Monday, May 23, 2016

The Perfect Place To Take a Leak

My grandpa used to have a baseball cap that he got from a radiator shop. It had the name of the radiator shop on it with their logo - "Smith Radiator Service - The Perfect Place to Take a Leak". The baseball cap would engender much conversation as well as the disapproval and derision of my grandmother. It served all the purposes that my grandfather intended when he wore it. It was funny. It was offensive to some. It was advertising that you would remember and it also kept bald heads warm. What more could you possibly want from a baseball cap?

Suppose you had such a hat. Can you imagine a world where bureaucrats sitting on an unelected commission could look at your cap and say you were not allowed to wear it anymore because of the way you wore said cap or that the attitudes it evoked were dangerous, insulting or unfair to those that did not have radiators or baseball caps?

Such is the world that we live in.

Some of you may be aware of the current kerfuffle over unisex restrooms, or more specifically the desire of federal and state governments to force schools, businesses, health clubs and churches to comply with regulations requiring them to allow the use of public restrooms and locker rooms by transgendered people. For example, if a man identifies as a woman, even though anatomically he is still a man, he should be allowed to use the restroom of the sex he identifies with, i.e. the women's. The same would be true for women that identify as men. I am not sure where you would go if you thought you were a dog...maybe outside to the fire hydrant? Yes, I digress.

And so we fight for the perfect place to take a leak. It is such an odd issue that has to be unique to our time and to this point in our history. Many are up in arms about it. Many women do not want to share a  public restroom with someone that is anatomically male. As a man, I really don't want to share a restroom with any kind of transgendered person. My thought is that if you need to use a public facility, you should go to the one that matches your body parts, even if you are in a dress and heels, taking shots to grow boobs. Until you are post op, you need to go in the place assigned for your current genitalia.

As a side note, for me, I do not want to share a restroom with anyone. I would ask that I be given my own restroom wherever I go so I can go. To me, the perfect place to take a leak is in solitude, with no one else present. I am pee shy...again I digress.

One has to wonder what the motivation is behind the whole thing. Why do they want us all urinating, defecating and showering together? What is the point of that? Is it a matter of rights and egalitarianism or is there another agenda for which these things are just a mask? Why is it incumbent on the general public to assist the transgendered in their transformation by allowing use of very public, but also very personal facilities that are assigned by sex?

There are other cultures, like Japan, where everyone uses the same facilities right down to public baths and saunas. I'm not sure what they would do if a trangendered person entered their facilities. I'm thinking they would move to prevent such an event. The Japanese do not have much patience for such things. I'm sure transgenderism exists there, but I am also sure they would never let it become a facilities issue, much less even talk about it.

It's also true that in most American homes, families will share bathrooms, though it is not traditional for family members of the opposite sex to use facilities at the same time; never mind any transgendered family members

There is concern by many over the safety of their sons and daughters in public restrooms. Pedophiles could and have masqueraded as transgendered individuals to gain access to children for sexual purposes.

Beyond that threat, can you see yourself sitting down naked on a locker room bench next to a man that identifies as a woman or a woman that identifies as a man? My thought is that this is a ridiculous scenario that someone dreamed up to create an issue. Even so, this is really happening too.

Again, I do not see why I should have to be involved in anyway in their transformation. If they want to use a public restroom or locker room, let them go to the one their current genitalia dictates.

No special treatment. If you have the standard 3 piece set, go to the men's room. I you currently have to set down to pee, go to the women's, Got it? Good.

In the meantime...Y'all need to start getting my bathroom ready. It will not say "men" or "women" on the door. It should say "Ghog" ok?  It's mine. It's private. No one regardless of gender or imagined gender may use it. I want a padded, heated seat on the crapper please with Charman at the ready. A bidet would be nice, but it's not required. The urinal should not be one of those that extends to the floor. Floor splatter is a menace.  A can of deodorizer, baby powder scent, should also be available. Thanks for your consideration. That should keep the Iowa Human Rights Commission busy for awhile. It's my right to have my own facilities where I am comfortable because I am like no one else that I know.

For me, that is the perfect place to take a leak              

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