Monday, November 30, 2015

Empathy

I'm not sure who said this, but it's good.

"The torturer you should fear most is the one who sheds tears as he works."

I picked up that quote from another blogger and it was credited to R Scott Bakker, but I could not find proof of that. Nonetheless it is interesting.

If it's true, would this mean that someone who can empathize with you is in a unique position to make you miserable? Weaponized empathy. Now there's a concept.

I do not have much natural empathy. What I have, I have learned. Does this make me a sociopath? Well maybe, but it's not nearly as sociopathic as using empathy as a weapon. Still, the idea intrigues me. It's the cleverness of it I think. Using a virtue to harm someone is the ultimate in evil behavior is it not? I bet Satan has been doing this for millennia.

The things you can learn on the internet are awesome.

 Lisa Simpson: He's gone. Forever.
Homer Simpson: [still uncaring] And?
Lisa: I didn't think you'd understand.
Homer: [even more uncaring than before] Hey! Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

It Is What It Is...

That continues to be a popular expression in our culture because it captures so much about the way we process events. We see events that take place or that are in the process of unfolding and we do not question them. We just say 'it is what it is' and we move on and let others deal with whatever it is that is.

That's kind of what I'm feeling about yesterday. It was what it was. It was boring for my part. I sound like I am almost medicated in the video edition and I want to say that I was not...maybe too much caffeine, but that would be it. The sermon was good, but I was boring. I did not say what I would like to have said. Maybe it's good that I did not. I felt  kind of like a cog in machinery that I had no control over. That's Ok. It's over, very over.

There were many kind words and hugs afterward as there often is in the church setting, but I do not think this has really had time to settle in on the minds of the membership and what exactly it means for the future. I don't even know what it means and I was part of the machinery. There did seem to be much discussion in the church foyer around the coffee shop yesterday and the crowd seemed to have lingered much longer than normal, but that might be due to the fact that the service was long and 1030 Sunday school went past the normal release time. What they were talking about in the foyer may have had nothing to do with what we talked about in church. It was probably just the usual shallow conversation about new snow blowers and how bad Aunt Hattie looked at Thanksgiving.

I think when it all shakes out, there is going to be some resentment and anger to deal with. The people like me that were present are not going to be happy that I went public. If you think about it, I may have wrecked their peaceful lives. Anonymity has its advantages. I destroyed mine yesterday.  I am sorry if I endangered yours. I hope you will not fold up your tent. We need you, whoever you are. There were others there whose experience with gay people is not good. This mindset tends toward eradication. We are fine with having cockroaches as long as we do not know they are there. Once they make themselves known though, it is incumbent on us to call the exterminator.  Let me say that I understand that. I do not particularly like gay people either. They can be offensive in very creepy ways. They do, however, need salvation like the rest of us. It's amazing what God can do with us when given the opportunity.

I am dreading church next week for all these reasons.

If you are out there reading and you are Steve, I am sorry I could not do the coffee thing this morning. I needed to write this out to know what I thought. I was still asleep when you called, mostly because I could not get to sleep last night. My mind was in a fog this morning. I am finally waking up now. I try to be a morning person, but I am just not. Sorry Dude.

I'm sure that as the week goes on, more things will come to mind. My immediate assessment is that we did not do a good thing. We may have wakened a sleeping giant and filled him with great resolve...OR...  the rocks in the yard have been turned over. Nothing relevant to see there. Put them back. It does not look good having them turned over like that. More likely though, people will just move on and pretend like nothing has happened. That's what we tend to do in situations like this. I'm thinking that the entire effort was a waste of time and may have cost me something that I did not want to lose. I hope I am wrong. Maybe it's just the sleep deprivation. I need to go to work and not think about this anymore.    

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Finished

I have a sense that I am just about finished here. I do not say that to sound morbid and I know it's not normal to think in these terms, but I think I'm about done. I look to the future and I cannot see past my 60th birthday. I know that people plan all their lives for that time of life, but I see nothing. More to the point, there is nothing that I really want to do badly enough to stay here. I have this glimpse of the heavenly going on in my head and it seems so much more attractive than anything that is going on here.

I guess what I'm saying is that I will not fight when death comes. I will just go. We try so hard to stay here and I do not understand why. We are obsessed with it. As Christians, if we really believe what we teach about eternal life, why do we cling to this one so tightly? I don't know.

Please don't let what I am saying cause you concern. I have no issues with staying past 60, I just do not see a future. I think I'm going to be bored. I will confess that I have always been blind to these things, the possibilities that others grasp as they contemplate retirement. It's just that I am not as firmly rooted here (or anywhere else) as you are. Sometimes I wonder if I was ever really supposed to be here at all and maybe my presence here was some kind of bonus I was granted.

I don't know. I have always sort of lived day by day. I do not plan anything. Life happens to me. I let it. Unlike Peter in the previous post, I am not one to get out of the boat first. Sometimes I'm not even sure I was ever in the boat. If you don't understand that, it's OK. I'm not sure I do either.

I'm thinking retirement is not going to be that big a deal for me. My opinion. We will see.   

He Got Out of the Boat

Today in Sunday school class, we were studying Matthew 14:22-32. It is an account of the night that Jesus walked on the waters of the Sea of Galilee and out to the boat where His disciples were rowing against a high wind. Matthew is the only gospel that records Peter getting out of the boat. It went something like this:

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

First, Mathew makes it sound like an everyday occurrence - that Jesus would go walking on the lake. It's almost what you might call understatement. This is recorded in similar fashion in Mark 6 and John 6. I suppose it could be the result of the translation process, but there is little emotion. They just say flatly that He went out to them walking on the lake. There's no 'Wow, he went out to them walking on the lake' or 'Amazingly, he went out to them walking on the lake'. It's like it's no big deal at all. 

What follow though is instructive. I'm talking about Peter. Once he is sure that it's Jesus on the water, he is more than willing to step out of the boat and walk toward Jesus...on the water. It's true that he gets distracted by the weather, the wind and the waves. He does take his eyes off Jesus. He does start to sink. His faith is shallow even though the lake is not. But really, what's so bad about his intentions? He starts out well and aside from Jesus Himself, I think Peter still holds the all time record for water walking.

Jesus does pull him out of the water and they both get into the boat. Worship ensues. 

You have to wonder what Peter thinks after the event; what he is feeling, sitting there in the boat soaking wet and shivering. His best impulses failed him. He wanted to be like his Lord, but his senses betrayed him. Do you think he was embarrassed or ashamed of his brash forwardness and impulsiveness? Well, maybe, but would that be just one evaluation of the event?

This is my opinion, but I think Peter did well. Peter was more trusting in Jesus than he was afraid for himself. While the others cowered in the boat, Peter got out and walked toward Jesus. It was only his loss of faith in himself I think that caused him to start sinking.  Had he surrendered control of the events to Jesus completely, I think he would have been able to finish what he started.

My thought is that you live and learn. Faith and trust do not come naturally and neither does self confidence or a willingness to give up control. 

Peter learned much that night and so did the disciples. This was no ordinary Rabbi they were following. This was the Son of God.

