I am tired. I am not physically tired, but I am tired nonetheless. I am mentally and spiritually drained. I'm exhausted. That's why when I was studying the Scripture for tomorrow's lesson, I ended up in tears.
In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says this:
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus is the only thing that really brings me comfort, peace and rest right now. For the Christian, I know that this is the way it should be all the time and maybe that's what He is trying to bring me to. I have to say that it is not always that way for me. I am not always at peace, I do not always feel the sense of rest. The burden's of life just bog me down sometimes. I forget from whence my real rest comes.
The really odd thing about this passage is that just as He says He will give me rest, he advises that I should take His yoke. He says it's easy and not so burdensome. I apparently do not understand what real burden is. Either that or I'm just not doing it right. There is always that possibility. When you're wearing a yoke, you are supposed to be under the control of the one doing the farming. Sometimes I resist the controls built into my voluntary yoke. I guess when I do that, I should expect pain to be the result.
Giving up control is hard if you are still a bit wild and undomesticated. I am not your average old ox. I kick against the goads frequently. Hence the pain.
What do I need to do to plow a straight furrow? I don't want to think about it. (There's a joke there if you know me.)
What I think is that I should go to bed. Some physical rest couldn't hurt.
I also need to re-access my yoke situation and proceed from there. Maybe I'm not wearing it correctly. I don't know. He makes it sound easy. It all feels more like taking up my cross. That makes more sense with regard to the pain. It also leads to death.
Oh well. I was looking for a life when I got this one. If I lose it for the right reasons, maybe I will find another one that has some rest in it and a properly fitting yoke?
That might be the point; dying to live for Him and finding rest in that.
Knowing a thing and doing it are quite different.
Just thinking out loud here. Have I lost you yet? Probably. It's okay. You are not broken like I am, so you would not understand. Ignorance can be bliss.
Did you know that once you get your yoke you can't take it back? If you do, there is hell to pay and I mean that literally.
Another good reason to get to plowin'.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Another day to act all normal and ok and keep up appearances.
I need to rest. Good night.