Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Managing Expectations

There are at least a couple of Rolling Stones songs that I have always appreciated. 'Satisfaction' and 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' come to mind here. I used to joke that these would be sung at my funeral. If you are someone that is perennially disappointed with the state of things, you would appreciate the intent of this music. Buyer's remorse is a common affliction in a consumer society such as ours and then there is the disappointment that comes after plans or intentions go awry. This is the worst...except for... when people let us down or when we perceive that this has happened. The things we expect from each other and the things we actually do are many times very different or are perceived that way. Some of this comes from a failure to understand one another or even bad communication. Some of it is a result of how much we care about what is expected. Mostly though, I think we always expect more than others have to offer. This is a failure to manage expectations. One person does not get what he wants; he expected much more than was offered. The other did not understand what was expected and offered something less than what was desired or something that was not desired at all. And there are some, especially in leadership positions in our world, that use expectations to manipulate and motivate or create covetousness or desire to promote themselves.

What I am saying is that we have to manage our expectations. As Mick Jagger informed me many years ago, we cannot always get what we want. Satisfaction will be elusive unless we manage our expectations. We will constantly be disappointed in everything; people, products, friends, family or even life will seem unsatisfactory.

I tend to be an idealist about some things, particularly spiritual matters. I have a 'vision' about how things should be. I have been constructing it in my mind for decades. I have written about it, talked about it and even taught it. I am genuinely shocked when people I respect disagree with it and I begin to suspect that maybe they are not as spiritual or as knowledgeable as I thought they were. Then I get angry when they embrace part of what I teach them and then do something that I see as a complete contradiction to my 'vision'.  

I fail to manage my expectations. Sometimes my expectations are unreasonable. There is also the possibility that I may be wrong.; oh...that hurt.

My friends are not the way I want them to be. They are just the way the are, as God made them. Who am I to be dissatisfied or disappointed? Who am I to disrespect them because I feel let down over something that I should not have expected in the first place?

I hope you see where I am going with this. What we want, what we need and what we get are often three different things. We have to deal with it and not become despondent or angry or judgmental as we do that. Manage your expectations and your relationships. Do so in love. 

Monday, July 25, 2016

Withdrawal

It's an interesting word. It's what you do at a bank or it's when you're jones'n for another hit or it's when you deliberately separate yourself from from others. Context is everything when one is engaged in withdrawal.

My concern here is with the last definition. Withdrawal has always been what I do when I can't make life work. I separate from people and sometimes the people I need the most. It's never a pity party as you might think it would be. It is time to think, to re-access and to regroup. For me, it's time off from reality. Things happen in life that I do not understand or that I understand and get PO'd about. It's at this point that I become unpleasant. Ya, hard to believe, I know. Sometimes I overreact.

Late spring was like this for me. I had to run away for awhile. I'm still not quite right, but God has been watching over me through the process. I hope He will shake me loose from my mental stare here soon. He has sent a wide variety of people to my rescue me, or at least I have interpreted it that way.

I am at a point where I am deciding if I'm ready to rejoin the group or..or if I need to join another group. I might just need some more time in the desert too. The heat and severity of the desert often brings clarity.

Perhaps I should explain lest you think I'm being cryptic.

Is it time for me to resume my teaching career at church? A new quarter is approaching. Am I healed enough from my recent bout of apoplexy to serve without serving myself? The answer should be a 'no brainer' I suppose. For me, it's a confusion of fear and doubt with a major dose of pride and arrogance.

I'm still kind of crabby about things.

Then there is the withdrawal. This time, I mean I want another dose of what always and inevitably makes me feel so good. I just love teaching other Christians. The interaction of the classroom brings me joy like nothing else. I want it back.

Those who have a say in such things at church are ready I think. I guess I just have to figure out if I am ready.

Lord, I'm getting restless. I need you to help me get my groove back. There is stuff that needs doing and me doing it....right? Let me know in some way if You agree. Thanks for seeing me through this. I know I am one of your more difficult children. Please assign my stubborn heart a new task. I love you Lord. I look forward to hearing from You.                 