Peter did well in my view. I would like to have known him. Someday I will.  

11/29/2015 At Church

Well, it's over. No negatives were expressed, at least to my face. I am sure that there are many, however, that had problems with it. It does strain credulity that a healthy man could remain celibate for 36 years. When you consider that for most of that time I hated myself and did not think anyone would want me anyway, then it becomes easier to see how I made it through those times.  If I were on the other side of this, I would be suspicious too I suppose. That's OK. I can deal with the doubt, but I can tell you, that with the Lord's help, I did this.

There were heads shaking in the 'no' direction out in the cheap seats. It's unfortunate that some have closed their minds and hearts to this. Again, I understand. My mind was closed to the idea once. I wanted to tell no one. I hated this part of myself. It made me angry at myself, at God and at Christians in general.

My thought now though is that God does not make junk. I was worth His Son's life. He loves me and if God can love me, then who am I to hate myself? I am a child of the Living God. No one or no thing can stand in the way of that except me. I will no longer let that happen and I will see you in heaven, so don't be saying, 'what are you doing here?'.

I think maybe the hardest concept for people to wrap their minds around is that just because you have the desire to do a thing, it does not mean you have to. I think this is because most people customarily indulge their desire and think about forgiveness later.

Do I sound like I am judging or is this an accurate picture of humanity, even those of us that are called saved?

If you were there today and this thing that I did is bothering you, have a little courage. Talk to me. Neither one of us is perfect. If you want to cast the first stone, bring it on. If you want to have some peaceful dialogue, I am really up for that. Lose the fear brother and lets talk.

I love ya'll.

The link to the video of the church service is below. The sermon starts at about 27:10. You really need the context of the sermon to appreciate the interview. Steve Rowland is a good preacher. Even if you disagree with him, I think you will like his style. If you don't want to sit through the sermon (not recommended), the introduction to the interview starts at around 49:35. After watching it, I think I looked and sounded kind of boring. I'm really at my best in Sunday school at 0800. There is also the fact that I was as nervous as a homo in church. Did I say that? Sorry. It's worth your time though. I'm just glad this part is over.

See ya in church!  

http://risingsunchurchlive.com/replays/
          

This Is The Day...Again

Today I will be bringing my "news" to the entire congregation during the church service. After a introduction that I hope will be uneventful, I will be interviewed by the pastor. It may go something like what is below. The interview questions are in red.       


     So, Jeff… Why Now…. I mean, you’ve been dealing with this part of your life for such a long time…. It had to have crossed your mind to just continue keeping it to yourself….  I mean after all, this part of your life isn’t a recent part of your story…   

From a personal standpoint, I am tired of the secrets and evasive conversations over my marital status. I would like to be able to explain to people my situation. I would like to show them where I have been and how I have dealt with this life I have been given.
I want people in our church to be able to discuss this or any other life struggle, temptation or sin that they are dealing with without fear of rejection and knowing that they have the support of their brothers and sister in Christ.
We need a church where no one feels alone in their spiritual battles. As brethren in the Body, we need to come alongside each other and support each other in love and grace and with prayer and the Word. There are many among us that need healing of some sort. Once that happens, the Body becomes more effective.
I am setting the tone here for a higher level of conversation, to encourage all of you to talk about whatever it is you struggle with to each other or maybe even a setting like this. If I can talk to you about this subject, then surely you will be encouraged to open up yourself about whatever it is. Let us get to know you as Jesus knows you. Do not fear. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed. Most importantly, do not say, "well that makes me uncomfortable." Jesus did not call us to be comfortable. He called us to love one another. John 13:35      

  Your story has to be kind of a surprise to people here…. I’ve been thinking a lot about what today would look like the past couple of weeks…. who would be here.. how everyone would take this news…. and the way I see it… there are four audiences in the crowd today…. and I’m curious what you would say to each one of these groups….       

OK

     Those who would say, “I don’t know anyone personally with this struggle” and why in heck are we talking about it in church????

First, you do know someone. Me.

Second, we talk about this today in the hope of bringing transparency to this and other issues within the church. We are all sinners saved by grace, and we all still face daily trials, tempatations and difficult life situations. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could help each other bear life's burdens, pray about them together and bring resolution and healing as needed? The Body of Christ needs to be healthy to be effective. We will be at our most effective when we know each other the way that Jesus knows us individually. That can be a bit scary, but it can also ultimately bring peace and contentment and joy.
Also...
I would say that you most likely do know someone with same sex attractions; it's just that they have never shared that fact with you for any number of reasons. The biggest reason is a fear of rejection and loss of love and relationship. The truth is that we are your sons and daughters and sisters and brothers and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and even in some cases, your mothers and fathers.
We are in your Church. We love Jesus. We need your acceptance and love like everyone else.

  The group that has family members who are either active… or have been active with this lifestyle….  Should they go to family gatherings, weddings…. 

For myself, I would say that I would not go to a gay wedding. I would not want to endorse this activity. You could argue that this would be a way to stay in the lives of these people so you could subtly remind them, especially if they claim to be Christian, that they have an obligation to Jesus first, that their chief identity is and should be in Him. However, I think the chances of changing anyone's mind at that point will be difficult. Just keep in mind that life has a way of changing people's outlook about things. Prayer for those people that need to wake up and smell the coffee can be effective over time. At some point in their lives it might be possible to bring them back to where they once were. Never underestimate God's desire or power to reclaim His own. It's why I am sitting here today.
As to family gatherings, bring it on. Invite them to Christmas and Thanksgiving and whatever else you are doing. Invite them to church. They need to see why we love Jesus and we need to be Jesus to them, bringing both His grace and His truth to the table. Disagreements do not have to be acrimonious. And who knows...you might make someone think twice. As I said, we must never underestimate God's desire and power to reclaim what is His.

                                                                            Introducing the Book Messy Grace - Page 148,149
                                                                              
                                                                       John 1 – Grace and Truth  
                                                                                John 1:14, 17

             The group…. Who this is their testimony….  They struggle with SSA themselves….

If you are a Christian that is struggling with same sex attraction, it is necessary for you to remain as pure as possible. You have two options that will keep you in good spiritual health if done correctly and with the power of God's Holy Spirit.
                                                                         Two options…

    First, there is Celibacy. Some would say this is a difficult path, and it can be that, at least early on in your fight. You will know if you can do it and whether it is a simpler path to your goal of remaining pure. It has been said by some that celibacy is a gift. It is strongly implied by both Jesus and the apostle, Paul. (Matthew 19:11ff and I Corinthians 7)
My initial reaction to this gift was that it's like getting socks and a toothbrush for Christmas, but you know what? We all need socks and toothbrushes. Secondly, I would suggest to you that it is a gift given by God like any other gift, whether that be teaching, preaching, leadership, administration, musical ability or whatever else you could name. If this is the case, then you want to make the most of your gift and use it to glorify Him. You want it to be the best. You want to present it to Him for His glorification as your sacrifice....that living sacrifice that Paul talks about in Romans 12. And it is not presented to God to gain favor or to earn salvation. It is presented out of love and respect for the things He has done for us in our lives.
It also needs to be noted here that, it is expected, it is required for those of us not married to remain in this pure state, whether you are a same sex attracted person or something else.
Sexual behavior of any sort is ONLY for a man and an woman in the confines of a marriage relationship. It's the way God designed it. Anything else is sin.

