Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Ruadh Gu Brath

Ya, that would be Gaelic for "Redheads Forever".

We are the rarest human beings on earth, averaging 2% of the planet's population. The only thing more rare than a redhead is a redhead with blue eyes. Red haired, blue eyed humans constitute about 1% of world population. It takes two recessive genes from two parents to create a red haired, blue eyed child. Most red heads have brown or green gray eyes.

But wait, there's more....

In an effort to figure out what is up with me - I'm kind of a headcase - I know you didn't notice - and if you did, thanks for not saying anything - I have been researching my gene pool to see if I am a biological mess or a just an environmental one. Turns out, the genetic markers for red heads can create a propensity for passion and drama that most never have to endure. Environment only adds to the mix and might be the match that ignites the red headed fires.

And so, inwardly, I burn with one thing or another all the time. Ain't that a bitch! So I write...Here are some facts.

1. Redheads are physically more sensitive to cold and heat. We are more sensitive to physical pain and pleasure. It takes 20% more anesthetic to put a red head below the pain threshold during surgery.

2. Redheads are more sensitive emotionally. We feel the pain and pleasure of relationships more intensely. All the emotions are magnified, sometimes in detrimental ways and sometimes for the good. When we are happy, we are exuberant. When we are sad, we weep and wail. And when we are pissed off, well...let's just say you will know you have a problem.

Less relevant facts...

3. We are more prone to Parkinson's disease.
4. We are more likely to be left handed.
5. We produce our own vitamin D.
6. We are prone to melanoma.
7. We do not go gray with age. Instead, we go from red to faded copper to a rosy gold and then gradually to white.
8. We have less hair than others, but each strand is thicker.
9. Red hair is notoriously difficult to dye, and why would anyone try? (Dude, you're a redhead. You share in the glory of God with Adam and David. Leave it alone.)  
10. We are funnier, angrier, happier, sadder, more sarcastic and sardonic and ironic than others. We are humans like you, but more so. 

Whatever. My personal experience as a redhead is one of repression, vile discrimination, harassment and cruelty. Because we stand out in life at every age, people are envious of us. The world's need for uniformity and conformity and redheadedness do not go together. The result is always conflict. We are misunderstood because we can be emotional and this gets magnified when people refuse to take us seriously or dismiss us. It happens. When it happens, be prepared. Wrath has red hair.

So am I upset about my gene pool? Am I ashamed of being a redheaded, blue eyed, SSA male?

I used to be.

Now? Not so much.

By the grace of God, I am not just saved,  I am one of the most unique human beings on the face of the earth.

The rest of you are just dullards.

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