Kind of in line with the previous post comes this one. It is an example of what I was talking about in regard to avoiding people to avoid getting hurt. This has happened within the last two years. I can not remember exactly when it started, but in some respects, it is still going on in my mind.
There is someone at church. He is in his early 20's. He does various things around church. Very active and involved. Seems to be a fine Christian. He tried to strike up a conversation with me one day and I walked away. This happened more than once. Each time I reacted negatively.
I get what I consider to be a bad vibe from him. Something is not right. It worries me. I will not be more specific than that.
I based my entire approach to his offer of friendship on a gut feeling. This is unfair, judgmental, and cruel. I have no way of knowing who he is because I did not try to get to know him. Again, I find myself ashamed of my behavior and embarrassed. It is not right.
Being the gutless wonder that I am, I sent him an email back in December trying to apologize. It was a poor attempt. I pointed out that while I was sorry, I did not think we would become friends.
What is wrong with me? What am I so damned afraid of? People want to be nice to me, to be my friend and I turn away because I have a bad feeling. Ghog needs to get over his bad self.
Is it too late for me to fix this?
I hate doing my laundry in public, but the washer is broke. What do you think?.