      Marriage the way God intended it…

Caleb Kaltenbach, in his book, "Messy Grace" calls this "redemption of marriage"; redeeming same sex attraction through heterosexual marriage. He talks about a married couple he knows in the book. The husband was someone that experienced same sex attraction, but he went ahead and married his best female friend anyway. Even though the husband continued to experience same sex attractions, he loved the woman and was eventually able to create a family. It worked well for both of them. Even though he still continues to have these feelings, it is a happy marriage with children.
Obviously, this never happened to me. I am not averse to the idea and if God wants it to happen I will not stand in the way of it. I am 58 years old though and at this point, I do not see the point. I have become accustomed to being alone, doing what I want, when I want to. Marriage might put the dent into that. Then again, maybe that's what needs to happen. 

      RSCC
                                                                       What does this mean for our church?


It means that we open up our hearts and minds and souls to each other. It means that we learn to love each other as Jesus intended. It means that when one part of the Body is struggling or even sick, the other parts help. We do not let body parts die because they make us uncomfortable or embarrassed or angry.
It means that we accept people for who they are, even if they are different from us. It does not mean that we accept of affirm their behavior whatever it might be. We share truth as gracefully as possible while working in the tension between the two which is love. We must become Jesus to the world and to each other.      

   When do you feel you were no longer defined by your past mistakes… desires.. actions… but you were defined by HIS work and not your own?

Defined? Everyday when I wake up, I wake up knowing I am a bit different from most men. But my sexual desires do not define me. It is one small aspect of the whole Jeff Brady. I am actually a pretty complex individual adopted and sanctified by Jesus. Saved by his grace through faith.
Jesus Christ is my identity. He set me free. He makes me what I am; a good worker, a good Sunday school teacher. a good writer and a good friend to those that have the patience. I am nothing without Him, but with Him, I am so many useful things. When put in those terms, sex takes a backseat. It's just not as important to me at this point in my life.


    So… speak to the Nature verses Nurture conversations…… and for those not familiar with those terms… the question has been debated with whether people are made this way from birth or developed this way by life circumstances.

So are we born this way or does same sex attraction happen as the result of environment? For me, it does not matter. Let me tell you why.

    For years I thought this was my thorn in the flesh, given to me by God to keep me from becoming conceited. Paul had his own thorn which God steadfastly refused to remove (see II Corinthians 12:7-10) for similar reasons. I say this, because my biggest sin in this life has been pride, self righteousness, judgmentalism. I still do battle with it. You would think a thorn like mine would shut me up, but it has not. And let me say here and now that if I have angered or hurt anyone here, I repent of it. I am truly sorry.
   I have also considered that my issue among many others is the result of the initial fall of humanity from God's grace. We are after all a broken race in need of salvation regardless of what our sin predilections might be.
    Some have suggested it's a genetic issue or even an in vitro issue, something that happens in the womb to the brain of an unborn child.
   There is also the notion of a spiritual genetics. That we are all broken in spiritual ways and some even more so than other.

   But none of this really matters because it's the wrong question. The cause is really irrelevant. Behavior, at least in the short term, is irrelevant. The focus needs to be on spirituality. When someone falls in love with Jesus, suddenly things become possible that were not possible before. When Jesus becomes the reason for life rather than whatever else it may be, changes happen. When your identity is in Him, everything else takes a backseat.
Getting there can take time, especially with someone steeped in unbelief or a life of behavior contrary to God's will, but it can happen. Preach the gospel. Show the world Christ and let Him take the harvest.
For years I blamed God for my situation. I held inside me a bitterness toward Him that only began to pass when I realized that no one is perfect. We all sin. We all need a savior. God has mercy and grace for all that believe. I could not forgive myself, I could not forgive God for something He had nothing to do with and therefore I could not love others. What's more, because of the nature of the desires I had, there were only a very few people I could talk to and some of them were not Christian.
I do not want to see anyone get into that kind of a trap. It is about as far from a joyful, victorious life as one can get.
Brethren, we have to bring down the walls. We have to help each other and we have to reach out to the world, to people different from ourselves. And Yes, that could get messy, but Jesus is calling us to that, to let the sinners into His church. It's a matter of obedience. We have to do it.

                                                                this question demands we focus on the problem and in so doing we tend to stay there… why not focus on the solution… the answer…. The Savior… Christ…. He is where all things should point… not the issue, this issue or any issue for that matter        

      So what’s next - Opening of our hearts and minds. Learning to love in ways we have not loved and living in ways we have not lived. Fearing only God and nothing else. Brushing discomfort aside.
     Hopefully Ministry and Relationship and a harvest for Christ

   Living Colossians 3 - Dressing Like Jesus

     

Friday, November 27, 2015

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Thankgiving

Lord, you have been the God of my fathers; the God of Will and Charles, the God of Lloyd and Charlie and the God of Dennis, and you are my Lord and my God.

I thank you and praise your name for the wonder that has been my life. You have been with me from the beginning, saving me from myself, from the evil one and others with evil intent. You have fed an clothed me. You have put a roof over my head. You have made sure I could find employment to support myself.

Most importantly, you have saved me from damnation and from the corruption of my own flesh. What more could anyone want in a God? Your power in my life inspires holy fear and a love for You that will never die. You are mine and I am yours.

In this hour, I would ask for your continued attention to the details. Lord, please finish the work that you have begun in me and in so doing, please give me a good finish. I do not know what is left for me. I am not a young man (and thanks for getting me this far). Please show me the path. Let me see your footprints. Help me to find the last door, the one that leads to You. I long to see you face to face, knowing as I am known. That will be a grand and glorious day.

Lord Jesus, thanks for all these things.

Your Servant

Jeff 

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The Door is Coming Off

On Sunday, the 22nd, in my Sunday School Class, I opened a door to a place that has been shut to most of the world and the church for a very long time. I let in the holy light of agape love and the Holy Spirit brought healing and understanding and a peace that can only come from the Holy One of God. I told my class that I am a same sex attracted person. "Gay" as they say today. I became as transparent as a man can get without cutting a hole in his abdomen. It was kind of like stitching a wound without anesthetic, but afterward the pain was gone. There is release in confession. There is accountability. And there is comfort that can only come from the One that knows us so well.

On Sunday, the 29th during the church service at Rising Sun Church of Christ, I will do it all over again before the entire congregation. I have mixed feelings about how this will go, but I am letting go of that and I am counting on the Lord God to open and change hearts and minds of His people; to promote love rather than legalism, compassion rather than hate and anger and grace rather than accusation.

Someone asked why I am doing this at this point in my life. The answer is complex, but first and foremost, I would have to say that I am tired of carrying this burden alone. I am exhausted from avoiding conversations with people I love and want friendship with. It is very hard to have a relationship with people if you feel you cannot talk about where you have been and why certain things in your life are what they are. It is a life of pain and loneliness that cannot adequately be described with words. It does however, draw you closer to God. There are some advantages.

