Monday, August 22, 2016

The Dark Side

In "Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi" there is a scene that takes place aboard the death star between Luke, Darth Vader and the Emperor. Darth has taken his son, Luke, to the Emperor in an effort to convert him to the dark side. It's a scene packed with emotion that I think is lost on many because of the bad acting, the special effects and the movie music.

Luke absolutely hates the dark side of the force. He hates the Empire. He hates the knowledge that his father is Darth Vader, arguably the most evil man in the universe with the exception of the Emperor himself. He wants no part of it, but he also feels compassion for his father amidst all the evil that he has perpetrated and he wants to try and save him, to reignite the dead love in Darth's hearts.

After a light saber (I still want one) duel with his father, where in a rage of anger and hate, he hacks off his father's bionic arm, Luke stands before the Emperor. He is encouraged to embrace the dark side of the force. Feel the hate. Feel the power. And then....then...replace his father at the Emperor's side. All of this is said as Darth is standing by, his saber bearing arm stub still smoldering from the heat of Luke's blade.

In a moment of power and strength of character, Luke bends like a reed. He drops his saber to the floor, looks at the Emperor and says he will never join the dark side - that He is a Jedi like his father before him.

The enraged Emperor then informs the young Jedi that he will die. There is intense, lighting bolt like energy emitted from the Emperor's fingers. It appears that Luke will will die a slow agonizing electrical death. After an eternity of shock therapy is administered to his son, Anakin Skywalker awakens and destroys the Emperor.     

The universe is saved, Darth is saved, Luke is saved. Evil dies. Goodness and love prevail.

Oh that real life was like this. It would be so awesome. But, you know what? It's not.

Evil and good seem to coexist and while there are times that we feel or witness one or the other winning, they both have their days. They both bring advantage and sacrifice. They can both bring pain and pleasure.

I'm kind of tired of both of them. I just want to let them fight it out and continue to do what I'm doing, but usually one or the other, good or evil, will drag you out and force you to dance. So just let me say this.

While I regret ever having left Tatooine, I will never join the dark side.

Like my father and grandfather before me, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Feel the power of that and turn with me now toward Him. From everlasting to everlasting He is GOD.  


Retrospect

I wanna go back. I am going to try. I cannot deal with the freedom. I absolutely hate it. You know what I'm talking bout right?

It has not even been a year since I decided to let some light into my closet and all I can think about is that I want things to go back to the way they were. After some reflection, I have come to the conclusion that I was better off inside than out. I was better behaved, I was more careful about the things that I wrote, I was less offensive to my brothers and sisters and in some ways, I was more submitted to God. This last one is a big deal. Coming out can be good for some, but for people like me, it just exposes all the other problems that were also in the closet and lets them out to run around for everyone to see.

So I am going back. I am going back to teaching my little class at church, to not bothering anyone else, to going to work every day and taking care of Dad. I will never again discuss the subject. I'm sure I will be able to ignore the elephant in the room again. I did it well for decades.

I have been told that once you're out, you cannot go back. Piffle. I know I can and I will.

I do not like the new Jeff Brady. He is a monster. He has no class. He likes to look under rocks. He's disgusting, mean spirited, uncompassionate and remorseless. He can't leave anything alone without a full investigation. He was better off when he kept everything to himself. He was safer and so was everyone else. Bring the shackles, lock him up and close the door.

Done.

Thanks Lord. It was a bad idea. I should have consulted you more last September and others less. How I allowed myself to be so mislead is beyond me. I am seldom that stupid. I guess I'm getting old and soft headed.

I think I need a vacation. I need to be invisible again. Nothing is more transparent than that.