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Family Time

Yesterday my Mom's side of the family got together at the club house of Griff's RV park. My cousin Joe and his wife did the cooking. Ribs, hamburgers and hot dogs with an assortment of pies and cookies prepared by everyone else. The BBQ'd ribs were particularly good. They were smoky, spicy and sweet all at once. Delicious.  There was a good group gathered for a hot day in July. We used to do this in December, but it made no sense when the weather was so bad. So it was Christmas in July. My mom's sisters and brother are pictured below along with Dad on the left.
Dad with Uncle Mike, Aunt Bev, Aunt Mary Ann and Aunt Fran
There were many other assorted cousins, second cousins and even some 3rd cousins. None are pictured here. Sorry. I will try to do better next time. A fun time was had by all.


Friday, July 22, 2016

Dilbert Truth


Odd That...

As a cultural observer, I find it amusing the way in which the habits of youth seem to trickle down to the older set and even to the elderly in the present age. It tells me that all wisdom is dying and that we learn nothing from the foolishness of our own youth or the silliness of our immaturity. In our dotage, we have tattoos needled to our hidden and not so hidden parts. We dye our hair unnatural colors of blue and green and magenta as if we were extras on the Rocky Horror Picture Show. We pierce our heads and other body parts in odd places that make certain activities more difficult if not impossible.

It's all just so stupid. My friends, we are old. We look silly when we try to look like the children of our time. And do you know what they will look like at our age? Like us if we were tattooed, pierced and dyed; a wrinkled, sagging mess of gray roots, flab and lack of muscle tone.

Is recapturing a misspent youth so important that we are willing to look ridiculous? Or are we so blind to our aging that we do not see what we have become when we look in the mirror? It's pathetic and I do not understand it.   

Age and seniority should be viewed as a crowning achievement. Instead we spend much time and money trying to hide our age and think it only to be infirmity and approaching death. We should be reveling in what we have learned, sharing it with the younger set and teaching them to prepare for the day. We need to stop living as youth simply because it is a youth culture. The days of "live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse' have passed I hope. When I die I want my body to be as used up as possible from life. Let there be a closed casket at my funeral because my remains are too ghastly, too scarred by age to be viewed by decent people. Or maybe just cremate what's left. I will certainly be done with it.

Friends, being old is good. Think of the things you have experienced and the things you have learned. It has been a rough ride. Now sit back and relax as your roller coaster car rolls into the station. Quit messing with the natural course of things. Only slaves have marked and pierced bodies. Leave it to others.


Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Election

Everybody on the right and left are clamoring about the unmitigated disaster that will occur if candidate A or B is elected and how this is the most importantist election ever.

I have one thing to say about that.

Piffle.

Is it not always this way? Are we not always on the precipice of disaster, doom, depression and gloom without any of them to save us? Piffle.

All of my life, during election time, we are told by candidates, media and political scientists that America's future sits on the razor's edge and that the future of our nation will be irreparably harmed if Joe or Jane Blow is elected president. I am so sick of it. They are like roosters and mad hens posturing in the chicken house over the state of the farm. They can make a real mess, but as long as the eggs keep coming, I don't care what they do.

Presidents are really as toothless as chickens whatever their political bent happens to be. They can do nothing without the cooperation of congress, the supreme court, the military and local and state governments. They have relatively little power even if they are great orators and leaders and can garner the support of even their political enemies. Most of them have been little more than opportunists seeking gain at the public expense by telling their supporters comforting things that they never intend to do anything about. What actually happens in the primaries, conventions and general elections has little to do with reality or the way they end up governing. Nothing gets done that cannot be reversed or even stopped. Presidents are really just figureheads that lead by the consensus of the  military-industrial complex. What we do in the voting booth has little relevance to actual governance. Instead we get power brokers attempting to extend the reach and control of those that actually rule and it is not the people of the United States.