Beyond that, I do not want anyone to have to live a life like mine has been, always keeping your most personal cards close to your vest. I have, for some time, had this dream for the Church where we are all transparent to each other; where the church becomes a place of spiritual healing and light in our world of darkness. It should be a place where there are no secrets, where we can talk about our trials and temptations and even our sin and seek out the support and prayers of our brethren.

It is time for the doors to come off of all of our closets.

You also need to know, even though you may believe otherwise, that there are others like me that are close to you that love the Lord Christ just as I do. We are your children, we are your nieces and nephews, we are your cousins, your aunts and uncles, and in some cases, we are even your fathers and mothers. We are you brothers and sisters in the Lord and He loves us. He gave His life and blood for us and we are loved and cherished just as the rest of you are. His grace and His peace will be upon us too on judgement day because we are saved.

So I give you this challenge. It is 2000 years old. I pass it along from the Source. Jesus said,

     34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

We must all give up our alternate identities, love each other and cling to our Lord. We are called to this as His followers.

Brethren, if you are reading this, I beg you please, on Sunday please join me and come out of whatever closet you are in. It may not be one like mine. It might be something worse or not so awful, but we cannot help each other or love each other properly if we live our lives behind closed closet doors. Come out now. Come out as a Christian. Do the will of your Father in heaven.

Lord Jesus please overhaul our souls. Make us complete. Help us to love as you have loved us. In your name I pray this. Amen! 
  

Monday, November 23, 2015

Dress Like Jesus

I want the Church to be like this....

12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Apparently Paul wanted this for us too. He is telling us what to wear here. Spiritual clothes that tell the world who we are. We are to wear compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Christian, are these things in your wardrobe? If so, make sure you wear them. Many in the world believe we do not have these things or that we only practice them on Sunday when we are with each other. There may be some truth to this 'eh? Maybe?

The outer garment though, is the most important. It's the one everybody will see first. Love. It pulls the ensemble together in a way that makes it impossible for us to look bad. It makes us a spiritual fashion plates. If we are dressed as Paul suggests, we will set fashion trends in a way that will change our churches and change the world.

So, the way you dress makes a big difference doesn't it? Further to the point however, these spiritual clothes need to be a part of who we are. We need to wear them every day so people will know. After a while, they may look care worn and used, but that's the way Jesus wants them to look. They are designed for the toughest weather and the harshest environments. If you put these on, you will never need another set of clothes again. The best part is, if your  compassion is becoming thread bare or your gentleness has holes, Jesus will patch them for you. You will always look presentable.      

Dressing like this can bring peace. You never have to worry about what you are going to wear. Be grateful for these eternal clothes. They are of the best textiles. When you look this good, you will always have a song in your heart and His Word in your mind. Everything you do will be dedicated to Him.

So Christian, if you are just getting dressed this morning, look in that closet again. Put on the clothes Jesus gave you before you go out among them. You will look good and feel great. You might also impress someone that will wonder where you got those wonderful garments. If they ask, bring them to the store next Sunday. It's a great shopping experience.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

This Is The Day...

Ze He yom a sa ha shem nogila adonai vi nis ma ka ha vo

This is the day the Lord has made
Rejoice and be glad in it

The Lord has blessed me yet again today with the love of my people. His people. I love Him and I love them. Family and friends in my Adult Sunday School class accepted me as I am today, even as He does.

Unconditional love is a marvelous thing. Earning someone's favor is not. I think I have finally learned the difference.

Next week we persuade the church.

Imagine a church where people know each other the way Jesus knows them. No secrets. No lies. No more pretending.

Onward to victory!

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

A Prayer for Tomorrow

Lord, I know I always need your help, but tomorrow is a pretty big deal. It could be the beginning of many good things, so I am going to ask you for your intercession.

1. Please open the minds, hearts and spirits of my Sunday school class with Your Spirit. Please help them to see how transparency in our lives with each other could be more than beneficial. It could bring spiritual purity to many that are hiding and in sin or trouble of some sort. Help them to see ministry and not discomfort and embarrassment. Help them to see healing and not shame. Cause them to look to the future of your church and show them Your hand in these things.

2. Lord, I would also ask that you invigorate my spirit. You know I have been having some major mood swings and it is not helping this process. Please bring healing to my mind and my spirit. If it's a brain chemistry issue, please give me some healing. If there is any indication that our common enemy is involved in that, please remove his influence from our presence. Send your angels to encircle us and protect us from his attacks and rebuke his interruptions.

3. Lord, please help me with what to say. You have done it so many times before. Please do so again. Help me to be gentle and meek and not angry and self righteous. Help me to love. You know that's not my strong suit. Let's consider tomorrow as practice for bigger and better things.

4. Lord please bless and guide the leadership of our church and most especially those that will be present. Please invigorate their spirits to speak for You as necessary at any point in the discussion.

5. Lastly Lord, thanks for getting me this far. Last night was really bad. This is just not my favorite time of year. Way too much darkness for me. Also, I am still craving reassurance that this is what you really want. I have a concern that I am doing this just for me; so I will feel better. I probably will feel better, but I want to be sure my priorities are in line with Yours. We are also going to need to know where to go with this after. Is that up to us or do you have something in mind? Please show us what that may be.




Thanks Lord. In your name I Pray, Amen  

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Gratifying the Flesh

11 And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. 

That last bit there..."do not think about how to gratify the flesh"; do you have any idea how difficult that is?

Well of course you do if you are a Christian. If you are not a Christian, it might seem like the normal course of events, but for us Christ Seekers, not so much, or so it is hoped. 

Gratifying the flesh includes an encyclopedia of things. It ain't just sex he's talking about. There's the food...yes food. Ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, bacon and anything wrapped in it, cheese. All very gratifying. Eating is wonderful. Unfortunately, many of us live to eat rather than eat to live.  We end up bigger around than we are tall.

And there's alcohol. I gave it up. Had nothing to do with anything spiritual. I always say all things in moderation. But it's an offensive thing to my father who I currently reside with so I gave it up. I already offend him too much in other ways. I do remember though always priding myself on the fact that I only ever had two adult beverages a day. You have to be careful though. Beer is tricky. It comes in 12, 16 and 24 oz cans. Two of the last ones there and you start to get more than just a bit smiley faced if you know what I mean.   

There's also drugs legal and illegal. Just remember a prescription will not prevent recreational use. Watch those pain meds. Do you really need them or do they make you feel better in other ways? Just think about that. I still occasionally get the urge to get a tattoo, grow a pony tail, move to Colorado and get some special meds for my arthritis or whatever else I can use to justify it.

The flesh is a tricky thing. When it feels bad, it pushes us to self medicate in ways that are sometimes self destructive. Bad brain chemistry can do this. Depression can do this. Mental illness. Sexual issues.  Simply the desire to avoid the realities of life can do this. There are  many ways to self medicate and I have mentioned a few here. 

