NOTWIR is an acronym for News Of The Week In Review. It's from a novel by James Kirkwood. I think the title was "Some Kind Of Hero". He also wrote "P.S. Your Cat is Dead". If you want to read what I was reading back in the 70's, try one of those. My friend, Brian Kirkpatrick, from high school put me on to Kirkwood. Very enjoyable. My opinion. I know. Opinions are like anuses. Everyone has one and they all stink...except mine of course...just got out of the shower. But I digress...as usual.
So this week started poorly. I did not feel good. I was tired and mopey. I fell asleep at work. Bad dreams about being eaten by raccoons. Too cold. Too warm. Blah, Blah, Blah. After some thought, I put my ague down to bad mushrooms on a pizza from Sunday. When I got the mushrooms out of the fridge, I knew they had some age on them, but I used them anyway. The pizza went down nicely, but when it finally made its exit, I felt so much better.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but work has been a bitch this week. I got a new laptop with Windows 10 and a touch screen. Everything seems to be working OK and all my files transferred successfully, but I cannot print worth a shiite if I might be so bold. I receive these large PDF's in email daily that contain the day work from our Cedar Rapids office and they take forever to print. I think it has to do with the age of the copier that I print to. It is not Windows 10 ready. I got an updated printer driver for the new laptop, but that does not seem to matter. I'm thinking maybe the copier needs a driver or a chip set or something. A 40 page document will print at about one page every 5 seconds. That's a lifetime in terms of what is supposed to be a laser printer.
Then there's the drama. It's personal drama. It's "R" rated so you might want to stop right here unless you're used to me and my proclivities. Warm weather makes me horny. I know. Probably too blunt, but it is nonetheless true. I think it's because people dress for the weather. Men will wear gym shorts and a T-shirt. They tend to be nicely tanned with furry legs. I do not seem to care what size, shape, age or color they are. They all fascinate me. It makes me want to pick one, settle down and get married...I know I can't, but such is the fantasy as I sit in the Hy Vee parking lot watching the humanity pass by.
Last night, after work, I went to the Hy Vee in Altoona. I did my shopping. As I was checking out, I could hear it pouring down rain outside. I ended up waiting at the exit with a number of others for the rain to stop before going to the parking lot. About that time, two young guys in gym shorts and tanks in their 20's walked in and they were soaked to the skin from the rain. I think they had been out jogging. Their wet clothes gave perfect outline to their entire bodies. They were beautiful. Absolutely nothing left to the imagination. I smiled. I'm sure I blushed. I did not care. One of them smiled back at me. More blushing. Then they went about their business and I went to the parking lot. I did not care if it was raining. The cold shower helped a bit.
Does writing about this stuff help? Not exactly, but neither does holding it all in. That makes it even worse. I am a man that has no outlet for my desires, my need for the fleshly side of love. My brain and body tells me to go for it. It feels perfectly natural. But my commitment is to Another and He says 'NO".
Everyday I wonder why He made me this way. I know some of you will insist that He did not. I know that He did. How can I not feel the sense of unfairness in it all? Why can I not ask, "why did You make me this way?" There are days when I could just scream it out loud.
Why is this struggle relevant to Him and what am I supposed to take from it all?
"OK mouse, here is your cheese. It's different from everyone else's, so you can't have any. Nonetheless, here it is right in front of you. Don't you dare touch it or I will spring the trap."
Is there another way to look at this? Ya, probably, but when you're horny, it's hard to see the forest for all the men that are in the way. Mixed metaphors. This is what I have been relegated to.
Thanks for coming to my pity party. I do feel a bit better now. I think I will have a late breakfast. No cheese though.