I have not voted since 2008. Our votes are meaningless in my opinion. There is one bi-factional political party in this country all beholden to the same worldwide group of money/power interests that have been running the world since the early 20th century. These people are empire builders and their loyalty is not to the people of the United States or even the world. Their only interest is to keep what they have, build more wealth and gain greater control over the "slaves" and "useless eaters". In a world of robots, they will not even need us. Robots do not eat, they can be fixed and they do not vote or complain about long working hours or where they live or the miserable state of health care.

Trust me. When the time comes that the 'powers that be' no longer need us to create wealth, they will dispense with us post haste. If you do not believe me, Google the 'Georgia Guide Stones'. Their plan is right there in full view of the public. When the time comes, hope that you are necessary to their needs, because if you are not, you will be done. They think we are their property to be used or dispensed with. Whatever.

Perhaps you think that this is the paranoid ramblings of an old man or that Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton will help or protect you. I'm good with that. Live in ignorance. It might be easier. Let CNN or Fox or Rush Limbaugh or MSNBC dictate what you think and do. Be a tool for the Tools.

It's all piffle I tell you! Unplug. Disengage. Stand back and take a long look at the big picture. You will realize, as Barry Goldwater said, "in your heart, you know I'm right".

So what's important then? Jesus Christ and His Kingdom. Everything else is just piffle.

Now you may return to your hand wringing over politics. Good Day to you!              

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Hardest Chapter in Paul's Letter to the Romans

Paul's letter to the Roman church has to be one of his most difficult works. I say this from a personal standpoint. Maybe it's a piece of cake for you eh? If it is, you are missing something my friend. Go back and read it again. Study it. If you go away unconvicted, maybe you do not need salvation.

A little sarcasm and irony there.

I used to get hung up on chapter's 8 and 9 as I tried to apply Paul's advice to my personal life. I would ask, if "God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose", then why did He make me this way (9:20,21)? What I missed, failed to grock, did not understand was, "It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy" (9:16). I was consumed by what seemed to be the unfairness of it all. I still chafe a bit when I think about it. Never mind that all flesh is broken and corrupted by sin. That's not my fault. Why should my life be as it is? Are you telling me, if it wasn't this, it would be something else?

The answer to that is probably and unqualified 'yes'.

I have had to accept this. Regardless of who we are, the only way to God is through acceptance of His grace and mercy.

So what about the desire for what is sinful or out of line with God's will? I have sinful desires everyday. My worst is the desire to inflict my unrelenting will on others because I think I know what is right and I know you (whoever you are) are wrong. It is a sin, yet I revel in correcting the errors of others as if it's my divine purpose. Most of the time there is no love in it and there is a place and context for such activity, but I do not present it well and I derive way too much pleasure from it.

Odd no? And then there is the other stuff which I have talked about here and beaten to death and which stands in stark contradiction to my self righteousness. It sort of brings it all into focus and points to the undeniable fact I too need God's grace and mercy, that I too am in the wrong. Lord, that is painful. I hate to be wrong. I hate to admit it. Why is that? Why am I so loathe to seek Your mercy and grace when I need it and why will I not extend it to others? Heaven help me. May it never be.

And that brings me to Romans 12, the hardest chapter in the entire letter to this point. It sets the bar way high and I think maybe it's so we we will realize just how dependent we are on Him.

  Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Now, my first thought is, how realistic is this? Jesus is all these things. He has been here and done it. We are supposed to be like Him as much as that is possible, but how much of this is possible?

What I find is that all of this is possible from time to time, but I can never get it all together at once and then live it consistently. What kind of a living sacrifice am I? Either I am transformed or I am not. Can I vacillate back and forth in a constant flux of transformation without missing the mark? Or is this merely the standard which I must apply as I depend on His grace and mercy for the rest of it?

This is a problem. Consistency is important. Why can't I be perfect? I want to be...I think.

I would guess you aren't there either. Right? So what do we do? Will it only happen after we are dead?

In my advanced years, I have concluded that yes, we will not become perfect until resurrection day. The flesh we currently occupy is corrupt and dying. We cannot allow ourselves to die with it so we must....must throw ourselves on the mercy of God's love. That process is outlined in chapter 12. It is difficult. More difficult for some than others, but it is the only way. It is not magic. It does not just happen. We have to participate in our transformation as we surrender our lives and wills to Him.

