Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Police Blotter from The Flathead Beacon in Kalispell, Montana

You really can't write comedy this good. What follows here is the Police Blotter page from the Flathead Beacon in Kalispell, MT
Thursday 3/22

7:36 a.m. A Kila resident discovered a dead cat on his porch.

9:08 a.m. Reportedly, someone in a Jeep has been “casing” the Columbia Falls neighborhood of Sunrise Creek Drive.

12:20 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that she was being harassed by someone she assaulted.

12:24 p.m. A Columbia Falls man complained that stray dogs have been congregating in his yard.

1:50 p.m. A Kalispell man found a suspicious post card in his mailbox and thinks he has a suspect.

2:35 p.m. A man called in and wanted to know if he could check his roommate’s girlfriend’s identification to make sure that she is of age.

3:30 p.m. A woman saw a gray horse standing on Farm to Market Road but was unable to say where exactly it could be found.

4:25 p.m. A young man on Fourth Avenue East threw a tantrum when his mom asked him to take out the garbage.

4:38 p.m. At least three dogs were at large in Hungry Horse.

5:23 p.m. A man on Western Drive claimed that a package was stolen from his doorstep.

5:37 p.m. Terriers were on the loose on Empire Loop.

What city would not trade their crime levels with these? This is great. It's like Andy and Barney in Mayberry. I think I would like to live there. It is what normal used to be. They still have the 'good old days' in Kalispell. Sounds like a good place for an old Ground Hog. I'll have to stay away from those Terriers on Empire Loop though.