Lost

There is a line in the last stanza of a song called "Hard to Get" by Rich Mullins that I can relate to in ways that most people do not understand. Here is the line.

I can't see how You're leading me unless You've led me here
Where I'm lost enough to let myself be led

The entire song makes for a good description of my spiritual life and I would encourage you to look up all the lyrics or maybe a video of Rich singing it. It is pregnant with profound meaning.

Back to the actual line though...sometimes we have to get completely lost on our journey before we get to the point where we are willing to let God drive. It begins with brutal honesty, first with yourself and finally with others. You then have to get out of the car, get into the passenger side and hand God the keys. Relinquishing control is the hard part because even if you are riding, you still want to tell Him how to drive.

I don't want to drive anymore. I want to go where He is taking me. I am now willing to shut up about His driving skills. I am now to the point where I just want to know if we are there yet.

It seems like everyone else around me knows exactly where they are going, but I also get the impression that they have not surrendered control to Him. They have their own destination in mind. I wonder if they are going to a destination that He would approve of. I wonder if they are hearing His Voice or if their own voices are drowning out the One.

We need, sometimes, to be reduced to our simplest form before God can use us. Some painful deconstruction needs to take place before rebuilding can begin. I think I have been through that and God is trying to build something in me and with me that can be useful to others. I feel like I am ahead of the the flock and even the shepherds in these things in some respects. Does that sound prideful and self righteous or is it possible that this is correct? If it is correct, then why will no one listen?

It's is because they are not lost enough yet to let themselves be led. I think they all may be there real soon though. Lord, please send them your Messenger for the time when they are ready to admit it. Take them gently and guide them. I will try to help if I can. I long for the day. I hope I am still here when you make life spring from death. Lord, you can do anything. I know you can do this. Make the rocks cry out so they will hear You. Shine Yourself directly in their eyes so they will see You. Blind them with Your glory and deafen them with Your holy noise. Please make them understand Who You are and what You want. In Your name Lord. Amen