Surrender is the key. Submission is beyond the door. Everlasting life is in Him and His kingdom. This is the hardest thing when you are a bit self righteous like me. It has been my lifetime battle. I want to know and do His will, but I can't because mine is in the way. I'm not sure how you shift something that big. God will have to do it. I hope it does not hurt. Sacrifice can be painful.    
     

Sunday, July 17, 2016

God's Grace and The Irresistable Power of His Spirit

I witnessed the power of God's Spirit bring grace and healing to someone this morning in Sunday school. It was a beautiful thing. Many of us have walked alone with our burdens for a very long time and it is not easy to open up and talk about them or where we have been or what we have done or what we feel shame about.

For spiritual healing to become reality, we inevitably have to do this for ourselves and for those around us. The guilt must be removed or the healing process never completes itself. More importantly, our struggles are relevant for the healing and even instruction of others. We can go beyond sympathy to empathy in our spiritual battles. We relate. We have been there and we can help. God can and does forgive, but we have to forgive ourselves. Who are we not to forgive ourselves if God has forgiven us? Who are we to say that His grace is not sufficient? When we learn to forgive and love ourselves,  it's only then that we can learn to love others as Christ loves us.

Once accepted, God's grace is an amazing thing...just like the song. Often we think of His grace in terms of sin - the power of forgiveness or the power to resist. What I am coming to believe is that His grace is the power to be and do what He always wanted for us.

When the realization hits you that your sin is gone, your secrets are known and He and your brothers and sisters in Christ still love and accept you - the sky becomes the limit. You begin to break through to the other side and really live with and through Him. This is the sweet spot of faith. It is the place to be.

Paul put it this way in II Corinthians 12:7b-10

  Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

We all have some kind of thorn in the flesh as Paul calls it; something we do not talk about, that we are not proud of or that may cause us all kinds of emotional and mental anguish or even very real physical pain. 

We need to take it to the Lord and to our brethren and share it. We need to let Him heal us. We need to accept the grace God gives us and move forward as His new creations becoming what He always wanted us to be. We need to love ourselves and each other as His body on earth. His children. This is where we start to become effective for His kingdom.   

There are many inside of church culture today that do not get this. They have led sheltered lives for the most part and cannot relate to some of the suffering the rest of us have to go through. They do not always understand or empathize. I envy them their sheltered lives in some respects, but I thank God for using the events of mine to teach me and enable me to help other wounded warriors. Some of us have been willfully rebellious and angry sinners. Others of us came to despair over things which we had no control. Still others of us experience a mix of both. I would ask our sheltered brethren, please bear with us as we grow into what came so naturally for you. Stand by and watch as the miracle of God's grace unfolds before your very eyes. There are many of us out there. I think we out number you now. God is turning us into His Church. Think about the future. We are it!

May His Spirit watch over us and empower us as we move on toward eternity.

I love you Lord. Thanks for today. It was perfect!   

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Do You Hear His Voice?

John 10:25-30

25 Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, 26 but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all[c]; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”

It's an amazing thing. Throughout my entire life He has called to me in various and sundry ways - through life situations and events, through people and in my thought processes. In times when I was far away from Him I have sensed His presence. Looking back, I can see how He has watched over me, even in my willful rebellion, guilt and shame. 

I am a believer. I cannot help but be so. He has a hold on me and I can't break it. I have tried. I know as surely as I once had red hair that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I hear His voice through His word. I hear it in the lives of my brothers and sisters in His church. I see His grace played out in my life and the lives of the newbies to the family of God. His existence is proven through the transformation He brings to His people. Jesus sets people free. All it takes is a little faith. 

All of that brings me to this. If you are a believer and you are feeling insecure for whatever the reason, you should not. Take some personal inventory and go to Him in prayer. He will help you get your mojo back. If you are not a believer, but you have an interest in Him, Take a look at His word. Read the gospel of John. Read the gospel of Matthew. Learn about Him and His teaching. It is an incredible thing. Find a group of believers and ask questions. Pray to Him. Then, if you want to know what to do, read the book of Acts. It will tell you what you must do to join us who love Him. He is waiting to hear from you right now.    

