Tuesday, April 12, 2016

The Lies

An elder in my church talked about lying during his communion meditation on Sunday. It got me to thinking about the whole issue of lying and how we use lies for protection, self aggrandizement and manipulation of our life situations. Lies are a ubiquitous part of our lives. We tell lies, we believe our own lies, we pass them on to the next generation. We even create our own lies about who we are in this world to fit whatever the collective consciousness of our local subcultures require.

It's interesting the lengths we will go to when we want to fit the model of our subculture. We will construct whatever "reality" is needed to make our lives work, even though that construction is based on lies. Some of this comes from who we are down deep inside. We examine who we really are. We see that it does not match the meme of the culture or subculture we were born into and so we adapt...with lies. We will construct stories, justifications, religious requirements and moralities to make this happen.

I have spent decades of my life trying to deceive everyone about who I am. The direct lie was never my approach. My methodology has always been deception through activities that make the real truth invisible and impossible to believe if discovered. I have used body language, voice inflection and physical control of my body to promote an image that was never the real me. For the most part I was/am successful. The only people that have figured out my real truth, my reality, without me actually telling them have been those that are engaged in the similar deceptions for whatever reason they might have.  It seems that liars and deceivers recognize their own kind. We know purposeful manipulation and distraction when we see it in others. Sometimes that works to the advantage of the liars and they/we will work together to keep the mythos alive for mutual protection.

I have been trying to get out of lying mode and this with some success. What I find is that I now have a low tolerance for others that are engaged in it. I just want to rip away the lying veneers that layer their lives and force them to show their cards. I am so tired of deception. I was never intended to be a magician, distracting people with sleight of hand and well placed words. People, especially those in places of leadership, need to know this about me. I am changing and there may be some collateral damage in the process. If your life is a tissue of lies and you interact with me or try to control or manipulate me for your own purposes, it will end badly. I am in a place now where I can no longer be embarrassed. I will cop to anything that I have done in a very public way if the accusation is righteous and true. I am not without sin even now. The difference is that I know this and, while I might have some guilt, shame and fear (of rejection) over it, I will spill it if it's true. So public accusation to distract others from your lies and veiled attempts at deception will not deter me from ripping off your layers of paint to get to your real colors. Bring it. I am ready.     

Then again....maybe this is all a deception to manipulate others and shift the fear. You just have to know how to work the system. Don't be tricked.  (;^))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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