Friday, March 23, 2012

It's Friday....I'm Late...Here Ya Go

A guy walks into a post office one day and sees a middle-aged man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and sprays perfume all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the man and asks what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
a group of 6-year-olds.
After explaining the Commandment to “Honor
thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a Commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”


The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.
“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die,” whispered the priest.
“I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.” Nancy couldn’t help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Nancy’s hand in his right hand and Harry’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face. Finally Nancy spoke.
“Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”
The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
The old priest continued, “He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.”