Knowledge is a weird thing. It's supposed to enlighten us, to make us more able, to help us clarify the decision making process.
However, when we receive new knowledge about the people in our lives, sometimes it does not always go well. They tell us something new about themselves; something we did not know about them or their past or about an on going issue in their personal life. Suddenly our opinions about this person change because of the new knowledge. Even though they continue to be the same person they were five minutes before telling us about whatever it is, we see them in a new light. Sometimes the way we treat them changes. It doesn't mean we don't like them anymore, but maybe we back off because we thought we knew them, but we didn't know "that"...whatever "that" is.
What we forget, especially in the Church, is that Christ knew them before they were born. He knew what they would be. He knew what struggles they would go through...and you know what? He still loves them and He treats them exactly the same as He always did. There is no new knowledge for Jesus.
This is an advantage that we, as non-divine human beings do not enjoy. New knowledge startles us all the time. It's part of the reason that I read as little news as possible. I cannot process it all, let alone adjust to it.
Even so, when it comes to these matters in the Church, we need to cut that person some slack. Maybe get to know them better. Find out who they really are in Christ right now with a view toward serving them. I have been very blessed in this way. I have been loved and served by my church in ways that I would never have expected when I came back to the faith.
This is an advantage that Jesus gives all believers. We can let the past go. We can live life anew. We can get our baggage down to manageable size and He and our brothers and sisters in the church can help carry that baggage and we can help them.
But this won't work if we do not trust each other and love each other. We need to do that regardless of what new knowledge we receive about a friend or relative or brother or sister in Christ. We have to move forward in love. There may be complications with this, but whatever it is, we have to move forward in love. Fear and distrust destroys. Love overcomes. (1 Cor 13 if you need a reference).
I am not an expert at being courageous, trusting and loving. I have spent much of my life in the other camp; it's filled with distrust, fear and even anger.
I cannot live that way anymore. This means I will have to take my heart out and let people see it, see who I am and share my struggles and victories. It's the hardest thing I have ever considered doing.I don't know if I can do it. But I am going to try.