.

You will also find that spiritual discipline is required. We have to participate. We have to submit and subordinate our will to His. This is not easy if you've spent your life being a wild and untamed thing, but it has to be done. The result will be sanctification if done properly.

Are you ready to submit? Are you ready to yield and bend your will? Are you ready to grasp the power available to you and wield it in such a fashion that you always win? It's up to you. It really is up to you. Give Him your life so that you can live in victory, never wallowing again in the ashes of defeat.

I talk a pretty good game don't I? Let's see if I can play.     

 

Rich Mullins Home

The Hair Cut Lottery

I used to be quite vain. It was kind of obnoxious. Between the ages of about 16 and 23, I was obsessive about my hair. I had these long, god-like locks of red hair that were to die for. Women used to tell me, "I would die for hair like that". It was also a work of art from the stylist's point of view. It was cut in such a way that if I went out into a high wind and then came inside, all I had to do was shake my head back and forth and every hair would fall into place in an almost mystical sort of way. My hair seemed to have a memory.

My stylist at that time (1973-1980) was named Rick. He worked at the House of Sculpture on University across from Mercy hospital. He and his business partner Larry ran the place. Strangely, it was my Dad that hooked me up. He had been going there for awhile on the advice of someone he worked with so it was natural to take your kid there and see what would happen.

Never in my life had I felt good about how I looked or even having red hair. Rick changed all that for me. He turned me into a primping, vacuous, air head in front of the mirror. I really liked what I saw. I had confidence that I never had before. I actually thought I was good looking. Maybe I was. Both sexes would look at me, ask me where or who cut my hair and when the guys asked, they were always a little red faced. Being me, I always enjoyed that.

The pic above is of me and my Mom at Grandma's house. I was hot. I have to say, I think I would have dated me. Is that narcissistic? Most likely. We are talking about me here. I am prone to such.

Anyway, as life moved forward and I moved away, there was no one to style my locks and I had to move into the working world and be responsible and pay taxes. Even if I had stayed home, I would have lost Rick and Larry. They both ended up in prison for dealing cocaine out of the shop. The House of Sculpture became an architect's office.  It was a shame. It was the 70's. No one really understood shame.

Reality can be a bitch. So I went in search of the correct stylist/barber, but I never found them.

All of this went through my head today as I was getting clipped at one of those assembly line haircut places, paying more than I paid Rick and Larry back in the Day.

I actually came out looking pretty good considering there is not as much to work with these days. Today my hair is a kind of golden white color that I cannot quite describe and it's much shorter than it used to be. Life has humbled me, Jesus has taken care of me and I love Him for it and people no longer look at the hair anyway. It's OK. I am content and confident in ways I never was in 1979.

It takes more than a haircut to make a man..even so, I still think I would go out with me. It's no wonder I never got married. I've been in love with myself all these years. I guess I'm happy together.

Is this getting nauseating? :^) 

Maybe this summer I will go with a buzz cut. I haven't had one of those since I was about 7 years old.

I will probably look the same, but with wrinkles.