Friday, April 13, 2012

Bad Joke Friday



The principal made it a habit to visit the classrooms one day a week. He walked into the 4th-grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name.
They came up with 40 names.
The principal boasted that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One boy snickered, “Yes, but in those days there were only 13.”
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One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”
“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
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As two women sat in a coffee shop, they started to discuss their home lives. One said, “It seems like all Robert and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset that I’ve lost fifteen pounds.”
“Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend.
“Oh, not yet,” the woman replied, “I’d like to lose another ten more pounds first!”
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The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.
“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”
“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely.
“In fact, there are three doctors there already!”
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Two men were walking through the woods and found this real deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and listened for the rock to hit bottom. Nothing.
He turned to the other guy and said, “That must be a deep hole … let’s throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom.” They found a bigger rock and both picked it up and dropped it in. They listened for some time and … nothing.
Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it. One man spotted a big log nearby. They picked it up, grunting and groaning, and threw it to the hole, listened intently … nothing.
All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like crazy, blew past the men and jumped into the hole. The men were astounded.
They walked on through the woods, and a little later met an old farmer who asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed … they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods, and run and leap into the big hole. He asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said “Naw, that can’t be my goat … he was chained to a big log.”