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Free

There are things in life that oppress our spirits. They burn at our very souls. We are tormented by them. They can be physical, they can be emotional, they can be spiritual or they can even incorporate all three worlds, making a normal life seem impossible, whatever normal is.

At the root of it though is always something spiritual. Many refuse to recognize this.

I have known many people that have faced varying degrees of challenge in their lives that went from the oppression I speak of in the first paragraph to total and consistent joy. The joy did not come from resolution to their oppressed states. It came from outside themselves, from interacting with others and pointing themselves toward God and more directly, Jesus Christ.

Do you want to be free? Seek Him out.

Luke 13:10-13 
10 On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, 11 and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. 12 When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, Woman, you are set free from your infirmity. 13 Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.

John 8:34-36
34 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

We are oppressed regularly by our common enemy. He can create physical, emotional and spiritual anguish that seems impossible to overcome, and it would be were it not for Jesus. We are not alone in our journeys. We need to take advantage of what our Fellow Traveler has to offer. He can set us free from so much, take us to spiritual heights that we have never reached and enable us in ways we have never been able.

He wants us to be free from whatever is binding us, keeping us down or keeping us from becoming what He intended for us to be. The possibilities become endless once we are free to consider them. 

Also, I would offer a warning to those seeking the freedom Christ offers. Do not be fettered by well intended brethren that want to shackle you in other ways. Refuse to be contained by their rules and regulations. Follow only what was originally set down in scripture and express your freedom as you are led by the Spirit. Be truthful with God and His people about who you are, about what you think and feel. If God wants to change you or them, He will. 

Break free and grow. Become part of God's Royal Priesthood and not mere sheep to be herded about by the control freaks. Live as Christ intended. The sin is Gone. He took it away. Only victory lies ahead. Let's live that way. Let's be free.    

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Carl Sagan Said...

He often got things wrong in my view, but the statement below is right on the money. It's why there is a Donald Trump and establishment Republicans cannot figure out why. It's why there is a Hillary Clinton and we cannot get rid of her, even when she clearly violated the Law. It's why we have Bernie Sanders, who is now bending over backwards to support his nemesis. The world is a mess and it's because of ignorance.



I'm A Bit Wordy

I just took a vocabulary test. Seems I'm a bit wordy. I would apologize but I like it. Here's how I did below. Not bad eh? Here's the link. Go take the test. http://www.arealme.com/vocabulary-size-test/en/

Your English Vocabulary Size is:
29975★★★ Top 0.12%HighLow
★★★ Top 0.12%
You are Shakespeare! You can even create new words that will expand the English dictionary.

Monday, July 11, 2016

I Have Become All Things To All Men

Yesterday's sermon came from I Corinthians 9:19-27. The preacher can correct me if I am wrong, but the basic thrust of the homily seemed to be, "do not disqualify yourself from the prize or discredit the Christian message by your own behaviors". 
 
19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
 24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Paul always did what he had to do get his message out, save people and set up new churches. He would try to relate to people in their own cultural setting, which was many times sinful in Judeo-Christian terms. It was a difficult task at best. He would, many times, anger his own people, the Jews, as he brought them the Word and I can think of at least once that his work caused a riot among the Gentiles - that was in Ephesus. So while he tried to become all things to all men, he was not always successful, at least in the short term.

He was a tower of self discipline. I am sure that his upbringing and education as a Jew and Pharisee was very helpful in this regard. He learned how to say 'no' to his own flesh from an early age and obey God's law. His skills at self discipline are at least partially responsible for his success. And self discipline is definitely a learned skill. Many people do not have it or ever learn it.

But Paul also had something the rest of us do not enjoy. He had the Holy Spirit's power in his life in a way that we cannot understand. It enabled him, in ways, supernatural, to be able to convince people of the truth and also behave himself. It made him the preaching and teaching machine that the church needed in it's infancy. 