The best way to avoid the need to gratify the flesh is to stay busy. Do productive things. Create. Or maybe even help someone or some charitable organization. Go on a mission trip. 

Distraction is the ticket. Sometimes a higher quality of company will work - new friends. 

If you are feeling the urge to over indulge yourself in something, back away from the freezer, put the ice cream scoop away and go outside and get some exercise. Go fishing. Call a friend. Go to a movie. Busy the mind and use it as intended. Don't feed your head with anything that will make it dull or your body with anything that will make it die prematurely.


Why do I know about these things you ask? Brother, let me tell you, I know how to gratify my flesh. What I'm learning now is how to feed my spirit. It is fun on a much higher plane. I can't really explain it with words except to say, I am left with contentment and joy in ways I have never experienced before. Jesus does that for me. And while He is addictive, he is not dangerous.

Matthew 11:28 ff
 
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

I Am Yours To Save - A Modern Psalm

Lord, you made me to be free
To live, to love, to create and to build
And to glorify you in all the things that I do
I am the work of your hands
I am the reflection of your desires

You share your Spirit with me so that I will know all these things
I am left in awe by your power; Your knowledge and wisdom inspire holy fear
You know me inside and out; It is both terrifying and glorious
You consume me with your passionate embrace
To know I am yours, filled with the life you give me
This is what I am for; This is why I live

Life's struggles come and go, but you are always there
You never fail me, even when I fail You
You stand with me, even in my shame and guilt
You bring light to my dark world so I can see these things
Why You love me is beyond me, but you do so all the same
Your well of grace seems bottomless and I am a thirsty man

I have tried to escape You, to reject you, to hide from you
But You will not let me go from your side because You are always by mine
I've been to the dens of the wicked and to the houses of Your Saints
And you are always there with me when I sin and when I pray
You refuse to let me die the death that my flesh seems to crave
My brokeness is Yours to fix if you can bend my heart

Lord I cannot live without You. I am resigned to that
But it's been hard to be here all alone while I am in this crowd of strangers
I know the love that You denied me, You have returned it seven fold
I try not to be angry; I just want to be whole
The sweeping pain of loneliness sears my soul with Your mark
But I am not alone; I know you understand my pain

You know what it means to feel love that is denied
You have felt the crowds rejection, You've known loneliness at night
You know what it means to spend a night in fear
To cling to All that's good and do what's right in the face of evil
For this alone I will choose You, because you understand me
I know that you will always love me despite my inconsistency

For this I thank You and I praise Your Mighty Name
You will be my God and I will be yours eternally
I will use the gifts you give me and I will pass them on to others
I will teach them to learn from your grace and to bear it with your strength
I will not deny Your power or Your Spirit
Despite my brokeness, I am yours to save

I'm Not Sure I can Go On...

I suppose it was just a matter of time. It was going to happen sooner than later and I probably should have already addressed this last week when it happened. I was just so shocked by the whole thing, but really, should I have been? You think you know someone. You think they are your good and trusted friend and then with one phone call they turn on you. How can this sort of thing happen?

Last week, my allegedly "good friend"  and pastor who we will call "Steve" "Bob", said that my dog was ugly. There are many things that you can say to another man and get away with it, but this is akin to telling someone their baby is ugly.

I am so hurt. I am bereft of life's vigor and joy. That someone I regarded as a friend would say to me, "your dog is ugly" leaves me nonplussed.

Do you think my dog is ugly?

 How could you not love this animal. What kind of person says such things? I think I deserve an apology. I suppose I could be over reacting, but it's also possible that Steve Bob does not know cute, huggable and lovable when he sees it. And just so you recognize Steve Bob when you see him...I have added his photo here too.



I'm thinking he's jealous. He does not have Oliver the Wonder Dog. He wants one.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Well, That's Embarrassing...


There was a British comedy show on the BBC in England that eventually made it to the States via PBS. I have always enjoyed British humor. The Monty Python crew were among the funniest in some respects, but their show is not the one I am talking about.

"Keeping Up Appearances" was primarily about a British middle class woman and her husband and extended family. Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced 'Bouquet' as she was always reminding people) was very class conscious. She wanted people to believe that she was middle class through and through, but the truth was that she was from lower class stock. She had a sister that was married to a bookie,  another sister married to a permanently unemployed lower class man and a third sister that was not married and was always the "other woman" in her love relationships. The latter two lived in the same house in a poor part of town with their 90 year old father who was also Hyacinth's father.

Hyacinth was continually trying to deny her roots, and maintain her British middle class veneer and also maintain a relationship with her extended family. She wanted to move up in the world. She was trying to maintain the appearance of something she was not and her lower class family was always bringing her back to reality. Try as she might, she was not able to keep up appearances. Comedy would always ensue.

Unfortunately, this kind of 'situation comedy' takes place in real lives everyday. I am of the opinion that we in the church are among the worst offenders. We never talk about where we have been in our walk with the Lord. We never talk about the daily trials we experience and we certainly never talk about our sin. 'Never' may be to precise a word. Let me call it most of the time.

We are the Body of Christ. We have a responsibility to keep the Body healthy. We cannot do that if we do not know each other's struggles. We are always quick to celebrate the victories, but when we fail, the only way our brethren know about it is if it lands us in the newspaper or on the news.

Why is this? Well, we like to keep up appearances don't we? In our pride and in our shame and embarrassment we want to hide our failures, our sins and the temptations that plague us each day. We want to look good.

"Nothing to see here. Just move along".

We worry about how things will look to others, to our families and other associates, but we never stop to think that actually talking about things like this might bring healing, self forgiveness and accountability. When we behave this way, the result is a festering of spiritual disease that can actually shorten your life. It's a good possibility that the cycles of temptation and sin will continue. Whatever it is will continue to happen again and again.

What's the answer?

We need to climb out of our spiritual graves, admit to ourselves that we are not righteous and seek help from the brethren and the Lord.

"Well yes" you say, "but what will they say? What will they think? I will lose face! It's all so embarrassing".

Well, maybe.

So what?

Do you love Jesus? Do you want to live that joyful life you keep singing about and hearing about in sermons?

The only way we will have any victory with these things is to be open and honest about who we are with each other. We need to know each other the way Jesus knows us. Then together with Him we can move forward to create a functioning, healthy Body that functions properly inside and associates well with others on the outside.

You say that we should not air our dirty laundry in public. I say bring it to church and we will help you wash it clean.

In our pride, our fear of embarrassment and in our sense of self righteousness, we will not admit we are weak and that we need each others' love and support.

How will we ever be able to overcome these things if we do not work together to rid ourselves of them?

We need transparency people. We need to love each other, confess to each other and forgive each other. We need to submit to each other and receive healing.

Finally there is the person that says, "well, I am a very private person. I see no reason to burden others with my life issues, not that I have any. I see no reason to share these things. They are not encouraging, they are ugly and they make me uncomfortable talking about them and I do not want to hear others talk about their problems. It makes me squirm out of my seat"

What is the source of your discomfort you silly rabbit? Could it be that it bends your pride all out of shape? Get over yourself and be who you are. Jesus knows who you are. Do you think you've been tricking Him?

