Friday, May 25, 2012

Bad Joke Firday


A young lady visited a computer dating service and inquired, “I’m looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?”
The matchmaker said, “What exactly are you looking for?”
“Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours if I don’t go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.”
The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman.
The results read, “Buy a television.”


“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting.’”
“So we stopped playing chess.”


A passerby noticed a couple of city workers digging holes along the sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but couldn’t figure out what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? One of you digs a hole, and the other guy immediately fills it back up again with dirt.
One of the workers explained: “The guy who plants the trees called in sick today.”


A lady called up a pet store and said, “I’d like to order 2,000 cockroaches.”
“What in the world do you want with 2,000 cockroaches?” asked the astonished clerk.
“Well,” she replied, “I am moving today, and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found it.”