I guess what I am trying to say is, were it not for Jesus and His power in Paul's life, Paul would have amounted to nothing from a Christian perspective. Jesus Himself had to intervene in Paul's life to change him from being a legalist Jew to loving Christian; from being a persecutor to preacher. As Saul, Paul had a big sin problem. He was one of the most self righteous men that ever lived.

Of all the things that can detract from your walk with Christ, your witness to others and can disqualify you from receiving the prize as Paul puts it; the one thing that stands out among all other sins is self righteousness. It is the behavior that blinds us to all other truth because we are convinced there is no other truth than our own and everything else is a lie. It creates an entitled smugness, a superiority complex and a desire to lord it over others, whatever 'it' may be. I understand this because I suffer from it. I also understand it because I have been mistreated by other self righteous people. It is a common and also deceitful sin.

It is easy to lean back in your pew or pulpit and be critical of the behavior of others that you do not know or know well. What's hard is empathizing with their behavioral struggles, maybe inviting them to church or even lunch or coffee. 

We can become Jesus to others or we can become Saul of Tarsus.

"I am righteous and you are not" is the attitude we need to avoid. How about, "I am a believer. Let me tell you what I believe in." Show them the righteousness that comes from God. It's the only thing that will change behavior.    

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Jeffery's Angels

I had dinner tonight with my good friends, Karla and Rhonda and Billie. We have a past together. We all grew up in the same church. We know the same people and we are related to them in strange ways through blood and association. We talked about many of them. We all went to Johnny's Italian Steakhouse over by Bass Pro in Altoona. We dined alfresco by the lake which I found myself wanting to fish. I also wanted to troll the wait staff. There was a couple of cute ones, but I behaved myself  as always. I think one of them might have been Mr Right, but they were waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to young for me. Back to self control...now...I seem to digress....
Looks kind of like and old man and his daughters. I told the waiter I was Mormon and these were my wives. He laughed, probably because he needed the tip. Dinner was good. I had the Parmesan encrusted steak and shrimp with broccoli and a couple Fire Trucker IPA's to drink (brewed in Ankeny, Iowa).  Rhonda had the same with asparagus and ice tea. Karla had the prime rib and baked potato plus water with a lime wedge and Billie had some kind of pasta with salmon and a Blue Moon. It was a lot of fun. 

I think we are going to the Fair in August. I already can't remember the date. Fortunately Billie put it in my phone for me. I hope that getting old is going to be like this. They all promised to come to my funeral. They are my angels after all. 

There were a couple of Angels missing. You know who you are. Someday maybe all 5 of us? I don't know. I think we need matching T Shirts.  

One last pic of my sisters in Christ. Love and help in places I did not expect. Thank You all for being my friends. Maybe we can all gum down some cotton candy at the fair (;^)))))))))))))))))))))))) I love You!
 That waiter in back looked suspiciously like Clark Kent.

A Week of Weirdness

It's been an odd week. Aside from the holiday, I have had two people missing at work this week in addition to two we've been trying to replace for 7 months and then I had my melt down night before last as I slept. I am glad to report that I slept well last night. I am also looking forward to dinner with my peeps tonight. That should bring some cheer back to Jeffery's dull life. (I speak of him as if he were not here.)

Actually, I'm hoping that dinner tonight will be the start of something monthly. It should be fun. I will be the only guy. Three women and me. I think we should look to expand the group further. No other guys but me though OK? I want to be the harem eunuch...the odd man out. I usually am that anyway.

I have to go pick up a prescription for Dad here in a few, then I think I will go for a walk. If God is going to talk to me, that's when it usually happens. I need to hear from Him. I'm still feeling a bit lost. The light is getting dim. Going to church tomorrow should help too. Usually does. I am so grateful to have such a place. It has much potential to become even more special than it already is. It has changed much since my youth. It has become much more graceful and open, but there is also a commitment to truth that I dearly love. If you are a Christ seeker, it is a good place to be. It's a place where they will listen as well as advise. This is the part I love. I hope to be teaching again in the fall quarter if it's allowed. My summer off is proving to be fun too though. I've been making new friends. Ya, I thought that was amazing too.

