Tuesday, October 13, 2015

I Feel So Used

I am supposed to be on vacation. I had to go to work yesterday. It was not for very long, about an hour and a half, but it's just the idea. I was thinking, what would they have done if I had been 1000 miles away? What will they do when I'm not there at all and the company does not replace me?

It's nice to be indispensable, but it can get on your nerves after awhile. Everyone in my office is of an age where family emergencies and frequent doctor appointments are more than common. I am not exempt from either of those, but I always try to communicate what is going on if I have to leave. I recognize that the world does not revolve around me - (unless you know me and think, "he thinks the world revolves around him").

I suppose it's OK. I will get over it. Uninterrupted vacation is nice, but I will take what I can get. It's better than last year.

I believe I will go fishing again today. I might take some live bait with me this time. My shoulders hurt from casting the artificial stuff repeatedly. Carrying a minnow bucket will not help that though I guess.  I do like getting some sun, even with the burn, it feels good on this old body.

At some point, I am going to have to get out the work laptop and go through my emails before I return. I also need to write some reviews for the employees. They will be blessed. I am in a good mood. I seem to care about them. Hard to imagine, but I do.

I actually care about many things, some I should not. I have a concern about what others think of me. Up to a point, that's important, but there are times when that should not be relevant, even when you love the people involved. There are things they need to know and sometimes there is no nice way of saying them. Perhaps "nice" is not the proper word. How about delicate? OK. Sometimes I spend way too much time trying to be politically correct, both at work and at church.

Getting to the point is sometimes appreciated, sometimes not.

When people have agendas or are impulsive, sometimes they cannot be stopped with anything less than blunt, brute force resistance. That may actually be what they are throwing back at you. So be it. In their face it will be.

As a friend would say, it is what it is.
I just read this to myself and I seem to be all over the board this morning. Undisciplined random thoughts. I think that means I am too relaxed. That's what I need! Some stress to make me organize my brain before it becomes a mass of oozing, emotional jellies that vacillate from subject to subject without proper conclusions.


I'm going fishing.  

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