That sounded self righteous. I'm trying to get over that, but in my defense, I have been wearing my life issues on my sleeve of late too.

We can help each other with the brokeness. It can get better. We will be more like family and less like Sunday acquaintances that share coffee in the church lobby and talk about the news or politics. Authentic life is possible. Small talk can be our starter kit, but we need to go deeper with each other.

I think I'm done. I love you. Let's talk.      

Saturday, November 14, 2015

News Of The Week In Review

I have been reflecting on the events of the past week and I am so thankful for all the amazing people in my life that love me. Some of them even like me. Sometimes you don't get both you know.

God is moving. He is bringing me healing. He is getting me ready to go home. I did ask Him for that some time ago. The loose ends are being tied up, the kinks are getting ironed out and I just may be a complete man when I see Jesus' smiling face on that first day in Paradise. I don't think there is much here that I will miss when the time comes to go home. I also think that we do not understand what living really is. Eternity with the Creator is not going to be boring by any stretch of the imagination.

Family, friends and church are gathering around me. God is coming alongside me. It's the perfect place to be if you're on earth. What lies ahead here for me is a blur right now. I do not know where He is taking me. The mystery and uncertainty are both thrilling and daunting. It might just be that I die. It might be that I go on to serve in some capacity beyond what I am already doing or maybe it will be just maintaining the current situation until I am done. At this point, I don't care. I am just going to enjoy the peace.

I'm still not much good at anything useful beyond maybe teaching. This I can do. I really want to quit my job at the airport. I need some time to get things together. I need to sell my house and shed myself of all the material burdens. I want to be free. It's hard to do that when you are a slave to stuff if you know what I mean. I also have responsibilities to Dad that would be better served by quitting full time work. I had initially planned to retire in March of 2017. I need to think about moving that up.

A guy needs to be ready to go at a moments notice.

There are still some things that could go wrong with the short term situation. There should be resolution one way or another by the end of November. Whatever happens, I remain fluid. If God does not want this in its present form, I will be OK with it. He has already relieved me of the load. Perhaps that was His only intention...in which case I say, Lord I love you and thanks. I was kind of tired anyway. 

I'm getting a bit long in the tooth to be considering a new adventure. Sometimes it's best just to stay on the porch and let the younger ones do it. I'm all for that. Did I mention I'm tired?

See ya in church.

Friday, November 13, 2015

The Schedule

I have spoken to many of you about the events of Monday night and my blog post from Tuesday via email and phone and I wanted to thank everyone for your love and support. If you are a member of my church will  probably be wondering when everyone will know.


The plan is to advise my Sunday school class members on the 22nd and then take it to the church on the 29th. If that changes, I will advise.


I also have family members that will need to be advised if they have not heard already.


I no longer have fear about any of this. All I can see are the possibilities for spiritual growth internally and an outreach by the church to those that want out of the life or do not want to be in it.


I am excited. I am pumped. I know Jesus' hand is in this.


Let the walls come down. Let the world see how we love one another and we share in each others trials and victories.


Maranatha!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Celibacy

Celibacy is an interesting subject in the Christian world. It is, or can be, a wonderful gift. The apostle Paul talked about it in those terms and Jesus spoke of those that become eunuchs for the Kingdom of God. I do not believe Jesus was speaking in the literal, surgical sense when He said that, but the more spiritual sense of living like a eunuch.

I am celibate. I have been so for 36 years. I probably would have made a good eunuch.

Early on, my thoughts about celibacy were, "what kind of gift is this? It's like getting socks and a toothbrush for Christmas."

But you know what? You need socks and toothbrushes in life. Further to the point, God gives everyone gifts. Some are teachers, some are pastors, some are ministers. Others have musical or writing talents or mechanical abilities or administrative abilities. The list could go on and on.

God gives us gifts. He expects us to use them. He expects us to glorify Him with them. We should want to do our very best to polish our gifts, to get better and better at them and then give them back to the Lord in kind; not to earn salvation or try to buy His favor, but because we love Him.

So if this is the case, how does this work with celibacy if it is indeed a gift? Good question. When you are truly celibate, you are preparing a rare and precious gift for your Father in heaven. It's called a life of purity.

Now if you know me, you know that I am probably not the highest example of purity. Purity has as much to do with daily living as it does with sexual abstinence. Sometimes I am not as pure as I could be in that way. I am unfinished though. As an excuse I offer that God is not finished with me yet.

So here it is. We are to be living sacrifices to God as believers. My sacrifice is sex among other things. I'm not trying to be smug here, but that's a pretty big deal.

I have learned how to enjoy my gift. It gets better everyday. I think God likes it too. Socks and a toothbrush become much more relevant when you see them in the correct light.

Celibacy is not for everyone. You will know if you can do it. An acquaintance once said that it's OK to be lonely as long as you are free. He was right. He was not married. And he was one of the most talented Christian song writers of the 20th century. 

Loneliness can be a part of it. You just have to learn how to make the most of it. Get in contact with your Creator. Draw near to Him. Let Him inspire you and be your friend. He is the best friend a boy could ever have. He will show you things that you never thought possible.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Love

Last night I experienced love. No, not that kind of love...silly rabbit. I have been off that wagon for quite awhile. I enjoyed the love and grace and joy and peace that comes from acceptance. I met with the elders of my church. I took my mask off and I told them who I was and they loved me anyway....just the way that Jesus loves me.


I shared with them my hopes and dreams for our church. I told them I wanted to be apart of it. They were not only supportive, but in many senses, they were way ahead of me. Apparently I am just catching up with them. Here is a bit of what I shared. For some this will be a rude awakening; for others it will be a "ya, I guess I knew that" type thing.

It's been said by some that I am a man with walls; that I am hard to get to know and it's true that I am not a socializer. I am not what you would call a "people person". I do fairly well in small groups and with people that have been in my life for many years, but I do not embrace or trust others easily.

I have been trying to get past this for awhile; to open myself up and bring the walls down, but it's hard for me. There is a point in relationship development with other people where I hit brick wall because honesty about who I am and even, to a certain extent, where I have been in my life is not something I have been able to share since I do not know how others will react. This is especially true in the Lord's Church.

It's been my thought for a very long time that the Church should be a place where we can all take our "masks" off and be ourselves so that we can know each other as Jesus knows us; that we should have no secrets and that we should share and help each other as we pursue our walk with Jesus together.

It's with that thought in mind, that I would like to take the mask off. I am a same sex attracted person. Some would say "gay". Since I am not sexually active and have not been so since I was 22 years old, I do not use that term. Others might. I do not. I am not involved in the gay community. I know people who are, but I am not. I have been celibate for 36 years. It has been tough, but it is only a small part of who I am. It's not really my identity. Nevertheless, I wake up everyday knowing that I am not like most other people.

Having said all that, it is very difficult to develop relationships with new people because inevitably someone will want to know why I am not married. I can always make up a story or joke and tell them that I was wiser than they were, but really, it's just deceit. Further to the point, if one is not open about these things suspicions develop and relationship becomes difficult, if not impossible. I have even found myself walking away from people because I did not want to go through the evasive tactics. 