I will try to get a pic or two of tonight's festivities for the blog. I will post it here with permission (or maybe I won't ask). Sometimes it's easier to ask for forgiveness then it is to ask permission.

One final note. I hope Eric and Melissa and Kiley and Tucker got moved to Joplin safely. I'm still not sure why anyone would move to Joplin, but apparently they know why, so may the Lord bless their efforts and their new home.

I'm in one of my "I love everybody" moods today. I never used to have those. The Lord is changing this old man's heart. I will blog you later!

I think I will name our little group this evening...how about Jeffery's Angels? No? Oh come on.       

Friday, July 8, 2016

Mr Right

James 1:2-5
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I don't know about the 'pure joy' part of this yet, but I can tell you that testing does produce perseverance. It can also create cynicism. Why so many tests, when will I be done, how much longer before I pass muster? It all seems like one life long test to me. 

Do you follow what I'm saying? Do you get what I'm puttin down?

Persevering can make you tired, but you dare not sleep. Even your dreams become tests. Wrestling with God and His supernatural opponent can just wear you out, especially when you are sleeping. You see, Mr Right entered my dreams last night. I did not recognize him, so apparently we have not met yet, but he was hot, he was nice to me. He liked me. We wrestled. It's my favorite thing. Damn. It's not fair.  I hope he is just a figment of my slumbering imagination and not a real man. I will fall hard. If he exists, I pray the Lord kill him before I meet him. Save both of us the pain. You know, it's one thing to tease me when I'm awake. I can deal with that, but where do you escape to when you're asleep? I woke up a wet, hot mess. It was over. I pray it never happens again. There was some joy in it, but it was of the earthly, fleeting variety. I best not discuss it. Rough night. It was like being a teenager all over again. I'm 58 and I still have all my kinks in place. My thorn in my flesh was briefly infected.     

Can anyone tell me when Satan will leave me alone forever? Do I have to be dead and in heaven for a week? Being old is supposed to insulate me right? It's not working. Please pray I get real sleep tonight. Lord, send an angel. Drive him away from me, my house, my family, my work and my Brothers and Sisters. Please no more tests for awhile. I am not up to it.    

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Not Very Good At Being Gay - A Brief and Somewhat Cynical Synopsis.

I am not ashamed of this. You probably would not even figure it out right away unless you were like me - same sex attracted. I am not what many would classify as obvious. I suppose I do have certain 'tells', but unless you were paying attention, you would probably miss them. Other gay and same sex attracted people seem to catch it right away, but it's like they are not sure, so they don't bring it up or they do not want to discuss their own predilections, so why discuss it at all. Whatever.

I am not very good at being gay. I do not enjoy shopping, dancing, Judy Garland, high fashion or home decor. I could not decorate a grave appropriately. I dress comfortably, with absolutely no flair or coordination. I wish all my clothes were blue or black. Give me jeans and a tee shirt any day of the week.  And I  could care less about the latest pop stars. I do like show tunes, but I hate musicals. I am not what you'd call a gym bunny either. I am not obsessed with physical fitness. I really have no reason to stress about my looks. They are gone. No one looks at me anymore, except the occasional merry widow or divorcee that has not figured out that Jeff is not the man we thought he was. Go figure.

It all means nothing to me. I do not socialize outside of work or church with anyone that might be gay. There are some undeclared same sex attracted people at both places, and while we seem to know about each other, we don't care. I am the most boring gay man alive I think. I do not have gay sex. I do not have a boyfriend. I do not have sex at all. That definitely makes me the most boring gay man alive. Since about the age of 22 it has been this way with me. I'm almost 59 now, so you do the math.  This is not to say that I do not occasionally entertain the idea of finding a man about my age and settling down for those senior years. If I ever did such a thing, it would be a sexless, roommate kind of thing. A good friend for non physical entertainment and companionship. Finding such a man in my advanced years would be unlikely. Gay folks don't normally live this long. Besides, I currently live with an old man (my Dad) and it's not all it's cracked up to be. Just sayin'. 

