Thursday, January 29, 2015

I Am Not Of This World

Sometimes I really believe that. I am not like other human beings it seems. I feel some sense of alienation in just about every place I go, be it work or church or even home.

And what is home for someone like me? It's a place to sleep and eat and wash before going somewhere else to do something else. The word "home" has little relevance for me.

I thought home was here in Iowa. When I came back in 1994, I thought that the longing I have for rest and peace would be satiated by a place called home.

To some extent it was. I found places and people I liked and I have been dwelling in this land since that time.

But there is still a longing for something else. I can't put my finger on it. It is illusive and elusive; just beyond my reach. I am close. I can see it from here and I feel like I have been looking for it all of my life.

Jesus knows where this place is and He is there right now, and that's the other thing. Even though I talk to him every day and I read his words in some form or even if I repeat it in my mind, I find that I miss Him.

Odd no? How can I miss a place I have never been to and a man that I have only met in the spiritual sense? And yet I do miss Him and the place where He is.

I think that's where I belong. That is where my peace is. That is where my home is.

Don't get me wrong. I have a very nice burrow. I have a good job. There are people here that love me, that pray for me and that care about me.

But I am certain that I do not belong here. There is a place, but it ain't here. I long for it more every day.

I know I am not of this world.