This should not happen. I am not going to let it happen anymore. I understand that I am bent in the flesh in a very peculiar way and that I have a very grave responsibility to keep that bend in check with the continuing help of the Lord, but seriously, does that mean I cannot enter into deeper relationship with the other members of the body because someone might find that my particular bend makes them uncomfortable or even fearful?

I would like to see this change. I would like to be able to share this, to share my struggle with people and to tell them how much the Lord and yes, even this very church has done for me. I am at a point, for the first time in my life, where I genuinely feel secure in my salvation. I know that some day I am going to see Jesus and there is nothing else in this world that brings me more joy and peace of mind. 

The conversation went on from there as we explored the possibilities of what lie ahead in terms of ministry. 

I probably should not do this in this way, but I want to put it out there for everyone to see.

It is possible to love Jesus and be same sex attracted. You can be a part of His church and help others that are struggling with whatever it is in life. Life is messy. God wants to teach us how to be clean. The time has come for the Church to step out of its middle class fortresses and embrace those that need the grace and love and truth of Jesus Christ.

Last night and together, my church made huge strides in that direction. I am humbled and honored to help in whatever way the Lord may lead us. I do not know where this will go. I do not know what to do next so I am doing this.

As Isaiah said about 2700 years ago, "Here am I Lord. Send me."

I think maybe I just need to start doing this and let the Lord sort out the details.

Lord, thanks so much for last night. The peace and joy I feel right now is more than enough payment for all the years of solitude. I know that was not your doing and yet you give to me anyway. You are my Lord and my God. Thanks you for choosing me to be in your family. I love you Lord. I just need one more thing. Ya, I know I always say that. I need to know where to go from here. I can see the possibilities, but I am indecisive. Show me the way. Show us the way as we move forward in the church. Lord, what I see is a church that needs to know each other, the way you know each of us. Do you want this to happen? I kind of think you do. If not, you need to find a way to tell me and it's going to have to be loud and brash because I do not always notice the trees in the forest if you get my drift.Please clear my head and help me to think this out in a way that is beyond human logic or emotion so that I...we....can see your purpose. I love you...no matter how this goes.

In Your Name I Pray,

Amen  

Monday, November 9, 2015

Psalm 27....Again

The Bible says we should fear two things.

God.

And nothing.

Easy to say right? What I find, though, is that when I come along side of Him, He comes along side of me, and when that happens, fear takes a hike.

The opening and closing verses of Psalm 27 are powerful in this regard. The entire Psalm is one of reassurance in the time of trouble, but I will give the opening and closing and let you read the rest. David was a man that seemed to understand fear because of his life situation and he learned early on that a close relationship with the Lord can break that fear.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?

and
 
I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.

Lord, I think my waiting is over. I know that You are with me and that I have nothing to fear.
Lord, I thank you for the gift of courage, for being with me in this present time, for helping me to break free from the bonds that that our common enemy puts upon me. He is a cagey adversary and he has wreaked havoc in my life, but there comes a time to say "no more" and to enlist the help of the brothers in this battle. Please Lord, help me in Your way to make them see what we must do. I think they know. Only a nudge may be necessary.

The things that You have done for me in my life will stand as witness to Your power. Please make it so Lord. I thank You and praise You for these things.

In Your Name I Pray!

Amen   

Saturday, November 7, 2015

This Bulletin Just In....

Oliver, the Soft Coated Wheaton Terrier, has just proclaimed victory. He has defeated a ground hog in 3 rounds of battle. The groundhog is dead as Oliver struts the yard victoriously with the carcass of the enemy firmly ensconced between his jaws. As blood dripped from the lifeless body of the ground hog onto Oliver's paws, the young K9 shook his prey one more time to be assured of its death. Oliver can rest assured, knowing that his family and friends are safe from this menace.

Meanwhile, the old man (not the old, old man) went out with a shovel to retrieve the body from Oliver before he had an opportunity to dine. Since the rodent was heavy and encumbered the terrier's pace, the old man was able ware Oliver down so he dropped the deceased beast long enough to scoop up the carcass. 

When asked later how he intended to celebrate, Oliver said, "woof, woof. woof, woof and woof.", which apparently has something to do with Disneyworld. We are not sure how that will work, since his shock collar prevents him from going to the end of the driveway, but we will see.

I for one, am hoping this is not an omen for a number of reasons that I will not go into right now.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Do You Love 'Em Even When They're Dirty?


I am assuming most of you had children at one time or another; maybe even now they are in your house. Those that don't probably have nieces and nephews or young cousins.

Did they ever come up to the house after a long day of playing covered in dirt, clothes maybe torn and grass stained, with maybe some blood or a small wound that needed attention? Did you let them in the house anyway? Did you love them, even though they were dirty and wounded because they were yours? Did you bring them in the house and help clean them up; make them a presentable member of the family again? You know why you did that right?

Christian - this is what God does for us and a billion others every single day of every single year since the day the blood of His Son flowed on that cross for us. He brings us back into His House and cleans us up and helps us heal so we will be ready for another day of play. He loved us when we were still dirty and wounded and He loves us now. He also knows we will get wounded and dirty again and He needs the more mature members of His family to help teach the others not to get so dirty and to be more careful.

This is to be at least part of our life in God's Kingdom - the Church.

He also has other dirty and wounded children out there that have no family to bring them inside to clean them up. They need to be adopted and brought into His house. He wants us to bring them in and love them; teach them how to be clean and why they should even care about such things. We have family we do not even know about...yet.

So the next time your brat comes to the house covered in filth, think about that and help him get cleaned up.     


Thursday, November 5, 2015

Messy Grace Equals a Messy Church

In Chapter 10 of his book, Messy Grace, Caleb Kaltenbach says that messy grace will give you a messy church. He goes on to say that he wants us all to have messy chruches. He wants them to be  places where there can be healing from sin and life circumstances. Chapter 10 opens with this.

"Think about your church and ask yourself if it's a place where it's OK for people to say things like these:

"I am and addict and I want to know my next step"
"I can't handle my finances"
"I'm struggling with porn"
"I'm not doing well in my marriage"
"I gossip and feel better when I run down people"
"I'm having issues with my kids"
"I'm struggling with my sexuality"
"I'm gay""

This list could go much farther. Humanity as a whole is bent. We, as Christians within the Church, are trying to recover from this kind of brokeness, at least in theory. I guess my question is, how are we doing?

Can these things be discussed in your church on more than a general, abstract basis? Would people be comfortable with someone confessing their sin or spiritual issues with others in your church or even in front of the entire church? Is your church coming alongside these people to help, minister and support?

As Christ's body, if we are to know each other fully and function as a healthy body, is it not incumbent on us to help each other recover from what we once were, moving forward.? Do we let part of the body die because we do not want to discuss whatever it is?