Strangely, I am not as lonely now as I once was. I think age enters into it. Maturity. Enjoyment of solitude. I am also an introvert in most respects. Until recently, I have always been a very private person. Coming out at church changed that quite a bit. I have more friends now than I did previously. I'm not sure why. It might be that I feel more comfortable around people now that my secret has been told in such a public way. Whatever the case, my life is better than it was 8 months ago.    

Which brings me to this...

I seem to have girlfriends now and particularly at church and in the Christian world. There are women at church that never spoke to me until they learned I was a non-threatening male. Suddenly it was OK to talk to Jeff, to be his friend, to sit down over coffee and talk. I am OK with this. I like women. Some of my best friends have been and are women. They need to know right away though, I will not go shopping with them. If they're up to some fishing, that would be good. I would even go to a movie or dinner or both, but what you see is what you get. I am SSA. Short of a miracle, that will not change until I shuffle off this mortal coil to freedom. If I don't cut the cholesterol, that may be sooner than I think. Again, whatever...

Anyhow...in the gay world, gay men usually have a number of girlfriends. Call them what you like, in the gay world, they get branded as 'fag hags'. I kid you not. Some women will wear the tag like a badge of honor. Others are insulted by it and maybe they should be. I do not consider ANY of my women friends hags. I love you all for various reasons. Thanks for being there for me; helping me to get through this life with some company.

Most of the time, straight guys are wary to befriend a gay man, especially the older ones. I can deal with that. I understand. You think us SSA's look at you in the same you look at women...ya, you know what I'm talking about, and it disgusts you. It probably should, but most of us are not predators after straight men. Believe me, you are safe. The only thing that might make you unsafe is if you were not sure who you are. That might telegraph something else. Whatever the case, you will be safe around me. I am not interested. I know that's hard to believe. Trust me, I'm not. Old married guys are more boring than I am. Maybe that's a stereotype. I don't care.

Today, being gay is a younger man's job. Let me offer you young homos some advice. If you want to live to get old, you will need to stop 90% of what you are doing. That may be an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. If you're not going to give up the sex, at least protect yourself and quit sleeping around so much. No drugs. Moderate your alcohol use if you must drink at all. Settle down and get married...that's legal now. It's not got God's approval, but the state will OK it.

Surprised to hear me say that? Don't be. If someone is not a believer, who am I to deny them a legal choice? If they become a believer, we can deal with that at the appropriate time. We all make choices and we will all stand before the same God one day.

I'm not sure why I needed to talk about all this and I'm sure some of you are wondering too. I guess I will figure it all out later or someone else will tell me why. Y'all can be so helpful. In the meantime, enjoy the picture below in the spirit intended.

      

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Rising Strong

     MANIFESTO OF THE BRAVE AND BROKENHEARTED

By Brene Brown

There is no greater threat to the critics
and cynics and fearmongers
Than those of us who are willing to fall
Because we have learned how to rise.
With skinned knees and bruised hearts;
We choose owning our stories of struggle,
Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.
When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we run from struggle, we are never free.
So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.
We will not be characters in our stories.
Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.
We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.
We craft love from heartbreak,
Compassion from shame,
Grace from disappointment,
Courage from failure.
Showing up is our power.
Story is our way home. Truth is our song.
We are the brave and brokenhearted.
                                        

The Why of Suffering

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God. (1 Cor 4:5)

18 For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends. (2 Cor 10:18)

29 No, a person is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a person’s praise is not from other people, but from God. (Romans 2:18)

44 How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? (John 5:44)

  In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:6-8)
You may think you suffer unnecessarily by circumstances you have no control over. You may feel cursed by God and unduly burdened by you life situation. You might even feel oppressed by what seems natural to you since resisting it is so hard. Let me offer another perspective.

You are being refined for Glory. You are being prepared for The Day. Try remembering this next time you whine to God about your plight and thank Him for His work in you. You are precious to Him and he wants nothing short of full restoration for you prior to your arrival before Him.

Seek His Glory in the midst of trial and temptation and even failure. It will prepare you. Let Him use these things to make you what was intended from the beginning. Praise His Name for the work He does in our lives. Amen.

Bob Newhart-Stop It