Friday, May 4, 2012

Bad Joke Friday


A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers.
When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it
above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?” he yelled forcefully.
No one answered.
“All right, I’m going to have another beer, and if my horse isn’t back
outside by the time I finish, I’m going to do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t
want to have to do what I dun in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another
beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post.
He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of
the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”


I was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed
to break wind. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of
the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
Then I remembered I was listening to my iPod.


One day, a man notices that his next door neighbor is erecting a tightrope in the backyard. The neighbor goes out to practice every day. He uses balancing bars, carries weights, and even pedals a unicycle across.
Then he starts focusing his practice on the tightrope with a wheel barrow. Every day, he puts more and more weight in the wheel barrow and goes back and forth on the tight rope.
One day, the man chats with his neighbor. “I’ve been watching you practicing on the tightrope for weeks now, and have to say, you’re amazing. But, what’s it all for?” the neighbor asks.
“I’m glad you’ve noticed. As a matter of fact, tomorrow, I’m going to cross over Niagra Falls on my tightrope. Why don’t you come out and see?” the man replies.
The next day, the neighbor is there watching the man get ready for his big show.
“Do you believe I can make it?”
“Oh yes, I’ve seen you practice. You can do it – easy!”
“Great – get in the wheel barrow.”