Sunday, December 6, 2015

Gaydar Is Often Wrong....

Seriously. No matter how sensitive you think you are to such things, you will be wrong at least 70% of the time. This is of course my opinion. I will tell you why in just a minute, suffice it to say any number of witch hunts and false outings have been caused by straight people that think they have gaydar.

Y'all need to knock it off. Do not be speculating about people's sexuality based on mannerisms or the sound of their voices or even how they choose to dress.

I would go so far as to say that, even if you are getting a very strong vibe, do not believe it.  There are those that try it early on, but they do not follow through with the rest of their lives. They learn this is not what they want and pursue the opposite sex for love and marriage.

I have known many effeminate men that I was certain were gay and they turned out to be lifelong heterosexuals that that never had a gay urge in their lives. Loving wife; lots of children. I would say the same about women that might seem more masculine than might be considered normal. Most of these women are crazy about men and that's why they join in the sports play and so on.

You think you know? I would bet we could spend a week together and you would not figure out I was a same sex attracted person. You might think I was a nerd or some kind of weird academic, but I do not think you would figure out I was SSA without help from me.

And this brings me to my last subject. Do not out people. Whether you are gay or straight, do not do it. If someone wants to talk about their sexuality in a public way, please leave it to them. It is a personal matter. If they need to speak out, they will. They need no help from the cheap seats.

From my point of view, I have come to believe it needs to be known for accountability and to build transparent relationships. Others may not be there yet and if they are young, they might like to be left alone to decide what to do.

When I was 21 I would not have even engaged in this present discussion and I was a liberal back in those days. It was 1978. I guess that might have had something to do with it, but talking about it at any age is an extremely personal decision. So I would say, if it is not a major part of your life anyway, some might want to just leave it alone. And that is as it should be.

Some might ask if this is a Christian position. I have to say yes. If someone is comfortable with their secret and it does not inhibit them in their relationship building or their relationship with the Lord, then they should stay where they are the most comfortable.

Someone might say, "I'm certain that John Doe is gay. The church needs to know."

Silly rabbit. Why does anyone need to know? The only ONLY justification I can think of for outing someone is if they are some kind of sexual predator. Otherwise leave it alone.

Joe Christian might say, "I know John Doe is gay and sexually active and he's still in the church". Well, OK. If you know there is sin in John Doe's life, do you not have a responsibility to approach him about it and talk to him? Is it your job to talk to everyone except him about it? And what if these things you are so certain of are wrong? Is it right to destroy a reputation based on what you perceive as good intentions?

Get a life people. It seems simple to say but, WWJD! Really. How would Jesus handle this situation? Would He start a whispering campaign? I'm thinking not.

Grace and Truth people! Be gentle and firm. Be sure of your "facts". Do all this out of love and not hate or fear.

In the meantime. Give up on the gaydar. You ain't got it.

The Ground Hog has spoken!   

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