Believers in search of healing tend to look in other, and possibly wrong places if they do not find it in their church. This is not good. I think we need to be confessing churches that support each other in the full spectrum of struggles that our members endure. There are some things that get a pass at church simply because many people have to deal with it on a daily basis. It is seen as common, what ever it is, and so it gets a pass and most of the time does not get fixed. There is a list of these things that I could name, but I will not. Instead, I will name mine. I tend to be self righteous and prideful. What I find is there are many in church that have this issue. Sometimes we support and uplift each other in our self righteousness and pride rather than seeing it for what it is. We need to get beyond that kind of behavior or we will have a different kind of messy church on our hands - one that is judgmental toward people with life issues and sin issues, that has no sense of compassion for those that are suffering at the hands of our common enemy.

Is your church 'messy'? I hope it's a good kind of messy. 

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Weeds

Do you remember Jesus' story about the weeds? Do you have weeds in your life? Trust me, they will be there for the duration. There is too much danger in uprooting them. Please read the parable below.

Matthew 13:24-30

24 Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. 25 But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. 26 When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.
27 “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’
28 “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.
“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’
29 “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

As Jesus tells us later in the chapter, the farmer is the Son of Man, Jesus Himself. The weeds are the Devil's own - evil people with evil intentions in the world. The harvest is the end of the age and the harvesters are angels that will separate the weeds from the wheat - the saved from the unsaved - and then cast the unbelievers into hell where they ultimately belong with their father the Devil. The saved, on the other hand, will live in the Kingdom of God where they will "shine like the sun". Jesus calls them righteous.

So then, as long as we live here in the time and space of our planet, believers will live with unbelievers. We have to put up with it. We still have to try and grow despite their influence and we have to do so without the help of the farmer. He will not allow His servants to separate us just yet. For one thing, it would be a danger to us. Some of us might become uprooted in the process and perish. The thing the farmer is really counting on though I think is transformation of the weeds. In the real world, weeds do not suddenly become grain or vegetables or flowers or beautiful shrubs or anything else useful. In the spiritual world however, this is not the case. Weeds can be influenced by the grain to change. Unbelievers can choose faith based on what they see and hear promoted by believers. Imagine a field where the actual crops crowd out the stubborn weeds and convert other weeds to fruit bearing status? Imagine that John Lennon.

I have probably taken Jesus' parable too far here, but my considered opinion is that there are weeds out there that would love to be wheat, but they hesitate because they think the wheat hates them or does not accept them. There is something to this.

If you grew up in the Church, you probably never experienced this. Or maybe the power of the weeds influence early on pulled you away or worse still, you were angry at the Farmer for making you a weed in the first place, and was that really His doing?

Brethren, we all start out as weeds regardless of our backgrounds. It's easier for some weeds to change than it is for others. Some weeds will not make it. But the ones that will need our support to become the very best wheat possible given their circumstances. You know what I am saying I hope. You do not want to be guilty of uprooting some of the Farmer's crop.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Chris Rice - Thirsty

Chris Rice - Missin' You

Bad Brain Chemistry III

This morning's post,  Not Good...I'm Feeling Trapped is a prime example of my bad brain chemistry. I apologize for inflicting it on you. I should have kept it to myself along with a few other things.

I will try to be a bit smoother next time, if there is a next time. There are more important things going on than my wild hairs. I am sorry. 

Channeling Mark Twain....


Not Good...I'm Feeling Trapped

I am having the urge to flee the scene. I want to bug out. To escape. I have no clue where I would go or what I would do. I just want to leave.

I get like this when I have spent too much time in one place. I have been here since 2004. The longest that I have stayed anywhere in my adult life was 13 years. That was 3 years too long. I am feeling this morning like I have worn out my welcome here. I could change up a few things and stay here, but I do not think that would work.  There are things that cannot be escaped.

I think I am pretty much stuck here for the foreseeable future. My mind will probably settle down here in a few hours and be all right, but right now, I just want to run away.

Frankly, I am feeling kind of awful. Maybe I just need an Egg McMuffin.

That may be the answer to all my life's issues. Egg McMuffin. A heart attack in a nice wrapper. 

I am not sure why I get this way. I never feel secure anywhere. I could own a bomb shelter in the Rockies and still feel insecure.

I hate conflict and yet I seem to cause it everywhere I go. All I have to do is express an opinion or worse...be myself. Maybe that's the problem. I need to be someone other than who I am. How do I do that? This is what God has left me with. I try to do what I can with it, but sometimes I over reach. Maybe that is what's happening now.

I feel trapped.

The table is set. Do I sit down to eat or move on?  

Monday, November 2, 2015

A Heart Condition

In the parable of the sower in Matthew 13, Jesus tells a story about a farmer planting a field. The  condition of the soil has much to do with it's fertility. The hard packed path will not allow penetration of the seed. The rocky areas of the field have shallow soil where the seed will try to root, but it has no moisture or depth to nourish the seedling. Then there is that part of the field where the thorn and weed seed competes with the wheat seed. The weeds inevitably chokes out the wheat as it tries to grow. And finally there is the good soil that that is ready for planting, receptive to farming and will produce a bumper crop.

In the context of the parable, the field is the world, the seed is the good news and the condition of the different types of soil represent the hearts of the people of the world and their receptivity to the spread of the gospel - the coming of the Kingdom of God.

I was thinking about this parable in the context of the Church. Even though Jesus intended the field to represent the world, what if we applied this story to the Church, God's Kingdom on earth?

The heart conditions of the people in God's Church is very diverse. When we come into to it, we all start in one of these "soil" categories or maybe we even experience all of them. In time though, our "fields" get worked, get conditioned by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. The soil of our hearts becomes more verdant, more useful to His Kingdom. And because He is an excellent farmer, He is able to take even the poorest field and make it grow something useful.

When I think about this in the context of my personal life, I find I have been hardhearted and judgmental. I have been angry with God and with His people. My heart has also been choked with the weeds of personal life issues and career. Both of these worked to keep me from becoming the fertile field that I could have been. Now, here at the end I am figuring this all out. I'm thinking God may yet leave a fertile field behind that was once the desert of my life. His grace and His love has been poured out on me with a good stiff, draught of the Truth mixed in. My field is now the work of His hand. He has reclaimed me from my desolation. It makes me so happy, I just want to cry. This from a man that would not bust any emotion but anger 30 years ago! He has made me feel again. I have to say that while this kind of ticks me off, I do understand other people much better than I used to. At the same time it has left me vulnerable and a bit weaker. The discipline slips, but the grace and the love begin to flow.

What He has done for me is nothing short of a miracle from my point of view.

The sanctification process is much like the process of cleaning up a field for farming. The fact is that dirt is dirt. It's only what's mixed in with it that determines its fertility. Clean it up and it's ready to go. The concept of cleaning up dirt might seem foreign to city dwellers, but it can be done. I am proof of that.

So the next time you are at church and you meet somebody that seems kind of weird, well...maybe they are in the process of having their field cleaned. You might consider coming alongside them to help the Lord with that process. I have found that it goes much faster with help and thanks to all who do that for me.

I am still finding the occasional weed or hard clot, but at least I recognize them when I see them now.

How's your field?