I've been sitting at Caribou Coffee in Pleasant Hill by the fireplace while eaves dropping on a conversation between two apparently Christian women. One of them seems to be in the place of the counselor, advising the other and guiding the conversation.
The other is a woman that seems to have a glancing acquaintance with the faith and is at a difficult place in her life and marriage. She seems frustrated by the fact that she has nothing to do since the kids are in school and her husband is at work. She wants to get a job but no one will hire her; she wants to home school her kids but her husband does not like the idea. She wants to be a motivational speaker and increase the family income despite the fact that she stutters and her voice tone is akin to fingernails on a blackboard. She complains because they have a combined income of less than 2000.00 a month and she also informs all within earshot that she and her husband have not practiced their conjugal rights more than three times in the last six months.
The counseling friend should be a diplomat. Without being offensive, she manages to inform the woman that she has to be willing to take jobs that may not be high paying or glorious to gain job experience and move up in the working world. She also advises frugality in financial matters and to set goals that are at once within capabilities and reachable. There is also an implication that both she and her husband need to support the efforts and dreams of each and do what they can, working together for the good of their family.
They share phone photos and humorous family stories and then they depart separately and amicably.
My thought is that the counselor left to do something productive and that her days are filled with activities like this and that the other went home to watch Jerry Springer reruns.
I think there are people in this world that have no idea what their capabilities are and lack the motivation to do anything other than what they dream about or what they heard about on the latest infomercial. The fact is that many of us are not fit for anything but the most menial jobs. Despite our delusions of grandeur, our capabilities limit us. Going for your dream is one thing, having the necessary IQ points and natural gifts to make it happen is quite another. Despite the politics of the time, we are not all created equal. We are all different and at differing levels mentally, spiritually and physically. I could not play for an NBA team. I do not think I would ever be able to do brain surgery no matter how much education I received. I will probably never be a diplomat either.
When we become adults, we get ourselves in to life situations that we sometimes regret after a few years. I believe this woman is reconsidering her options to explore the dreams she had prior to her marriage. This is unfortunate. She needs to find a job, even if it's at Walmart, and help to support her family and she and her husband need to support each other in these efforts to move forward. I think that this is what the counselor friend was trying to get across to her, but she seems deluded by her dreams.
A grasp on personal reality is the essence of 'other' centered life I think.
What would I know about any of this? I am not married. I have had unrealized dreams, mostly because I lack the capability or there were many others far better suited for whatever it is than I am. I just think it's interesting that there are so many of us that live a completely different life in our heads than we do in the world.